[blparent] Potty time again...

[Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)]

Might she truly not know when she has to go? It took my little one a long time to figure it out. She really didn't know.  I could tell when she "got it" by the tone in her voice and her being distracted but not wanting to admit she had to go potty.

I didn't punish her for having accidents. That seems cruel to me. I would have her help me clean up the messes though.

The timer thing drove me bat s** crazy so I didn't use it. Might this be the source of some of your tention?

There is a lot involved with potty training, the feeling that "Yeah I have to go now" and then timing and also the mechanics of getting to the potty.  I've read that a lot of kids don't really get it until they are around five or so.  I also have a friend who took her son to a chyropractor who said that the kid really couldn't feel when he had to go.  She can't prove that was the problem, but whatever the chyropractor did worked.

Really, I'd suggest you listen to Savanna. Is she pulling away from you, both figuratively and literally before output hits the floor? If she is, then yes, she knows when she needs to go. If she isn't, she doesn't.

Also, know that even when they do get it figured out, they will need to be reminded that going potty is something we all do.  I remember my daughter having an accident right before we left the house one morning. I asked her what was going on and she said without missing a beat "Dora was on tv, Mommy!" like I was the dumb one.  I had to explain to her that no matter how good the tv show is, we all take time to go potty.



-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Pipi
Sent: Wednesday, September 21, 2011 12:29 PM
To: blindparenting at googlegroups.com
Subject: [blparent] Potty time again...

Prepare for a novel...
I'm sure y'all are sick of this topic from me already, but well it's been the toughest thing I've dealt with so far.
Here's where we are now.
A few weeks ago, Savannah ended up wearing a pull up to bed instead of a diaper basically because it was late and I had it upstairs and not a diaper.
Morning came and I thought I'd give it a try. I told Savannah that these were special panties and we don't potty in them. I asked her if she'd like to go potty in the toilet. Much to my complete surprise, she said yes. She had previously been against even trying. She wanted her diapers and nothing else.
I was convinced that she'd happily wear diapers through her teen years if I let her. lol
After my attempt of training her in a week back at the end of June, I haven't pushed at all because she clearly wanted nothing to do with it.
Over the past few weeks she has not worn a diaper at all. I put her in panties at home and pull ups when we are out and most of the time at night.
In the beginning Savannah was really into going potty. She had lots of accidents, but she was trying.
She has gotten better and yesterday was actually our 2nd potty free accident day in a row.
Poop is another story. She'll go in the toilet if I'm lucky enough to get her there at the right time. Otherwise she'll go in her panties or pull up.
My concerns are that Savannah is still not telling me when she has to go potty. I'm still setting an alarm and telling her it's time to go. I thought by now that would change a bit.
She has told me that she has to go potty after she goes, but that's it.
My other concern is that Savannah is now starting to tell me that she doesn't want to go potty. She fights that it's time to go. I never wanted it to be a fight for us, but she has been making progress. I gave her diapers away because I made the decision that she wasn't going back into them after the 2 week without them mark.
What do I do? I like the child lead approach, but I also have a strong willed stubborn daughter.
I've talked to my cousin who's son has a similar personality to Savannah's. She did the approach that she's the mom and in charge and it's time to go. She used punishments when he had accidents right after her asking him if he needed to go.
Another parent I talked to made her son clean his poopy underwear one day because it had been months of him going potty in toilet but refusing to poop. That was the last time he pooped in his underwear.
I use a reward system for Savannah. She gets a coin every time she goes in the toilet. I attempted to tell her that if she stayed clean all day, she could buy a lollypop, her choice, with her money.  I've thought about taking a coin away every time she has an accident.
Honestly I don't really know what to do at this point. I know everyone here takes a different approach and I guess that is what I'm looking for. I want to hear how everyone handled the horrible task of potty training because I'm not really sure where to do from here.
Pipi
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