[blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!

janel jjointski at verizon.net
Thu Nov 10 00:42:12 UTC 2011 

My sister use to make me feel that a car would hit me when crossing the 
street with her.  To this day, I am still somewhat afraid to cross the 
street.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Erin Rumer" <erinrumer at gmail.com>
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 6:23 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!


> There are some tricks that my sister played on me as a kid that we laugh
> about in the family to this day, but they often times backfired on her and
> that makes us laugh even harder.  We also have a great time laughing about
> how I'd chase my sister with my cane and hit her with it to get her back 
> for
> putting my hand on a manikin's private areas in the mall or for pretending
> to go down stairs when there weren't any around to watch me stumble and 
> feel
> for the step with my foot.  The difference here with my family compared to
> how yours is being is that my sister admits that those things were stupid
> and we laugh about how dumb they were and how I'd always find a way to get
> her back for being a shmuck.  I never got how the messing with people's 
> food
> thing could be funny to anyone.
>
> Erin
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 4:12 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>
> I don't know.  I hated the stupid food tricks and always felt they were 
> mean
> and vindictive.  I don't approve of practical jokes that let people laugh 
> at
> someone else's expense.  My family refused to be educated on the subject.
> They still tell those food stories a lot when we get together, which is 
> one
> reason (among many) that we don't get together very often.
>
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
> compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant 
> of
> the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all 
> of
> these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Erin Rumer" <erinrumer at gmail.com>
> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:58 PM
> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>
>> I think you hit the nail on the head in saying that people just don't
>> often think what they're doing when they do these kinds of things.  I
>> had people do stupid food tricks on me as a kid and an adult and I
>> know what you're saying completely with how they can make you feel
>> like less of a person because it hurts.  I think we just have to
>> remind ourselves that it's not folks really being vindictive, but
>> rather just them needing an education on the subject.
>>
>> Erin
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>> On Behalf Of Sheila Leigland
>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:44 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>
>> Erin i'm not saying that all of theese things are traumatic just that
>> people don't always think about what they are doing. I think in my
>> case I wondered if my relative somitimes equated blindness with lack
>> of intelligence. And or knoledge of how to use other senses. I think
>> that's what bothered me the most that somehow I let her convince me
>> that I was less of a person because of the lack of vision which is not
>> true.
>>
>> Sheila Leigland
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Erin Rumer <erinrumer at gmail.com>
>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:31 PM
>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>
>> Joe Elizabeth, I wasn't personally attacking you so I'm sorry if it
>> came off that way.  I'm just feeling a bit defensive because after my
>> comment of putting less caffeine in my husband's coffee came up, tons
>> of folks started shooting off about traumatizing experiences of
>> strange things being put into their food and I felt very attacked.  I
>> especially was hurt when I was accused by Rebecca for being
>> controlling with my husband because I'm not that way in the least and
>> here I was totally up front with him after all and just forgot about
>> it.  The thing is, I just kept visualizing my husband being completely
>> exhausted during the day from staying up to late and getting into a
>> car accident and here I was the one who made his coffee.  I couldn't
>> live with myself knowing that I aided in that.
>>
>> Thanks for hearing me out and I'm glad to hear that making the
>> cardboard bus is working for your daughter right now.  I too hope that
>> sticks until Christmas.
>>
>> Erin
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>> On Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:15 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>
>> Okay, retract the claws and take a deep breath.  I didn't mean to
>> imply, or say in any way, that you fixing your husband's coffee a
>> certain way had anything to do with people putting weird things into
>> my food.  I was replying to Sheila's post, and that's all.  Maybe we
>> should just drop this whole thing?
