[blparent] Potty time again...

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Pippi,

I understand your frustration. Pen is only 22 months, but we've been
working on this for a few months now. She likes to sit on her potty
chair, and we've caught her relaxing on the potty chair, reading a book.
Not with the intention of actually using the chair for its purpose, but
because she finds it a nice place to read. Well, she has part of it
right bringing in reading material. LOL

She knows how to say pee and poopy and understands what these words
mean, but she too isn't telling us when she has to go. She inform us
after the fact, but not before. I know she's still a bit young, but we
want to introduce the concept at least.

When we started, my mom suggested we have her sit for at least one
minute on the potty chair immediately when waking up from naps and
bedtime and when we change her. We've done this even when we didn't want
to take the time, but figured it has to be consistent. We even say,
"Let's go sit on the potty," to which Pen answers by running into the
bathroom ahead of us to sit.

After observing her cousin, who's a year older, use the potty, Pen
decided this might be something she'd be into. I thought, finally, the
light bulb has gone off, but after a day, the switch was turned off.

She's taken to going into a squatting position when she has to poop, so
when we catch her in this pose, we go to the potty chair as quickly as
possible, but with both my husband and me being blind, we don't always
catch this in time. During bathtime this past weekend, I caught her in
the squat, and Pen looked up at me saying, "Uh-oh, poopy." So I picked
her up and placed her on the potty. A couple of nuggets were released
into the tub, but she did use the potty this time. Of course she wanted
back in the tub, but I said, "No poo bath for Pen."

So I could clean up, I sent her out of the bathroom with diaper in hand
so my husband could put it on, but she ran back in. I asked if she had
to go more, and she said, "More." Before I could get her on the potty,
though, she peed on the bathroom floor. We don't make a big deal out of
this, and we don't punish her for it, but we do explain how you have to
potty inside the chair. Following my mom's suggestion too, we let her
help clean the mess up, of course washing up afterwards.

So we're randomly asking if she has to go potty now along with sitting
her on the chair when changing and waking up from sleep. Pen's still not
wanting to do it on her own volition.

Since she's still young, not even quite two yet, it's not a pressing
issue. According to my mom, doctor and own experience, until she's
three, if she's not potty-trained, it's not the end of the world, but by
three, they should be at a point where using potty is a natural
conclusion.

And of course, kids learn in different ways and at different times. My
nephew literally potty-trained himself at age two. He just started using
the toilet one day, no exaggeration. My sister wasn't sure how he
figured it out, but he also was using complete sentences by two and a
half, so go figure. Her two daughters weren't quite as easy, but still
caught onto the potty thing relatively quickly. I try to not use them as
a measuring stick, but it's hard not to.

I think the coin thing is a good idea, but I don't know about the
punishment idea. I guess it depends on the age, but you don't want to
traumatize kids or have negative ideas associated with going the
bathroom or using a potty chair. What seems logical to adults may not be
so for children, and vice versus. My mom use to watch a brother and
sister years ago. The little girl was having problems with not using a
toilet and going in her pants. She was four or five, and should have
been potty-trained, but something was not quite getting through. When
she had to go number two in particular, she was literally terrified to
go. My mom discovered that at home, she was spanked if she went in her
pants. Instead of teaching her to go, though, she only became more
fearful. It turns out, she was holding it until it became painful to
pass. So she ended up with two negative associations about using the
bathroom. Not that this is the status quo, but I still think negative
reinforcement when potty-training is not a great idea. They're children-
not dogs. And in some circumstances, a medical, or psychological,
problem may be at the heart of the problem.

I wouldn't be too worried though. That your daughter grasps it on some
level is a good sign. At this point, I say keep reiterating stuff,
frequently ask if she needs to use the potty, and have her sit on it
when changing or even after meals. From what I observe, this can be a
long process for some. And I hear all the time, just when you're ready
to throw the towel in, they get it, like nothing in the world is easier.
Hopefully this is the case for you and me! *smile*

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 21
Date: Wed, 21 Sep 2011 11:29:19 -0500
From: "Pipi" <blahblahblah0822 at gmail.com>
To: <blindparenting at googlegroups.com>
Subject: [blparent] Potty time again...
Message-ID: <ACA9686F648746D0B2888498889058B9 at BLAHBLAHBLAH>
Content-Type: text/plain;	charset="iso-8859-1"

Prepare for a novel...
I'm sure y'all are sick of this topic from me already, but well it's
been the toughest thing I've dealt with so far. 
Here's where we are now.
A few weeks ago, Savannah ended up wearing a pull up to bed instead of a
diaper basically because it was late and I had it upstairs and not a
diaper. Morning came and I thought I'd give it a try. I told Savannah
that these were special panties and we don't potty in them. I asked her
if she'd like to go potty in the toilet. Much to my complete surprise,
she said yes. She had previously been against even trying. She wanted
her diapers and nothing else. 
I was convinced that she'd happily wear diapers through her teen years
if I let her. lol After my attempt of training her in a week back at the
end of June, I haven't pushed at all because she clearly wanted nothing
to do with it. Over the past few weeks she has not worn a diaper at all.
I put her in panties at home and pull ups when we are out and most of
the time at night. 
In the beginning Savannah was really into going potty. She had lots of
accidents, but she was trying. 
She has gotten better and yesterday was actually our 2nd potty free
accident day in a row. 
Poop is another story. She'll go in the toilet if I'm lucky enough to
get her there at the right time. Otherwise she'll go in her panties or
pull up. My concerns are that Savannah is still not telling me when she
has to go potty. I'm still setting an alarm and telling her it's time to
go. I thought by now that would change a bit. She has told me that she
has to go potty after she goes, but that's it. My other concern is that
Savannah is now starting to tell me that she doesn't want to go potty.
She fights that it's time to go. I never wanted it to be a fight for us,
but she has been making progress. I gave her diapers away because I made
the decision that she wasn't going back into them after the 2 week
without them mark. 
What do I do? I like the child lead approach, but I also have a strong
willed stubborn daughter. I've talked to my cousin who's son has a
similar personality to Savannah's. She did the approach that she's the
mom and in charge and it's time to go. She used punishments when he had
accidents right after her asking him if he needed to go. 
Another parent I talked to made her son clean his poopy underwear one
day because it had been months of him going potty in toilet but refusing
to poop. That was the last time he pooped in his underwear. I use a
reward system for Savannah. She gets a coin every time she goes in the
toilet. I attempted to tell her that if she stayed clean all day, she
could buy a lollypop, her choice, with her money.  I've thought about
taking a coin away every time she has an accident. 
Honestly I don't really know what to do at this point. I know everyone
here takes a different approach and I guess that is what I'm looking
for. I want to hear how everyone handled the horrible task of potty
training because I'm not really sure where to do from here. Pipi