[blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
Erin Rumer
erinrumer at gmail.com
Wed Nov 9 22:58:17 UTC 2011
I think you hit the nail on the head in saying that people just don't often
think what they're doing when they do these kinds of things. I had people
do stupid food tricks on me as a kid and an adult and I know what you're
saying completely with how they can make you feel like less of a person
because it hurts. I think we just have to remind ourselves that it's not
folks really being vindictive, but rather just them needing an education on
the subject.
Erin
-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Sheila Leigland
Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:44 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
Erin i'm not saying that all of theese things are traumatic just that people
don't always think about what they are doing. I think in my case I wondered
if my relative somitimes equated blindness with lack of intelligence. And or
knoledge of how to use other senses. I think that's what bothered me the
most that somehow I let her convince me that I was less of a person because
of the lack of vision which is not true.
Sheila Leigland
-----Original Message-----
From: Erin Rumer <erinrumer at gmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:31 PM
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
Joe Elizabeth, I wasn't personally attacking you so I'm sorry if it came off
that way. I'm just feeling a bit defensive because after my comment of
putting less caffeine in my husband's coffee came up, tons of folks started
shooting off about traumatizing experiences of strange things being put into
their food and I felt very attacked. I especially was hurt when I was
accused by Rebecca for being controlling with my husband because I'm not
that way in the least and here I was totally up front with him after all and
just forgot about it. The thing is, I just kept visualizing my husband
being completely exhausted during the day from staying up to late and
getting into a car accident and here I was the one who made his coffee. I
couldn't live with myself knowing that I aided in that.
Thanks for hearing me out and I'm glad to hear that making the cardboard bus
is working for your daughter right now. I too hope that sticks until
Christmas.
Erin
-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:15 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
Okay, retract the claws and take a deep breath. I didn't mean to imply, or
say in any way, that you fixing your husband's coffee a certain way had
anything to do with people putting weird things into my food. I was
replying to Sheila's post, and that's all. Maybe we should just drop this
whole thing?
Jo Elizabeth
"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of
the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of
these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist
--------------------------------------------------
From: "Erin Rumer" <erinrumer at gmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:06 PM
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
> Okay, stop making it sound like I'm sneaking funny things into my
> husband's food, but rather I'm simply trying to help take the best
> care of him and look out for his health. I just called my husband at
> work since he's on break to talk to him about this and see if it's
> ever really bothered him and he told me that he reminded me that I
> told him back at the start that I was going to do that to his coffee
> if I had to make it because I was against him drinking caffeine so
> late at night. He also told me not to get caught up with the
> accusations some are making because he knows that I'm not being
> controlling in the least, but love him so much I just want him to be
> as healthy as possible. My husband then thanked me for looking out
> for him so much and we came to an agreement that he'll drink coffee
> like that only on the weekends since he knows that's not the best for
> him. I had siblings that did strange things to my food as a kid and
> I'd never do that to anyone so don't blow things out of proportion and
> compare me trying to cut my husband's caffeine intake to that.
>
> Erin
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
> On Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 2:52 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>
> Now, that I hate. My brother and sister and even my dad used to do
> weird things to my food, like putting cheese or sour cream on when
> they knew I didn't like it, or slipping gummy bears into my pot pie.
> To this day, I I'm really careful about who serves me a plate if we go
> to a party and it's a buffet kind of thing. And that bit about open
> your mouth and close your eyes, here it comes, your big
> surprise--forget it! I won't do that for anybody, ever.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
> compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and
> tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will
> have been all of these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943,
> American scientist
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Sheila Leigland" <sleigland at bresnan.net>
> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 2:32 PM
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>
>> People do weird things my aunt who has since moved away loved doing
>> this kind of stuff like putting sour cream in a baked potato enen
>> though I don't like it because she thought I wouldnt Notice because
>> I'm blind. Or giving a coffee flavored dessert and I do't like or
>> drink coffee and laugh because of course I notice. Very sstrange
>> woman.
>>
>> Sheila Leigland
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC) <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 1:39 PM
>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>
>> This bothers me re the husband. He's an adult, he can put a legal
>> substance into his body without you giving it the okay.
