[blparent] Advice on playing with cane

Thu Sep 29 20:09:24 UTC 2011

Hello,
This is a great topic.  We solved this problem by getting our son, and now
we've passed it on to his sister, his own child sized cane to use.  He
absolutely loved it when he was between 1 and 3, and now Oriana is starting
to use and love it as well.  We see this as our kids wanting to immitate
what they see.  They see daddy, (and mommy sometimes, although I use a dog
most of the time) using our canes, and they want to copy us...  just as
toddlers want to copy sweeping with a broom, folding laundry, cooking,
talking on the phone, typing on the computer, etc.  With his own cane,
Austin was able to play with the cane appropriately, and he loved going on
walks with us when we all used our canes.  (Yes, I'm sure our neighbors are
a little confused as to why he was using one, but that's fine with me.)  He,
like your daughter, almost always used the cane correctly--although he loved
to chew on the top when he was teething--and he would also use sticks and
other things as canes when the cane wasn't with us or handy.  Oriana is
starting to do exactly the same thing.  Austin outgrew this, for the most
part, by about three, but now he loves to hand Oriana the little cane and
watch her use it.  
	A couple of things to consider...  I think it's probably safer for
her to have her own cane to take and use than trying to cane with you,
unless you guys have a really good technique you've developed that's
comfortable for all of you.  Secondly, I wouldn't look at this as her trying
to help lead you around.  She is copying what she sees you do, and it seems
as if she knows that you use your canes when you go for walks.  I see this
as very different than her trying to lead you around sighted guide; it's a
different kind of helping.  If she's trying to lead you sighted guide, then
she's more in control so to speak.  If she's helping you cane, then you and
she are moving the cane and using it to explore your environment together.
	As for the cane itself...  Even kid's canes can be expensive.  We
were lucky enough to find one, from a local cane bank, I think, that no one
wanted anymore.  You could also find a short broom handle, smooth stick, or
something else and designate that as her cane.
	I'm glad to hear our kids are not the only ones who think canes are
so cool.
Melissa

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Thursday, September 29, 2011 3:25 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] Advice on playing with cane

Penny likes to play with my husband and mines white canes. We usually
keep them in the corner by the door. At home, she tends to leave them
alone until we go bye-bye. She'll run to the door, grab the canes and
hand them to us, or hand one to one of us and keep the other. Outside or
at stores, though, she likes to use one by herself or "help" one of us
cane.

She's not actually trying to help us, but just wants to cane. She's uses
proper cane technique and rarely uses the cane in an inappropriate way
like swinging it around. I use a 63 inch cane, and Ross uses a 65 inch
cane, so they're pretty long for a two-year-old, though Pen is tall for
her age.

When at the park or on walks, Pen finds the biggest stick or branch she
can and uses it as her cane. She even knows it is called a cane and uses
the word when referring to the canes. While grandma and grandpa watched
her one night, grandpa was going to take for a ride to get some ice
cream. When they were leaving, she put her sunglasses on, grabbed a play
flute my mom has, said, "Cane" and walked to the door tapping the flute
shoulder-to-shoulder.

My question is this: How do I balance her growing independence and
curiosity while keeping myself safe and not introducing ideas like mommy
and daddy need extra help? I don't want her inundated with these ideas,
that blind people require assistance, but I don't want her thinking
she's doing something wrong when she canes.

We've explained, as best you can to a two-year-old, that the cane isn't
a toy, and obviously she sees us use them, but I know this can be a fine
balance.

When my nephew was her age, I was just starting to lose my vision.
Caiden naturally started trying to act as a sighted guide when we were
outdoors or at restaurants. It was cute, but I also didn't seriously
rely on a toddler as sighted guide. However, allowing him to hold my
hand and try to lead me around ended up with adverse effects. He's now
seven and still thinks he should help me. We've had discussions about
this, and being older, he's comprehending that he doesn't have to help
Bridgey and Ross around. Nonetheless, he ended up engrained with the
perception that blind people require extra help often.

So I don't want Pen inadvertently picking up bad concepts. Just
wondering if anyone else has dealt with this situation.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/

"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

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