[blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!

Wed Nov 9 22:46:44 UTC 2011

I agree Sheila, sometimes I think people see us as less intelegent just
because we're blind.
On Wed, 09 Nov 2011 15:44:17 -0700
Sheila Leigland <sleigland at bresnan.net> wrote:

> Erin i'm not saying that all of theese things are traumatic just that people don't always think about what they are doing. I think in my case I wondered if my relative somitimes equated blindness with lack of intelligence. And or knoledge of how to use other senses. I think that's what bothered me the most that somehow I let her convince me that I was less of a person because of the lack of vision which is not true.
> 
> Sheila Leigland
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Erin Rumer <erinrumer at gmail.com>
> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:31 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> 
> Joe Elizabeth, I wasn't personally attacking you so I'm sorry if it came off
> that way.  I'm just feeling a bit defensive because after my comment of
> putting less caffeine in my husband's coffee came up, tons of folks started
> shooting off about traumatizing experiences of strange things being put into
> their food and I felt very attacked.  I especially was hurt when I was
> accused by Rebecca for being controlling with my husband because I'm not
> that way in the least and here I was totally up front with him after all and
> just forgot about it.  The thing is, I just kept visualizing my husband
> being completely exhausted during the day from staying up to late and
> getting into a car accident and here I was the one who made his coffee.  I
> couldn't live with myself knowing that I aided in that.
> 
> Thanks for hearing me out and I'm glad to hear that making the cardboard bus
> is working for your daughter right now.  I too hope that sticks until
> Christmas.
> 
> Erin
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:15 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> 
> Okay, retract the claws and take a deep breath.  I didn't mean to imply, or 
> say in any way, that you fixing your husband's coffee a certain way had 
> anything to do with people putting weird things into my food.  I was 
> replying to Sheila's post, and that's all.  Maybe we should just drop this 
> whole thing?
> 
> Jo Elizabeth
> 
> "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, 
> compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of 
> the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all of 
> these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist
> 
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Erin Rumer" <erinrumer at gmail.com>
> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:06 PM
> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> 
> > Okay, stop making it sound like I'm sneaking funny things into my 
> > husband's
> > food, but rather I'm simply trying to help take the best care of him and
> > look out for his health.  I just called my husband at work since he's on
> > break to talk to him about this and see if it's ever really bothered him 
> > and
> > he told me that he reminded me that I told him back at the start that I 
> > was
> > going to do that to his coffee if I had to make it because I was against 
> > him
> > drinking caffeine so late at night.  He also told me not to get caught up
> > with the accusations some are making because he knows that I'm not being
> > controlling in the least, but love him so much I just want him to be as
> > healthy as possible.  My husband then thanked me for looking out for him 
> > so
> > much and we came to an agreement that he'll drink coffee like that only on
> > the weekends since he knows that's not the best for him.  I had siblings
> > that did strange things to my food as a kid and I'd never do that to 
> > anyone
> > so don't blow things out of proportion and compare me trying to cut my
> > husband's caffeine intake to that.
> >
> > Erin
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> > Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> > Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 2:52 PM
> > To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> > Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> >
> > Now, that I hate.  My brother and sister and even my dad used to do weird
> > things to my food, like putting cheese or sour cream on when they knew I
> > didn't like it, or slipping gummy bears into my pot pie.  To this day, I 
> > I'm
> > really careful about who serves me a plate if we go to a party and it's a
> > buffet kind of thing.  And that bit about open your mouth and close your
> > eyes, here it comes, your big surprise--forget it!  I won't do that for
> > anybody, ever.
> >
> > Jo Elizabeth
> >
> > "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
> > compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant 
> > of
> > the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all 
> > of
> > these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist
> >
> > --------------------------------------------------
> > From: "Sheila Leigland" <sleigland at bresnan.net>
> > Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 2:32 PM
> > To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> > Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> >
> >> People do weird things my aunt who has since moved away loved doing
> >> this kind of stuff like putting sour cream in a baked potato enen
> >> though I don't like it because she thought I wouldnt Notice because
> >> I'm blind. Or giving a coffee flavored dessert and I do't like or
> >> drink coffee and laugh because of course I notice. Very sstrange
> >> woman.
> >>
> >> Sheila Leigland
> >>
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC) <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
> >> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 1:39 PM
> >> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> >> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> >>
> >> This bothers me re the husband. He's an adult, he can put a legal
> >> substance into his body without you giving it the okay.
> >> Now, if he's asked you to do this, then fine but this just seems a bit
> >> controling to me Sneaking stuff into food or out of food totally
> >> creeps me out.
> >> And if he is unaware of what you're doing, he can give inaccurate
> >> health information to his doctor. Or, do you control that aspect too?