>> Now, if he's asked you to do this, then fine but this just seems a
>> bit controling to me Sneaking stuff into food or out of food totally
>> creeps me out.
>> And if he is unaware of what you're doing, he can give inaccurate
>> health information to his doctor. Or, do you control that aspect too?
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>> On Behalf Of Erin Rumer
>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:31 PM
>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>
>> I think we need to be careful not to read too much into these kinds
>> of things. My parents could get away with certain things with my
>> sighted siblings that they couldn't with me and my sighted siblings
>> aren't bitter with them for that at all. We were all treated equally
>> but my parents were smart and new what things they could do with each
>> of us as individuals.
>> For
>> example, my sighted younger sister is not very observant so my mom
>> new she could sneak veggies into the meatloaf right in front of her
>> because she probably wouldn't even be paying attention. With me
>> however, I could smell the veggies from a mile away and new right
>> away my mom was using them in the meat loaf which I loved, but you
>> get the point. Heck, there's things I do in front of my sighted
>> husband that he's unaware of, like give him decaf coffee instead of
>> the real stuff because I know it's better for him and he's addicted
>> to having too much caffeine at night. It's a win-win because he
>> feels more awake since he thinks he got the leaded stuff and I know
>> I'm helping his health.
>>
>> Erin
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>> On Behalf Of Marla Wertman
>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 12:50 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>
>> I think as blind adults though we need to be careful about this. I
>> know it is just something as simple is buying a birthday present with
>> blind child right there, and it's easy to get away with because they
>> can't see it, but I see it is taking advantage of the fact that they
>> can't see. To me that is close to lying.Maybe I'm not explaining this
>> right, but my parents never did things like this to me. I was
>> treated just like my sighted brother, because they wanted me to grow
>> up as normal is possible.
>> On Wed, 09 Nov 2011 12:43:36 -0700
>> "Erin Rumer" <erinrumer at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>> Oh, let me tell you that I was an observant little thing but my mom
>>> new just the ways to distract me to keep my mind off what was going
>>> in the cart when I was young enough. It probably helped a ton that
>>> I have always been super sociable and chatting with her and others
>>> in the store was way more fun than items being pulled off the shelves.
>>> Obviously this was easier than if I had sight and could see exactly
>>> what
>> was going into the cart.
>>>
>>> Erin
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>> On Behalf Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 12:25 PM
>>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>
>>> Thank you for this.
>>> I may disagree with you that a child who is blind would be unaware
>>> of stuff longer, that sure didn't work with me from what my parents
>>> tell me That may depend on the child/person though, some of us just
>>> like to observe and pay attention and there are many ways to do this
>>> without being
>> obvious about it.
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>> On Behalf Of Erin Rumer
>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 2:18 PM
>>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>
>>> Rebecca, I totally agree with what you're saying but please let me
>>> clarify since we're talking about two different things. I'm
>>> referring to parents cutting corners with kids young enough to be
>>> totally unaware of what's going on. Naturally, this would last a
>>> little longer with a blind child because the parent has the
>>> advantage of the kid not being able to see what's in the cart. I
>>> guess why it really didn't bother me was because I didn't know it
>>> was happening since I was young enough and didn't find out that my
>>> folks were doing this until I was much older. My folks didn't do
>>> this with me as an older child and I think that's where the
>>> difference lies. It's like getting something for your baby because
>>> they're a baby and don't know the difference and no one would think
>>> any different about cutting that corner and that's all I mean. If
>>> you're old enough to be aware of it happening and parents are still
>>> doing it then that is wrong for
> sure.
>>> When it came to wrapping the gifts my mom had me help her with
>>> wrapping everyone's gifts for years before I even thought about my
>>> own gifts being placed into my own little paws which was always a
>>> very special privilege that the other kids didn't get. When I was
>>> getting older and came across one that I felt might be mine my mom
>>> would say, "You don't want to spoil your fun for Christmas do you?"
>>> and I smiled sheepishly and continued wrapping since it was such a
>>> fun thing to share with mom and didn't bother me. If my mom saw at
>>> all that I was bothered by this and felt taken advantage of then she
>>> would have stopped for sure. Every kid's different as we all know
>>> and some things
>> bother one that don't bother another and that's where it's important
>> to be receptive parents and treat each kid as an individuals.
