[blparent] Stranger contact with your child

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

I agree. Sometimes we need to take a deep breath , relax and just let
life happen. People will think, and assume, what they will. We certainly
have opportunities to inform society about the capabilities of the
blind, but personally, though I have strong opinions and feelings on the
topic, I get sick of always living as a "blind" person- meaning I make
my life revolve around one aspect of myself when I choose to focus on
this one thing, and assume the entire world is focused on it. If they
are, so be it. As long as our children are aware of the truth and not
the perceptions, or rather following the truth and not the perceptions,
that's all that matters. Our actions speak louder than words. If we live
what we "preach," than our children will grow up believing we are like
everyone else. And society also has a better chance of changing when
they "see" us in action. Talk ends up being a lot of wasted air and
time. Because we're the ones raising our children, and therefore
instilling healthy attitudes about disability, they probably are not as
influenced by how others respond to us. Any child wants to feel useful
and helpful. Depending on how it's phrased, when people tell a child
that they must be a helper, I think it's better to view this positively.
I've heard sighted parents receive similar compliments, so why not allow
the message to apply as a compliment to children with parents who are
blind? Sometimes we can't excuse behavior and should speak up, but let
our children feel validated. To our children, blindness isn't a big
deal, and they probably don't interpret comments in a negative light. We
can't always view the world with negativity and leave the house each day
armed and prepared for warfare. Trust me, this is a difficult lesson; I
like to check my arsenal each time I leave the house, but we have to
just go about our life like everyone else. If people can't accept that,
F them. Sorry for the implied language; I said I had strong opinions!
Smile.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 1
Date: Mon, 24 Oct 2011 15:22:10 +0000
From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] stranger contact with your child
Message-ID: <AAE38548E198F64B8E345439B68CCC7832EC1142 at TSEAMB02>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

My daughter loves to help or be involved in what I'm doing. It would
upset her greatly if I brushed off the "She must be such a help to you"
comments. Before she could understand language, it probably wouldn't
have mattered. Now though, it would break her heart if she heard me blow
off her helpfulness.

Our children offer a lot.  My daughter has gotten me to care about
dolphins and whales.  I honestly didn't give a rat's behind about either
one until she became interested.  She likes it when I explain math to
her. She understands that sometimes a girl just needs a cute dress and
pair of shoes.  She was a huge comfort when our dog died, more so then
my husband.  She and I share a passion for avaiation. She has gotten me
interested in racecars  Her kindness and level of awareness of people
and situations has at times blown my mind. When I get the "she must help
you a lot" comments, my response is to give her a hug and kiss and say
"She sure does". If somebody is interested in more dtails or needs to
know more, I'll explain.

I really don't much care what a random person thinks. I care far more
that my daughter knows I appreciate and value her.  We all need to feel
that.  My problem with this thread is that it belittles the
contributions our children do make.