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
>> compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and
>> tolerant of the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will
>> have been all of these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943,
>> American scientist
>>
>> --------------------------------------------------
>> From: "Erin Rumer" <erinrumer at gmail.com>
>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:06 PM
>> To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>
>>> Okay, stop making it sound like I'm sneaking funny things into my
>>> husband's food, but rather I'm simply trying to help take the best
>>> care of him and look out for his health.  I just called my husband at
>>> work since he's on break to talk to him about this and see if it's
>>> ever really bothered him and he told me that he reminded me that I
>>> told him back at the start that I was going to do that to his coffee
>>> if I had to make it because I was against him drinking caffeine so
>>> late at night.  He also told me not to get caught up with the
>>> accusations some are making because he knows that I'm not being
>>> controlling in the least, but love him so much I just want him to be
>>> as healthy as possible.  My husband then thanked me for looking out
>>> for him so much and we came to an agreement that he'll drink coffee
>>> like that only on the weekends since he knows that's not the best for
>>> him.  I had siblings that did strange things to my food as a kid and
>>> I'd never do that to anyone so don't blow things out of proportion
>>> and compare me trying to cut my husband's caffeine intake to that.
>>>
>>> Erin
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>> On Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 2:52 PM
>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>
>>> Now, that I hate.  My brother and sister and even my dad used to do
>>> weird things to my food, like putting cheese or sour cream on when
>>> they knew I didn't like it, or slipping gummy bears into my pot pie.
>>> To this day, I I'm really careful about who serves me a plate if we
>>> go to a party and it's a buffet kind of thing.  And that bit about
>>> open your mouth and close your eyes, here it comes, your big
>>> surprise--forget it!  I won't do that for anybody, ever.
>>>
>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>
>>> "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
>>> compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and
>>> tolerant of the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you
>>> will have been all of these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943,
>>> American scientist
>>>
>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>> From: "Sheila Leigland" <sleigland at bresnan.net>
>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 2:32 PM
>>> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>
>>>> People do weird things my aunt who has since moved away loved doing
>>>> this kind of stuff like putting sour cream in a baked potato enen
>>>> though I don't like it because she thought I wouldnt Notice because
>>>> I'm blind. Or giving a coffee flavored dessert and I do't like or
>>>> drink coffee and laugh because of course I notice. Very sstrange
>>>> woman.
>>>>
>>>> Sheila Leigland
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC) <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 1:39 PM
>>>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>>
>>>> This bothers me re the husband. He's an adult, he can put a legal
>>>> substance into his body without you giving it the okay.
>>>> Now, if he's asked you to do this, then fine but this just seems a
>>>> bit controling to me Sneaking stuff into food or out of food totally
>>>> creeps me out.
>>>> And if he is unaware of what you're doing, he can give inaccurate
>>>> health information to his doctor. Or, do you control that aspect too?
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>> On Behalf Of Erin Rumer
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 3:31 PM
>>>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>>
>>>> I think we need to be careful not to read too much into these kinds
>>>> of things.  My parents could get away with certain things with my
>>>> sighted siblings that they couldn't with me and my sighted siblings
>>>> aren't bitter with them for that at all.  We were all treated
>>>> equally but my parents were smart and new what things they could do
>>>> with each of us as individuals.
>>>> For
>>>> example, my sighted younger sister is not very observant so my mom
>>>> new she could sneak veggies into the meatloaf right in front of her
>>>> because she probably wouldn't even be paying attention.  With me
>>>> however, I could smell the veggies from a mile away and new right
>>>> away my mom was using them in the meat loaf which I loved, but you
>>>> get the point.  Heck, there's things I do in front of my sighted
>>>> husband that he's unaware of, like give him decaf coffee instead of
>>>> the real stuff because I know it's better for him and he's addicted
>>>> to having too much caffeine at night.  It's a win-win because he
>>>> feels more awake since he thinks he got the leaded stuff and I know
>>>> I'm helping his health.
>>>>
>>>> Erin
>>>>
>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>> On Behalf Of Marla Wertman
>>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 12:50 PM
>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>>
>>>> I think as blind adults though we need to be careful about this.  I
>>>> know it is just something as simple is buying a birthday present
>>>> with blind child right there, and it's easy to get away with because
>>>> they can't see it, but I see it is taking advantage of the fact that
>>>> they can't see. To me that is close to lying.Maybe I'm not
>>>> explaining this right, but my parents never did things like this to
>>>> me.  I was treated just like my sighted brother, because they wanted
>>>> me to grow up as normal is possible.