> >>
> >>
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> >> On Behalf Of Erin Rumer
> >> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:31 PM
> >> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> >> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> >>
> >> I think we need to be careful not to read too much into these kinds of
> >> things.  My parents could get away with certain things with my sighted
> >> siblings that they couldn't with me and my sighted siblings aren't
> >> bitter with them for that at all.  We were all treated equally but my
> >> parents were smart and new what things they could do with each of us
> >> as individuals.
> >> For
> >> example, my sighted younger sister is not very observant so my mom new
> >> she could sneak veggies into the meatloaf right in front of her
> >> because she probably wouldn't even be paying attention.  With me
> >> however, I could smell the veggies from a mile away and new right away
> >> my mom was using them in the meat loaf which I loved, but you get the
> >> point.  Heck, there's things I do in front of my sighted husband that
> >> he's unaware of, like give him decaf coffee instead of the real stuff
> >> because I know it's better for him and he's addicted to having too
> >> much caffeine at night.  It's a win-win because he feels more awake
> >> since he thinks he got the leaded stuff and I know I'm helping his
> >> health.
> >>
> >> Erin
> >>
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> >> On Behalf Of Marla Wertman
> >> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 12:50 PM
> >> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> >> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> >>
> >> I think as blind adults though we need to be careful about this.  I
> >> know it is just something as simple is buying a birthday present with
> >> blind child right there, and it's easy to get away with because they
> >> can't see it, but I see it is taking advantage of the fact that they
> >> can't see. To me that is close to lying.Maybe I'm not explaining this
> >> right, but my parents never did things like this to me.  I was treated
> >> just like my sighted brother, because they wanted me to grow up as
> >> normal is possible.
> >> On Wed, 09 Nov 2011 12:43:36 -0700
> >> "Erin Rumer" <erinrumer at gmail.com> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Oh, let me tell you that I was an observant little thing but my mom
> >>> new just the ways to distract me to keep my mind off what was going
> >>> in the cart when I was young enough.  It probably helped a ton that I
> >>> have always been super sociable and chatting with her and others in
> >>> the store was way more fun than items being pulled off the shelves.
> >>> Obviously this was easier than if I had sight and could see exactly
> >>> what
> >> was going into the cart.
> >>>
> >>> Erin
> >>>
> >>> -----Original Message-----
> >>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
> >>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> >>> On Behalf Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
> >>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 12:25 PM
> >>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> >>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> >>>
> >>> Thank you for this.
> >>> I may disagree with you that a child who is blind would be unaware of
> >>> stuff longer, that sure didn't work with me from what my parents tell
> >>> me That may depend on the child/person though, some of us just like
> >>> to observe and pay attention and there are many ways to do this
> >>> without being
> >> obvious about it.
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> -----Original Message-----
> >>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
> >>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> >>> On Behalf Of Erin Rumer
> >>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 2:18 PM
> >>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> >>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> >>>
> >>> Rebecca, I totally agree with what you're saying but please let me
> >>> clarify since we're talking about two different things.  I'm
> >>> referring to parents cutting corners with kids young enough to be
> >>> totally unaware of what's going on.  Naturally, this would last a
> >>> little longer with a blind child because the parent has the advantage
> >>> of the kid not being able to see what's in the cart.  I guess why it
> >>> really didn't bother me was because I didn't know it was happening
> >>> since I was young enough and didn't find out that my folks were doing
> >>> this until I was much older.  My folks didn't do this with me as an
> >>> older child and I think that's where the difference lies.  It's like
> >>> getting something for your baby because they're a baby and don't know
> >>> the difference and no one would think any different about cutting
> >>> that corner and that's all I mean.  If you're old enough to be aware
> >>> of it happening and parents are still doing it then that is wrong for
> > sure.
> >>> When it came to wrapping the gifts my mom had me help her with
> >>> wrapping everyone's gifts for years before I even thought about my
> >>> own gifts being placed into my own little paws which was always a
> >>> very special privilege that the other kids didn't get.  When I was
> >>> getting older and came across one that I felt might be mine my mom
> >>> would say, "You don't want to spoil your fun for Christmas do you?"
> >>> and I smiled sheepishly and continued wrapping since it was such a
> >>> fun thing to share with mom and didn't bother me.  If my mom saw at
> >>> all that I was bothered by this and felt taken advantage of then she
> >>> would have stopped for sure.  Every kid's different as we all know
> >>> and some things
> >> bother one that don't bother another and that's where it's important
> >> to be receptive parents and treat each kid as an individuals.
