[blparent] troubled parent

Thu Mar 24 15:44:31 UTC 2011

Hi, Nikki.  I'm sorry you're having such trouble right now.  The one thing 
that I would say is that you're the mom, and you get to decide who, if 
anybody, is allowed to spank your child.  Even if you live with your 
parents, in my opinion, you have the right to say whether or not they use 
physical discipline with your son.  Just something to think about.

Jo Elizabeth

"Some people see things as they are and ask why.  I dream things that never 
were and ask why not."--Robert F. Kennedy

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Nikki" <daizies304 at comcast.net>
Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 9:28 AM
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent

>    OMG! He has it bad. We've tried talking to him, reminding him of 
> consequences,
> but it doesn't seem to do justice. Yes, he goes to Kindergarten for 2 1/2 
> hours everyday. He only goes for half a day because he's very smart. The 
> teacher has to warn him more often than other kids. He's your regular 
> bouncy ball. The teacher gave him a special chair to sit in because he 
> can't sit still. Doesn't seem to be working. My dad, his papa, said that 
> he should sit in one of our wooden chairs quietly all day or unless he's 
> at school. He also said that if this doesn't change his behavior, he's 
> going to fulfill his threats on spanking.
>
>
>
> Hi,
>
> OH sorry to hear about his dad.  As to the time outs,It might drive him 
> nuts to have to sit still for 5 minutes, and that might just be the 
> insentive he needs to behave.  Does he go to school at all?  I know that 
> when my son started school his whole attitude changed because he was more 
> stimulated at school, so he was tired when he came home.  He’s one of 
> those never sit down kids too, and nothing else worked except the time 
> outs for him because of that.  He hates not being part of the action all 
> the time, so he behaves better when we remind him what happens when he 
> doesn’t.
>
>
> Tammy
> From: Nikki
> Sent: Thursday, March 24, 2011 12:15 AM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
>
>    His daddy abandoned him. He doesn't call or write. Time out, huh? Well,
> I don't think it would work with my gremlin. He can't sit still. He's 
> gotta
> be constantly moving and that's trouble for me because I fatigue easily.
>
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Tammy
> Sent: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 10:50 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] troubled parent
>
> Hi,
>
> Have you tried time outs?  My son is 6 and they work well for us.  Your 
> son
> sounds like mine, that is to say that what you describe sounds very 
> typical
> of children of that age group.  Also, you say you’re divorced, and I don’t
> mean to get too personal, but does your son’s behaviour esculate around
> visits from or to his father’?  If so, this might be a trigger, and you 
> may
> want to talk to your son about how he feels about being with his dad, 
> verses
> being with you.  Don’t make it stressful for him, but just talk to him 
> about
> his favourite things at both places, and whatever you do, don’t say 
> anything
> negative about his father, even though that’s very hard at times.  He may 
> be
> confused about why he has to go back and forth, or even why you’re living
> with your parents.  You never know what little kids are thinking and 
> talking
> to them can open doors for the two of you that will allow for bonding, and 
> a
> closer relationship.  I don’t know if any of this will help, but I’m
> divorced from my son’s father, and he has a step-father now, but it’s been 
> a
> bumpy road for him.  This may not be the case for you, but talking and
> timeouts might just help smooth the bumps a little.
>
> hth
>
> Tammy
>
> From: Nikki
> Sent: Wednesday, March 23, 2011 11:26 PM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [blparent] troubled parent
>
>        Nikki here and very distressed. Divorced mother of a 5 year old 
> boy.
> Live with parents, ugh!
>
> I need behavioral modifacations other than spanking. He doesn’t listen 
> well,
> follow directions, stay focused, and talks when he’s not supposed to.
>
> Wanting to stay away from spanking for punishment. Anyone have any advice
> for me?
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