[blparent] Fw: Where have allthemannersgone? (questionforBlind Parent list)

Veronica Smith madison_tewe at spinn.net
Tue May 24 17:14:13 UTC 2011 

I'm glad your email is working again.  Educate is the word we all need to
remember.  We need to show the sightlings of the world that we are people
and have feelings just like they do.  We don't want to be rude to them as
rudness goes no where.  Educate them and they hopefully will come around. V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Monday, May 23, 2011 10:33 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Fw: Where have allthemannersgone? (questionforBlind
Parent list)

I have a babysitter who did me proud.  She remarked to one of her other 
clients that she babysat for a mother who had a blind child.  The woman said

it wasn't fair to the child, having a blind mother.  Cassie, she gave the 
woman the what-for.  She said my daughter was more advanced than average in 
verbal skills and thinking skills, and that she was more socially developed 
than other kids.  I don't know if any of that is particularly true, but it 
felt good to be stuck up for.  The woman kind of backtracked, too, and said 
she just hadn't thought of it that way, and that she made a snap judgment. 
I told Cassie she better be aware of not driving her clients away but she 
really went to bat for me.  Go, teenagers!

Jo Elizabeth

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself--nameless, unreasoning, 
unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into 
advance."--Franklin D. Roosevelt

--------------------------------------------------
From: "jill" <jillbilly4 at comcast.net>
Sent: Monday, May 23, 2011 9:50 PM
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Fw: Where have allthemannersgone?
(questionforBlindParentlist)

