[blparent] strangers communicating visually with your child

[Lisamaria Martinez]

Hi,

In the last few days, I've been observing a few things that apparently
I was totally unaware of while out in the public with Erik. Either I
was oblivious or he's learning to interact more with people. I know
he's already a big flirt, but I've always been able to tell when he's
flirting with the ladies.

 So, I'm curious now to know how other parents handle situations in
which the public communicates/plays with your child.

Here's what is happening to me:

I usually take Erik out of his stroller during our BART ride. He loves
to move around so much now that being restrained in his stroller is
torture and he loudly proclaims his feelings about being strapped in
and not on the move. So, I put him on my lap and he either sits and
watches people while chewing his fingers or happily drooling on
mommy's hands and forearms or he stands up on my lap and pats the
window while we pass other trains, trees and buildings.

I usually can tell when he catches the attention of a fellow
passenger. He turns his head and stares. He starts to flap his little
arms around like he's about to fly off somewhere. Or, he starts
leaning toward them and tries to get them to pick him up.

Yesterday and today though, he was just chilling in my lap and I hear
him give a little laugh. Really, it is his big dimpled grin
accompanied by a noise that tells me he's smiling. The people to my
right and left start laughing out loud and one of them started talking
to Erik and said, "Oh, she's playing peek-a-boo with you isn't she?
You like that don't you? What a good boy you are." I looked at them
and smiled and pretended I knew what they were talking about. That was
yesterday. Today apparently, the lady next to me was making faces,
waving at him, or something. He just kind of sat there making a few
noises which I interpreted as him being sleepy or upset. And he was
starting to get upset. so, I hoisted him into my arms and he dropped
his head onto my shoulder and made his cute little sleepy noises. He
popped his head right up in about a minute and looked all around again
and made an upset noise. The lady next to me, started snapping her
fingers and waving her hand in front of his face which was pretty much
in front of my face too. She started talking to him and saying, "Oh,
no, no. Don't cry. You were smiling at me earlier when I was making
faces at you."

I was really kind of annoyed at her for snapping and waving near my
face. It was like a foot away ... but really! I think though I was
just annoyed that she was doing all these faces at my son and I had no
clue she was playing with him. Maybe it shouldn't bother me so much,
but I have been slightly sleep deprived lately and I am feeling
cranky. Am I just being cranky? Seriously though, how do others handle
situations like this. My little guy is really very sociable and there
will be many times when strangers will smile at him, wave, make faces,
etc, etc. And, I'm not always going to know what's up.

I'm interested in your comments and stories.

LM