[blparent] Stranger contact with your child

[debbie grace]

Hello,
I have to say that I have on occasion felt when someone says that my
childrena are a great help to me, that my first thought was a feeling of
inadequacy.  Then I remember that I am the one teaching them how to help.
Also they are and want to be helpful.  I am having a better conscience about
this situation.  No one can get offended or hurt feelings.
Debbie Grace in Alaska 

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Monday, October 24, 2011 10:47 AM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] Stranger contact with your child

I agree. Sometimes we need to take a deep breath , relax and just let life
happen. People will think, and assume, what they will. We certainly have
opportunities to inform society about the capabilities of the blind, but
personally, though I have strong opinions and feelings on the topic, I get
sick of always living as a "blind" person- meaning I make my life revolve
around one aspect of myself when I choose to focus on this one thing, and
assume the entire world is focused on it. If they are, so be it. As long as
our children are aware of the truth and not the perceptions, or rather
following the truth and not the perceptions, that's all that matters. Our
actions speak louder than words. If we live what we "preach," than our
children will grow up believing we are like everyone else. And society also
has a better chance of changing when they "see" us in action. Talk ends up
being a lot of wasted air and time. Because we're the ones raising our
children, and therefore instilling healthy attitudes about disability, they
probably are not as influenced by how others respond to us. Any child wants
to feel useful and helpful. Depending on how it's phrased, when people tell
a child that they must be a helper, I think it's better to view this
positively.
I've heard sighted parents receive similar compliments, so why not allow the
message to apply as a compliment to children with parents who are blind?
Sometimes we can't excuse behavior and should speak up, but let our children
feel validated. To our children, blindness isn't a big deal, and they
probably don't interpret comments in a negative light. We can't always view
the world with negativity and leave the house each day armed and prepared
for warfare. Trust me, this is a difficult lesson; I like to check my
arsenal each time I leave the house, but we have to just go about our life
like everyone else. If people can't accept that, F them. Sorry for the
implied language; I said I had strong opinions!
Smile.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 1
Date: Mon, 24 Oct 2011 15:22:10 +0000
From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List' <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] stranger contact with your child
Message-ID: <AAE38548E198F64B8E345439B68CCC7832EC1142 at TSEAMB02>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"

My daughter loves to help or be involved in what I'm doing. It would upset
her greatly if I brushed off the "She must be such a help to you"
comments. Before she could understand language, it probably wouldn't have
mattered. Now though, it would break her heart if she heard me blow off her
helpfulness.

Our children offer a lot.  My daughter has gotten me to care about dolphins
and whales.  I honestly didn't give a rat's behind about either one until
she became interested.  She likes it when I explain math to her. She
understands that sometimes a girl just needs a cute dress and pair of shoes.
She was a huge comfort when our dog died, more so then my husband.  She and
I share a passion for avaiation. She has gotten me interested in racecars
Her kindness and level of awareness of people and situations has at times
blown my mind. When I get the "she must help you a lot" comments, my
response is to give her a hug and kiss and say "She sure does". If somebody
is interested in more dtails or needs to know more, I'll explain.

I really don't much care what a random person thinks. I care far more that
my daughter knows I appreciate and value her.  We all need to feel that.  My
problem with this thread is that it belittles the contributions our children
do make.


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