[blparent] Potty time again...

[Nikki Fugett-Dobens]

Hi.  I know exactly how you're feeling as far as having a strong-willed 
child.  Mackenzie turned 3 in July, and once, when she was 18 months, she 
peed on the potty.  After that, she wanted nothing to do with it for over a 
year.  When I would try to have her sit on the potty, she would throw 
herself on the floor.
Then, when she started pre school, eventually, she would usethe potty all 
day at school, but never at home.  She said that she was a baby, and could 
only use the potty at school.  You know the logic little ones have! :)
However, just recently, she came home, and told me she wanted to wear big 
girl panties.  We had put a pair of princess underware on, and that seemed 
to help motivate her.
She is getting to the point now that she will actually just go to the potty 
when she has to go, but we still have days of difficulty.  I know, however, 
that she is ready.  I think I got caught up in the trap of worrying too 
much, because I would hear other children being potty trained by the age of 
2.  Sometimes, that happens, but if it doesn't, and they're a little older, 
it's ok.  When they're 10, no one is going to care when they were potty 
trained.  I think, in Mackenzie's case, she just saw other kids her age she 
plays with in church and school using the potty, and she wanted her own 
independence.
I guess what I have learned is that she really will go consistently when 
she's ready.  Of course, there will still be an accident now and then, but I 
personally don't believe in punishing them.  I always tell Mackenzie it's 
ok, and that it's good that she tried to get there in time.
I hope this helps!
Nikki

-----Original Message----- 
From: Pipi
Sent: Wednesday, September 21, 2011 12:29 PM
To: blindparenting at googlegroups.com
Subject: [blparent] Potty time again...

Prepare for a novel...
I'm sure y'all are sick of this topic from me already, but well it's been 
the toughest thing I've dealt with so far.
Here's where we are now.
A few weeks ago, Savannah ended up wearing a pull up to bed instead of a 
diaper basically because it was late and I had it upstairs and not a diaper.
Morning came and I thought I'd give it a try. I told Savannah that these 
were special panties and we don't potty in them. I asked her if she'd like 
to go potty in the toilet. Much to my complete surprise, she said yes. She 
had previously been against even trying. She wanted her diapers and nothing 
else.
I was convinced that she'd happily wear diapers through her teen years if I 
let her. lol
After my attempt of training her in a week back at the end of June, I 
haven't pushed at all because she clearly wanted nothing to do with it.
Over the past few weeks she has not worn a diaper at all. I put her in 
panties at home and pull ups when we are out and most of the time at night.
In the beginning Savannah was really into going potty. She had lots of 
accidents, but she was trying.
She has gotten better and yesterday was actually our 2nd potty free accident 
day in a row.
Poop is another story. She'll go in the toilet if I'm lucky enough to get 
her there at the right time. Otherwise she'll go in her panties or pull up.
My concerns are that Savannah is still not telling me when she has to go 
potty. I'm still setting an alarm and telling her it's time to go. I thought 
by now that would change a bit.
She has told me that she has to go potty after she goes, but that's it.
My other concern is that Savannah is now starting to tell me that she 
doesn't want to go potty. She fights that it's time to go. I never wanted it 
to be a fight for us, but she has been making progress. I gave her diapers 
away because I made the decision that she wasn't going back into them after 
the 2 week without them mark.
What do I do? I like the child lead approach, but I also have a strong 
willed stubborn daughter.
I've talked to my cousin who's son has a similar personality to Savannah's. 
She did the approach that she's the mom and in charge and it's time to go. 
She used punishments when he had accidents right after her asking him if he 
needed to go.
Another parent I talked to made her son clean his poopy underwear one day 
because it had been months of him going potty in toilet but refusing to 
poop. That was the last time he pooped in his underwear.
I use a reward system for Savannah. She gets a coin every time she goes in 
the toilet. I attempted to tell her that if she stayed clean all day, she 
could buy a lollypop, her choice, with her money.  I've thought about taking 
a coin away every time she has an accident.
Honestly I don't really know what to do at this point. I know everyone here 
takes a different approach and I guess that is what I'm looking for. I want 
to hear how everyone handled the horrible task of potty training because I'm 
not really sure where to do from here.
Pipi
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