[blparent] Keeping young children safe with a visual impairment

Sat Dec 31 21:49:48 UTC 2011

Hi Bridgit,
Thank you for your message. :)
We have made it clear that we are fully aware of the fine line between
"asking more questions about safety" and discrimination. We've also made it
clear that we are preparing and planning in case we feel this fine line is
crossed. We're not going to back down from this, because we know without a
doubt that we are more than able to be foster/adoptive parents just as
anyone else.
By the way, we were sick of proving ourselves a very long time ago... ;)
Thanks again, and happy new year!

In Christ, Miranda
-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Saturday, December 31, 2011 3:04 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] Keeping young children safe with a visual impairment

Miranda and others,

Before I say what I have to say, let me make it clear I'm in no way
suggesting you and your husband become difficult and belligerent. As most of
us know, this attitude, though seemingly called for at times in my opinion
(this meant sarcastically, smile( usually does nothing to help further our
abilities in the eyes of doubters and detractors.

That being said, I caution you to tread carefully in terms of not labeling
actions as discriminatory.

The fact of the matter is that whether people hop on board with us or not,
"it" should not be right or legal to ask a blind person to go above and
beyond what others are asked to do for any given circumstance. From my own
brief communications with you, you and your husband seem like capable,
confident people who know how to handle situations like this, and this post
isn't necessarily directed only to you, but I'm sick and tired of those with
visual impairments being asked to prove things and jump through hoops that
are in no way fair or equal. If the state was asking for more information
about how a Muslim or Latino family would safely parent, well, we know the
legal system would not support this (or at least have the gall to outright
say such things in this day and age).
Yet blind people are asked to jump through hoops that others are not. I know
I'm preaching to the choir, and I know this is why the Federation produced
the informational book on blind parenting, but I think we need to do more
because it's not fair that we have to prove ourselves in ways that other
parents do not have too.

It doesn't matter whether people "trust" that a blind person can do
something safely; people learn foreign languages I don't know; doesn't mean
I don't believe others can't speak them. People understand physics concepts
that go beyond my "own" understanding; doesn't mean that because I don't
understand it that it automatically means others therefore can't either.
Adoptive or biological, parents should not have to "prove" anything that is
not normally asked of a parent.

You and your husband are taking an extra class through Hadley; I doubt
others going through the licensing process are taking classes outside the
ones offered by the state. You are being asked to document and seek out
information on how to do something simple, and again, I doubt others are
having to provide, and do leg work, similar information. In my opinion, this
is discrimination, but as usual, we're suppose to smile and take the
submissive stance, after-all, we can certainly understand why anyone would
ask this of us, right? In my opinion, wrong.

The safety of children is paramount, and if the state has had problems with
this in the past, to an extent, it makes sense to ensure children are paired
with homes that will provide that security, but if others going through the
parenting process, adoptive or otherwise, are not being asked to do similar
things, this crosses the line into discrimination. So, to you parents who
have more experience, and wisdom, and those who have been "dealing" with
this "blind" situation longer, when do we stand up and say, "Hey, this isn't
fair! My visual impairment in no way affects my ability to parent. And I
fail to see others jumping through similar hoops." I know we don't want to
rock the boat, but I don't think we can either continue to allow this
behavior and mindset to be acceptable and normal.

I'm not trying to be difficult (well, much, grin) but this is what has been
the most difficult adjustment for me since losing my sight 8 years ago; the
perceptions and attitudes of others.  I grew up sighted, taking these things
for granted. I didn't become blind until an adult, and I'm relatively still
new to blindness compared to many of you, so it's often more difficult for
me to sit passively by with these issues. I'm the same person, with the same
values and goals, it happens I just can no longer "see." Yet this one aspect
of me tends to rule everything else in the eyes of many. I'm probably just
PMS-ing (ha-ha!) but I hear stories like yours, Miranda, and I am outraged.
Decades of toiling for equality and fair treatment, and it seems like we are
still proving our abilities that shouldn't, quite frankly, be questioned at
all. For far too many still, it doesn't matter how many blind people can
parade in front of their eyes proving just what the blind are capable of;
they still don't believe, they still doubt and think they, who have no
knowledge of blindness of other than those based on perceptions and
stereotypes, what being blind is like and what can and can not be done. This
is egregious behavior that is to antiquated to continue to exist anymore.
But as always, where do we go? Where do we start? In my opinion, we need an
official initiative agreed upon and enacted by each state to work on
education, legislation, mediation and any other effort to change these views
in the eyes of the public and the government.

Okay, sorry for the rant. I'm just a little testy, as are the rest of you,
on this issue in particular.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/

"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 7
Date: Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:51:02 -0500
From: "Miranda B." <knownoflove at gmail.com>
To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [blparent] Keeping young children safe as parents with a
	visual	impairment
Message-ID: <001701ccc756$454c6090$cfe521b0$@gmail.com>
Content-Type: text/plain;	charset="us-ascii"

Hi,

For those of you who know me and have talked with me for any length of time,
you may find the subject of this email a bit puzzling, so please let me
explain.

As some of you may know, my husband and I are currently in the process of
being licensed as foster parents. After sending our home study to the state
for approval, our caseworker (through a private agency) received notice from
the state that they are requesting more information. They are asking her to
investigate further resources and information about how we will keep a child
in our home safe as foster parents who happen to be Blind. The state has
made it very clear that they are not wanting to discriminate in any way, but
that they are requesting more information from many families regarding child
safety due to recent incidents in our foster care system. They are also
wanting more information than usual from those applying to be foster parents
who have never been parents before this. 

In return, we have answered basic questions of safety as best as we can and
we've reiterated that we have all childproofing in place in our home (our
case was recently transferred to a caseworker who knows us but has not
recently been in our home.) We want to approach this situation with the
intent to educate the state about resources for Blind parents, and adaptions
we make as parents who are visually impaired. We have made it clear that
there is a fine line between wanting more information and discrimination
(whether intentional or not) and that we will appeal any denial for
licensing should the need arise. We are taking a Hadley parenting course,
and this has been documented. We've told our caseworker about the NFB and
other Blindness organizations. Now, we are coming to you for tips and
advice. Can you tell us adaptions you made to keep your children safe? These
could be adaption for medical care, making sure they didn't run out the door
of your home, keeping them safe while you are cooking, ETC. Anything you cn
think of we'd appreciate it!
Also, for those of you who have adopted or been licensed as foster parents,
if you could provide any tips or advice on this matter this would also be
greatly appreciated!

Lastly, if you can think of any resources at all to pass along to our
caseworker and the state, we'd appreciate any thing you can think of.

Thanks in advance for any help you can give, and happy new year!

In Christ, Miranda

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