>>>> On Wed, 09 Nov 2011 12:43:36 -0700
>>>> "Erin Rumer" <erinrumer at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> Oh, let me tell you that I was an observant little thing but my mom
>>>>> new just the ways to distract me to keep my mind off what was going
>>>>> in the cart when I was young enough.  It probably helped a ton that
>>>>> I have always been super sociable and chatting with her and others
>>>>> in the store was way more fun than items being pulled off the shelves.
>>>>> Obviously this was easier than if I had sight and could see exactly
>>>>> what
>>>> was going into the cart.
>>>>>
>>>>> Erin
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> On Behalf Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 12:25 PM
>>>>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>>>
>>>>> Thank you for this.
>>>>> I may disagree with you that a child who is blind would be unaware
>>>>> of stuff longer, that sure didn't work with me from what my parents
>>>>> tell me That may depend on the child/person though, some of us just
>>>>> like to observe and pay attention and there are many ways to do
>>>>> this without being
>>>> obvious about it.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> On Behalf Of Erin Rumer
>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 2:18 PM
>>>>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>>>
>>>>> Rebecca, I totally agree with what you're saying but please let me
>>>>> clarify since we're talking about two different things.  I'm
>>>>> referring to parents cutting corners with kids young enough to be
>>>>> totally unaware of what's going on.  Naturally, this would last a
>>>>> little longer with a blind child because the parent has the
>>>>> advantage of the kid not being able to see what's in the cart.  I
>>>>> guess why it really didn't bother me was because I didn't know it
>>>>> was happening since I was young enough and didn't find out that my
>>>>> folks were doing this until I was much older.  My folks didn't do
>>>>> this with me as an older child and I think that's where the
>>>>> difference lies.  It's like getting something for your baby because
>>>>> they're a baby and don't know the difference and no one would think
>>>>> any different about cutting that corner and that's all I mean.  If
>>>>> you're old enough to be aware of it happening and parents are still
>>>>> doing it then that is wrong for
>>> sure.
>>>>> When it came to wrapping the gifts my mom had me help her with
>>>>> wrapping everyone's gifts for years before I even thought about my
>>>>> own gifts being placed into my own little paws which was always a
>>>>> very special privilege that the other kids didn't get.  When I was
>>>>> getting older and came across one that I felt might be mine my mom
>>>>> would say, "You don't want to spoil your fun for Christmas do you?"
>>>>> and I smiled sheepishly and continued wrapping since it was such a
>>>>> fun thing to share with mom and didn't bother me.  If my mom saw at
>>>>> all that I was bothered by this and felt taken advantage of then
>>>>> she would have stopped for sure.  Every kid's different as we all
>>>>> know and some things
>>>> bother one that don't bother another and that's where it's important
>>>> to be receptive parents and treat each kid as an individuals.
>>>>>
>>>>> Thanks,
>>>>>
>>>>> Erin
>>>>>
>>>>> As far as kids finding gifts in hidden places goes, I'd just do
>>>>> what my parents would do which was tell me that Santa can't store
>>>>> everything for all the children in the world at the North Pole and
>>>>> so they have parents store some gifts ahead of time to help him out.
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> On Behalf Of Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)
>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 11:38 AM
>>>>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>>>
>>>>> It matters if it hurts the person who is having the corners cut.
>>>>> I don't recall my parents doing this, they went to great lengths to
>>>>> keep stuff a surprise which I do appreciate.
>>>>> Cutting corners is say, skipping a bath or having PB&J for supper
>>>>> every now and then.