> >>>
> >>> Thanks,
> >>>
> >>> Erin
> >>>
> >>> As far as kids finding gifts in hidden places goes, I'd just do what
> >>> my parents would do which was tell me that Santa can't store
> >>> everything for all the children in the world at the North Pole and so
> >>> they have parents store some gifts ahead of time to help him out.
> >>>
> >>> -----Original Message-----
> >>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
> >>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> >>> On Behalf Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
> >>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 11:38 AM
> >>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> >>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> >>>
> >>> It matters if it hurts the person who is having the corners cut.
> >>> I don't recall my parents doing this, they went to great lengths to
> >>> keep stuff a surprise which I do appreciate.
> >>> Cutting corners is say, skipping a bath or having PB&J for supper
> >>> every now and then.
> >>> Would you feel this way if somebody planned a party for you and said
> >>> "f*** it, I didn't decorate because I knew you couldn't see it"? Or
> >>> "I could have gotten you a really neat kick with something you love
> >>> on it, but since you can't see it, I just picked one up at Giant?"
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>
> >>> -----Original Message-----
> >>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
> >>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> >>> On Behalf Of Erin Rumer
> >>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 1:07 PM
> >>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> >>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> >>>
> >>> My parents got my gifts with me there at the store as well and I've
> >>> got to say I don't blame them.  It's enough work to try and shop and
> >>> organize holiday details so why not cut corners where you can.  Heck,
> >>> I'd do it if my kid was blind! SMILING  My mom would even have me
> >>> wrap some of my gifts if they were in unidentifiable boxes which
> >>> killed me and made me laugh all at the same time.  With Dawson I'm
> >>> going to take a trick from my mother-in-law and wrap the gifts inside
> >>> other things that are totally different shapes from the actual gifts.
> >>> For example, taking a old blanket that's not being used and wrapping
> >>> something smaller inside of that or hiding a gift inside a big ball
> >>> of newspaper.  It doesn't have to be pretty, just has to do the trick.
> >>>
> >>> Erin
> >>>
> >>> -----Original Message-----
> >>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
> >>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> >>> On Behalf Of Lisamaria Martinez
> >>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 10:30 AM
> >>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> >>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> >>>
> >>> You know, my parents wrapped my gifts in front of me too. In fact,
> >>> they'd shop for them in front of me. I thought it was rude and
> >>> totally unfair to do that just because I couldn't see.
> >>>
> >>> LM
> >>>
> >>> On 11/9/11, Jo Elizabeth Pinto <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
> >>> > Hi.  For any of you moms who have little ones starting to run
> >>> > around and get into things, I thought I'd warn you about something
> >>> > I just learned the hard way.  *Smile.*  They'll see everything,
> >>> > especially what you don't want them to, and they'll remember.
> >>> > They're smarter than
> >>> we give them credit for.
> >>> >
> >>> > I bought Sarah the Little People school bus because she's really
> >>> > into buses and planes and the like right now.  The package came
> >>> > from Amazon while she was at preschool about a month ago, and I
> >>> > threw the boxes in the recycling bin and hid the toy at the top of
> >>> > my closet, thinking I was
> >>> pretty slick.
> >>> > Well, she saw part of a picture on one box sticking out of the bin.
> >>> > She asked about it, and I glossed over it.  We moved on, and I
> >>> > thought she'd forgotten about the bus.
> >>> >
> >>> > So this morning, I went to get a shirt from the closet, and Sarah
> >>> > wandered in behind me.  All at once, she started jumping up and
> >>> > down, saying, "I see it!  Up there!  The bus toy really is here!  I
> >>> > want that
> >>> bus toy!"
> >>> >
> >>> > I guess I didn't hide it well enough.  She saw the box peeking out
> >>> > from under a blanket on a high shelf and remembered the picture
> >>> > from the recycling bin.  She had a bit of a meltdown because she
> >>> > knew the toy was there, but I wouldn't get it off the shelf for
> >>> > her.  I couldn't really explain why, either.  Now Santa Claus can't
> >>> > bring that toy to her, either, because it'll blow his cover.  I'll
> >>> > have to give it to her from Mom and Dad, or maybe from her brother
> > Stephen.
> >>> > Anyway, my point is, when I was a kid, my family could (and did)
> >>> > wrap my presents right in front of me.  But obviously, blind
> >>> > parents of sighted kids have to be very careful about these things.
> >>> >
> >>> > Jo Elizabeth
> >>> >
> >>> > "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
> >>> > compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and
> >>> > tolerant of the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you
> >>> > will have been all of these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943,
> >>> > American scientist _______________________________________________
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> >>> >
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> >>
> >>        Marla Wertman
> >> Avon representative
> >> http://www.youravon.com/mwertman
> >>
> >>
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	Marla Wertman
Avon representative
http://www.youravon.com/mwertman