[blparent] Leaving a Toddler for Several Nights

Wed Jan 19 17:52:32 UTC 2011

This is great advice.  Reading stories in your own voice and recording them
is a great idea.  Maybe if she likes to look at pictures you could give her
a small album with pictures of you and her dad, and maybe even all of you
together so she has something to look at if she gets sad.  You could talk to
your friends and see if they would be willing to have her draw a special
picture for you of what she has done each day you're gone, or do some other
type of small project to give to you when you come back.  Also, as much as
possible, having her routines will be comforting.  If there's a special
object she sleeps with at night, or a special book, or number of books you
read, or favorite music she listens to either during the day or at night,
make sure the friends caring for her know about these things.  Perhaps you
could buy her something special before the trip.  When I had Oriana I bought
Austin a Pillow Pet he had been wanting for a long time.  This is a
different situation, of course, but I told him the Pillow Pet was from his
new brother or sister and was his Big Brother present.  I actually gave it
to him a couple of weeks before Oriana was born, and he slept with it every
night.  We really talked it up, and we told him he could bring the Pillow
Pet to our friends' house when I went to the hospital to have the baby.  I
don't know if it was the Pillow Pet, or the preparation we did ahead of
time, or a combination of the two, but he had no problem going to our
friends' house and staying there for the nights I was in the hospital.  You
may want to try something similar--I don't know.  
	Preparation is also key.  I certainly wouldn't over do it, but
telling her that you and Daddy have to go on a trip, but that people will be
caring for her, and that you will call her and be thinking about her would
help her at least to understand a bit about what is going to happen.  You
will probably be more upset than she is in the long run, but be prepared for
tears when you leave and possibly some tearful phone conversations--that is
if she'll talk to you at all on the phone.  
	One more thing I thought of...  It sounds as if she's all ready
familiar with the people who will be caring for her, but perhaps having them
over ahead of time to play with her a bit so she is even more used to them
might help.  Austin went to Wisconsin this summer with my sister for a week.
I was really worried about having him away from me for that long, especially
since he doesn't see my sister very much.  She came a couple of days ahead
of time however, and when it came time for them to leave for the airport
together it was me who was crying after they left...  He was all ready to
go.  Believe me, I know this type of thing is hard, but I am sure she will
be fine, and you will make it through as well!  As always, she'll take her
cues from you, so the more upbeat you can be about it, while also
acknowledging the fact that she might feel sad and that you will feel sad
and miss her--but that it's going to be all right--the better off she'll be.

Hope some of this helps!
Melissa

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Brandy W
Sent: Tuesday, January 18, 2011 6:32 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] Leaving a Toddler for Several Nights

One thing that tends to help is to read a book on CD or something that she
can hear when ever she misses other you. Otherwise bring some things she
loves at home, and know you will be more upset than her. Hope it works out
fine.

"Be aware of wonder. Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and
draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some."--Robert
Fulghum
Brandy Wojcik  Discovery Toys Educational Consultant and Team leader
(512) 689-5045
www.playtoachieve.com
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-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Tuesday, January 18, 2011 4:02 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] Leaving a Toddler for Several Nights

Hi.  Circumstances have come up that have given me no choice but to leave
Sarah with a family friend for about five days and five nights while her dad
and I go out of town.  The sitters are completely trustworthy, so I'm not
worried about that at all, but I've never left her for nearly that long.
Two nights has been the max.  I'm wondering if there's anything I can do to
make this easier on Sarah.  Have any of you had to do this, and what helped?
Or maybe it's only me who's worrying too much, and she'll be unphased by the
whole thing.  Thanks for anything you all can offer, this list really is a
helpful resource.

Jo Elizabeth

"Some people see things as they are and ask why.  I dream things that never
were and ask why not."--Robert F. Kennedy
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