>>>>> Would you feel this way if somebody planned a party for you and
>>>>> said
>>>>> "f*** it, I didn't decorate because I knew you couldn't see it"? Or
>>>>> "I could have gotten you a really neat kick with something you love
>>>>> on it, but since you can't see it, I just picked one up at Giant?"
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> On Behalf Of Erin Rumer
>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 1:07 PM
>>>>> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>>>
>>>>> My parents got my gifts with me there at the store as well and I've
>>>>> got to say I don't blame them.  It's enough work to try and shop
>>>>> and organize holiday details so why not cut corners where you can.
>>>>> Heck, I'd do it if my kid was blind! SMILING  My mom would even
>>>>> have me wrap some of my gifts if they were in unidentifiable boxes
>>>>> which killed me and made me laugh all at the same time.  With
>>>>> Dawson I'm going to take a trick from my mother-in-law and wrap the
>>>>> gifts inside other things that are totally different shapes from
>>>>> the actual
>> gifts.
>>>>> For example, taking a old blanket that's not being used and
>>>>> wrapping something smaller inside of that or hiding a gift inside a
>>>>> big ball of newspaper.  It doesn't have to be pretty, just has to do
> the trick.
>>>>>
>>>>> Erin
>>>>>
>>>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org
>>>>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org]
>>>>> On Behalf Of Lisamaria Martinez
>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, November 09, 2011 10:30 AM
>>>>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] Beware those sharp little eyes!
>>>>>
>>>>> You know, my parents wrapped my gifts in front of me too. In fact,
>>>>> they'd shop for them in front of me. I thought it was rude and
>>>>> totally unfair to do that just because I couldn't see.
>>>>>
>>>>> LM
>>>>>
>>>>> On 11/9/11, Jo Elizabeth Pinto <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
>>>>> > Hi.  For any of you moms who have little ones starting to run
>>>>> > around and get into things, I thought I'd warn you about
>>>>> > something I just learned the hard way.  *Smile.*  They'll see
>>>>> > everything, especially what you don't want them to, and they'll
> remember.
>>>>> > They're smarter than
>>>>> we give them credit for.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > I bought Sarah the Little People school bus because she's really
>>>>> > into buses and planes and the like right now.  The package came
>>>>> > from Amazon while she was at preschool about a month ago, and I
>>>>> > threw the boxes in the recycling bin and hid the toy at the top
>>>>> > of my closet, thinking I was
>>>>> pretty slick.
>>>>> > Well, she saw part of a picture on one box sticking out of the bin.
>>>>> > She asked about it, and I glossed over it.  We moved on, and I
>>>>> > thought she'd forgotten about the bus.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > So this morning, I went to get a shirt from the closet, and Sarah
>>>>> > wandered in behind me.  All at once, she started jumping up and
>>>>> > down, saying, "I see it!  Up there!  The bus toy really is here!
>>>>> > I want that
>>>>> bus toy!"
>>>>> >
>>>>> > I guess I didn't hide it well enough.  She saw the box peeking
>>>>> > out from under a blanket on a high shelf and remembered the
>>>>> > picture from the recycling bin.  She had a bit of a meltdown
>>>>> > because she knew the toy was there, but I wouldn't get it off the
>>>>> > shelf for her.  I couldn't really explain why, either.  Now Santa
>>>>> > Claus can't bring that toy to her, either, because it'll blow his
> cover.
>>>>> > I'll have to give it to her from Mom and Dad, or maybe from her
>>>>> > brother
>>> Stephen.
>>>>> > Anyway, my point is, when I was a kid, my family could (and did)
>>>>> > wrap my presents right in front of me.  But obviously, blind
>>>>> > parents of sighted kids have to be very careful about these things.
>>>>> >
>>>>> > Jo Elizabeth
>>>>> >
>>>>> > "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the
>>>>> > young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the
>>>>> > striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong.  Because
>>>>> > someday in life you will have been all of these."--George
>>>>> > Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist
>>>>> > _______________________________________________
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>>>>> >
>>>>>
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>>>>        Marla Wertman
>>>> Avon representative
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