>>>
>>> Thanks,
>>>
>>> Erin
>>>
>>> As far as kids finding gifts in hidden places goes, I'd just do what
>>> my parents would do which was tell me that Santa can't store
>>> everything for all the children in the world at the North Pole and
>>> so they have parents store some gifts ahead of time to help him out.
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>> On Behalf Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 11:38 AM
>>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>
>>> It matters if it hurts the person who is having the corners cut.
>>> I don't recall my parents doing this, they went to great lengths to
>>> keep stuff a surprise which I do appreciate.
>>> Cutting corners is say, skipping a bath or having PB&J for supper
>>> every now and then.
>>> Would you feel this way if somebody planned a party for you and said
>>> "f*** it, I didn't decorate because I knew you couldn't see it"? Or
>>> "I could have gotten you a really neat kick with something you love
>>> on it, but since you can't see it, I just picked one up at Giant?"
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>> On Behalf Of Erin Rumer
>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 1:07 PM
>>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>
>>> My parents got my gifts with me there at the store as well and I've
>>> got to say I don't blame them. It's enough work to try and shop and
>>> organize holiday details so why not cut corners where you can.
>>> Heck, I'd do it if my kid was blind! SMILING My mom would even have
>>> me wrap some of my gifts if they were in unidentifiable boxes which
>>> killed me and made me laugh all at the same time. With Dawson I'm
>>> going to take a trick from my mother-in-law and wrap the gifts
>>> inside other things that are totally different shapes from the actual
gifts.
>>> For example, taking a old blanket that's not being used and wrapping
>>> something smaller inside of that or hiding a gift inside a big ball
>>> of newspaper. It doesn't have to be pretty, just has to do the trick.
>>>
>>> Erin
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>> On Behalf Of Lisamaria Martinez
>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 10:30 AM
>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>
>>> You know, my parents wrapped my gifts in front of me too. In fact,
>>> they'd shop for them in front of me. I thought it was rude and
>>> totally unfair to do that just because I couldn't see.
>>>
>>> LM
>>>
>>> On 11/9/11, Jo Elizabeth Pinto <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
>>> > Hi. For any of you moms who have little ones starting to run
>>> > around and get into things, I thought I'd warn you about something
>>> > I just learned the hard way. *Smile.* They'll see everything,
>>> > especially what you don't want them to, and they'll remember.
>>> > They're smarter than
>>> we give them credit for.
>>> >
>>> > I bought Sarah the Little People school bus because she's really
>>> > into buses and planes and the like right now. The package came
>>> > from Amazon while she was at preschool about a month ago, and I
>>> > threw the boxes in the recycling bin and hid the toy at the top of
>>> > my closet, thinking I was
>>> pretty slick.
>>> > Well, she saw part of a picture on one box sticking out of the bin.
>>> > She asked about it, and I glossed over it. We moved on, and I
>>> > thought she'd forgotten about the bus.
>>> >
>>> > So this morning, I went to get a shirt from the closet, and Sarah
>>> > wandered in behind me. All at once, she started jumping up and
>>> > down, saying, "I see it! Up there! The bus toy really is here!
>>> > I want that
>>> bus toy!"
>>> >
>>> > I guess I didn't hide it well enough. She saw the box peeking out
>>> > from under a blanket on a high shelf and remembered the picture
>>> > from the recycling bin. She had a bit of a meltdown because she
>>> > knew the toy was there, but I wouldn't get it off the shelf for
>>> > her. I couldn't really explain why, either. Now Santa Claus
>>> > can't bring that toy to her, either, because it'll blow his cover.
>>> > I'll have to give it to her from Mom and Dad, or maybe from her
>>> > brother
> Stephen.
>>> > Anyway, my point is, when I was a kid, my family could (and did)
>>> > wrap my presents right in front of me. But obviously, blind
>>> > parents of sighted kids have to be very careful about these things.
>>> >
>>> > Jo Elizabeth
>>> >
>>> > "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the
>>> > young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving,
>>> > and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life
>>> > you will have been all of these."--George Washington Carver,
>>> > 1864-1943, American scientist
>>> > _______________________________________________
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>>> > 4
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>>> >
>>>
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