> Yes, I think that people think we are either miracles of nature being able
> to be independent, or people who only look from a far as those poor " 
> blind
> people".  Never just Jill the nut down the street!  It is the crazy old
> blind lady!  Smile
> Jill
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
> Sent: Monday, May 23, 2011 10:11 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Fw: Where have all themannersgone? 
> (questionforBlind
> Parent list)
>
> And that's really the heart of the matter.  We must remember that's it's
> blindness they are afraid of or how they would function of their sight was
> gone.  It's not us that they are afraid of.
> We can make or break the stereotypes they have of blind folks or dispel or
> add to their fears of going blind themselves.
> We may not like it, but we spend our lives being role models.
> Barbara
>
>
>
>
> Let every nation know whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay
> any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose
> any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.--John
> F. Kennedy
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: Erin Rumer
> Sent: Monday, May 23, 2011 9:50 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Fw: Where have all the mannersgone?
> (questionforBlind Parent list)
>
> Yes, I remember hearing about a study where people said they'd rather lose
> two of their limbs than go blind so that really shows how petrified people
> are of blindness.  We need to try as hard as it is not to take it 
> personally
> and just show people that we are capable, beautiful and real people with
> feelings, sense of humors and hobbies just like everyone else.  I had a
> woman come up to me just yesterday who couldn't believe that I stay home
> alone with my son every day and get every wear we go independently.  I 
> just
> had to remind myself that it's really herself that she couldn't imagine
> taking care of a baby if she was blind and has nothing to do with me 
> because
> I'm perfectly capable.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
> Sent: Monday, May 23, 2011 7:31 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Fw: Where have all the manners gone?
> (questionforBlind Parent list)
>
> But the truth of the matter is they are afraid of "catching blindness".
> They are terrified of what their future would look like if they lost their
> sight.  That is one of the greatest fears one faces.
> Barbara
>
>
>
>
> Let every nation know whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay
> any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose
> any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.--John
> F. Kennedy
> -----Original Message----- 
> From: jill
> Sent: Monday, May 23, 2011 8:27 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Fw: Where have all the manners gone?
> (questionforBlind Parent list)
>
> Jo Elizabeth,
> I am afraid I experience the same attitudes here as well.  I have often
> wondered if people were afraid of catching blindness...just kidding.  I
> usually in those situations continue to talk and make them talk to me.  I
> think it bothers my older son when we are out and people stare.  I had
> rather take a moment to teach, but he wants to be invisible.  I chalk a 
> lot
> of that up to him being 13.  He did get really angry at school the other
> day.  He got into a word fight with a boy.  His coach asked what it was 
> over
> and the other boy had to run laps in P.E.  The kid said "how did John's 
> mom
> get her fingers burnt" and then the kid said "she was reading a waffle
> iron".  My son used a few choice words at him.  I told John that the boy 
> was
> just showing his ignorance.  At least the coach didn't punish John for
> standing up for me.  You always think that things will evolve, and they 
> have
> to some degree, but just like with racism, they still have a long way to 
> go.
> Jill
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Veronica Smith
> Sent: Monday, May 23, 2011 6:40 PM
> To: 'Deborah Kent Stein'; 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Fw: Where have all the manners gone? (question
> forBlind Parent list)
>
> Jo elizabeth, the rest of the world is just rude.  This stuff still 
> happens
> to me especially at the school.  Everyone seems to run in pakcs and the 
> one
> that is different is left out.  Just today while at gab's last day of 5th
> grade, al these mom's were talking to one another and when I joined in, 
> the
> replys were short and to the point and when the kids moved to another
> station, they seemed to walk away, never asking if I needed help getting
> through the maze of water bottles and cones.  I can do it, but it would 
> have
> been nice to be asked anyway.
> It also happens to me at girl scout's, where you'd think they should have
> more manners.  I just ignore them and do my own thing as I know they won't
> even acknolegeme.
> As for the snacks and stuff, just bring something for Sara and to heck 
> with
> their snacks.  But don't take her from her friends, maybe they will get 
> used
> to the idea of a blind mom hanging around.  Maybe next time they bring out
> refreshments, you should say, I should of brought one for myself.  Myabe
> then, they will get the hint that you are a real person. V
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Deborah Kent Stein
> Sent: Monday, May 23, 2011 4:45 PM
> To: Multiple recipients of NFBnet blparent Mailing List
> Subject: [blparent] Fw: Where have all the manners gone? (question for 
> Blind
> Parent list)
>
>
> Jo Elizabeth asked me to post this as she's having problems with her email
> account.
>
> ______
>
>
> Hi.  I've had an interesting question come up as my daughter has gotten 
> old
> enough that we can walk around the neighborhood and play with the other
> kids.  There are a couple of families who live in the complex, one with a
> child a few months older than Sarah, and one with a child a few months
> younger, as well as some older girls.  Sarah likes to play with the kids,
> who are often outside.  We've gone up there a couple of times, and I've 
> sat
> on the sidewalk with the other moms, occasionally enforcing the rules 
> about
> Sarah having to share and so on, but otherwise leaving her to play.
>
> The first thing I noticed is that the other moms pretty much talk to each
> other and don't include me in the conversation.  I'm somewhat of an
> introvert, and also used to this, so I didn't do a whole lot about it at
> first.  I just threw in a comment here or there, and they would answer
> politely and then go on talking among themselves.  That bothered me a
> little, but I let it roll off because Sarah had been enjoying the company 
> of
> the other kids.  Then, when I was there a few weeks ago, the moms and 
> their
> husbands were sitting around, and somebody brought out beers--for 
> everybody
> except me.  I'm not much of a drinker, so I didn't care, though I would 
> have
> loved a glass of water.  But it struck me as odd that I wasn't offered
> anything.
>
> So then the final straw was this morning.  The girls were out playing with
> Barbie things on the sidewalk, so Sarah asked nicely if she could join 
> them.
> She did a great job of sharing all morning, I was proud of her.  Then the
> girls went into their houses to get snacks.  They brought out chips and
> wouldn't give any to Sarah, even though she asked politely.  She cried, 
> and
> one of the moms called out the window to see what she was crying for.  So 
> I
> said we had to go home and have lunch, and of course, Sarah was upset and
> didn't want to leave.
>
> So what's the deal?  I'm really appalled.  I wouldn't even consider giving
> my kid or myself drinks or snacks when others were over without offering
> them any.  And if Sarah had something to eat, I would insist that she 
> would
> share.  So am I hopelessly old-fashioned, or is there a real problem with
> the rest of the world?  And what should I do?  Should I keep Sarah away 
> from
> the little girls, even though she enjoys playing with them?  Should I take
> the lack of interaction from the moms as a sign that we aren't really 
> wanted
> there?  Or should I just chalk it up to them being nervous about my
> blindness and keep on appearing over there till they get relaxed?  Should 
> I
> bring drinks and snacks for myself and Sarah, or bring them for everybody?
> I'm just really troubled and at a loss.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself--nameless, unreasoning,
> unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into
> advance."--Franklin D. Roosevelt
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