[blparent] Few: Where have all the manners gone? (question for Blind Parent list)

[Chad Allen]

Hi,

I'd confront the parents on your own. Say that you have some concerns but
you'd like to keep having the children play with each other.

It sounds like the kids are doing great. Now, the parents just need to learn
to play nice with each other too. Do whatever it takes to keep the kids
having fun together. These are important relationships for your daughter to
have and should continue if at all possible. 

If you reach out to the parents, I'm sure they'll reach out to you. 

I hope it works out. I'm sure you'll find the best approach for the most
favorable outcome. 

Chad 
  

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Deborah Kent Stein
Sent: Monday, May 23, 2011 3:45 PM
To: Multiple recipients of NFBnet blparent Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] Fw: Where have all the manners gone? (question for Blind
Parent list)


Jo Elizabeth asked me to post this as she's having problems with her email
account.

______


Hi.  I've had an interesting question come up as my daughter has gotten old
enough that we can walk around the neighborhood and play with the other
kids.  There are a couple of families who live in the complex, one with a
child a few months older than Sarah, and one with a child a few months
younger, as well as some older girls.  Sarah likes to play with the kids,
who are often outside.  We've gone up there a couple of times, and I've sat
on the sidewalk with the other moms, occasionally enforcing the rules about
Sarah having to share and so on, but otherwise leaving her to play.

The first thing I noticed is that the other moms pretty much talk to each
other and don't include me in the conversation.  I'm somewhat of an
introvert, and also used to this, so I didn't do a whole lot about it at
first.  I just threw in a comment here or there, and they would answer
politely and then go on talking among themselves.  That bothered me a
little, but I let it roll off because Sarah had been enjoying the company of
the other kids.  Then, when I was there a few weeks ago, the moms and their
husbands were sitting around, and somebody brought out beers--for everybody
except me.  I'm not much of a drinker, so I didn't care, though I would have
loved a glass of water.  But it struck me as odd that I wasn't offered
anything.

So then the final straw was this morning.  The girls were out playing with
Barbie things on the sidewalk, so Sarah asked nicely if she could join them.
She did a great job of sharing all morning, I was proud of her.  Then the
girls went into their houses to get snacks.  They brought out chips and
wouldn't give any to Sarah, even though she asked politely.  She cried, and
one of the moms called out the window to see what she was crying for.  So I
said we had to go home and have lunch, and of course, Sarah was upset and
didn't want to leave.

So what's the deal?  I'm really appalled.  I wouldn't even consider giving
my kid or myself drinks or snacks when others were over without offering
them any.  And if Sarah had something to eat, I would insist that she would
share.  So am I hopelessly old-fashioned, or is there a real problem with
the rest of the world?  And what should I do?  Should I keep Sarah away from
the little girls, even though she enjoys playing with them?  Should I take
the lack of interaction from the moms as a sign that we aren't really wanted
there?  Or should I just chalk it up to them being nervous about my
blindness and keep on appearing over there till they get relaxed?  Should I
bring drinks and snacks for myself and Sarah, or bring them for everybody?
I'm just really troubled and at a loss.

Jo Elizabeth

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself--nameless, unreasoning,
unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into
advance."--Franklin D. Roosevelt
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