[blparent] Advice on playing with cane

Thu Sep 29 21:54:13 UTC 2011

I complete agree with many of the things Melissa has mentioned.

I purchased Erik his own size cane last convention. Well, the cane was
25 inches and so was he. Seriously, since the little guy has been four
months old, he likes to twist in his carrier and grab my cane. Now
that he is seven months old, he grabs and hangs on really tight--even
if I am actually using my cane to walk. When he was younger, he'd grab
my cane when I was stanind in line waiting for the train. My cane
would be vertical and against my shoulder or in the crook of my elbow.
He thought that it was his to grab on to. Now, he tries to move it
side to side. The funny thing is he's strapped into a front carrier,
twisted around trying to help mommy use her cane.

He loves his cane. Right now, it is a great chewing toy. However, when
he is lying on his back, he takes the cane and taps it all around him.
I think he likes the noise it makes when it smacks against carpet or
his play mat.

I'm positive that when he starts walking he'll want to use his cane to
walk. In fact, I'm wondering if we need to get dad a cane so he fits
in with the rest of his family if we go on a walk.

LM

On 9/29/11, Buresh, Amy <amy.buresh at nebraska.gov> wrote:
> We had a similar experience with our son Noah. When he was a toddler, he'd
> often take his little can with him and proudly show it off. He'd cry if he
> didn't have it with him sometimes. His cane technique was very good. He,
> like all children love to immitate their parents or care-takers.
>
> Bridgit, it sounds to me as if you are handling the situation with your
> niece just fine.
>
> Amy
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Melissa Ann Riccobono
> Sent: Thursday, September 29, 2011 3:09 PM
> To: 'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Advice on playing with cane
>
> Hello,
> This is a great topic.  We solved this problem by getting our son, and now
> we've passed it on to his sister, his own child sized cane to use.  He
> absolutely loved it when he was between 1 and 3, and now Oriana is starting
> to use and love it as well.  We see this as our kids wanting to immitate
> what they see.  They see daddy, (and mommy sometimes, although I use a dog
> most of the time) using our canes, and they want to copy us...  just as
> toddlers want to copy sweeping with a broom, folding laundry, cooking,
> talking on the phone, typing on the computer, etc.  With his own cane,
> Austin was able to play with the cane appropriately, and he loved going on
> walks with us when we all used our canes.  (Yes, I'm sure our neighbors are
> a little confused as to why he was using one, but that's fine with me.)  He,
> like your daughter, almost always used the cane correctly--although he loved
> to chew on the top when he was teething--and he would also use sticks and
> other things as canes when the cane wasn't with us or handy.  Oriana is
> starting to do exactly the same thing.  Austin outgrew this, for the most
> part, by about three, but now he loves to hand Oriana the little cane and
> watch her use it.
> 	A couple of things to consider...  I think it's probably safer for
> her to have her own cane to take and use than trying to cane with you,
> unless you guys have a really good technique you've developed that's
> comfortable for all of you.  Secondly, I wouldn't look at this as her trying
> to help lead you around.  She is copying what she sees you do, and it seems
> as if she knows that you use your canes when you go for walks.  I see this
> as very different than her trying to lead you around sighted guide; it's a
> different kind of helping.  If she's trying to lead you sighted guide, then
> she's more in control so to speak.  If she's helping you cane, then you and
> she are moving the cane and using it to explore your environment together.
> 	As for the cane itself...  Even kid's canes can be expensive.  We
> were lucky enough to find one, from a local cane bank, I think, that no one
> wanted anymore.  You could also find a short broom handle, smooth stick, or
> something else and designate that as her cane.
> 	I'm glad to hear our kids are not the only ones who think canes are
> so cool.
> Melissa
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
> Sent: Thursday, September 29, 2011 3:25 PM
> To: blparent at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [blparent] Advice on playing with cane
>
> Penny likes to play with my husband and mines white canes. We usually
> keep them in the corner by the door. At home, she tends to leave them
> alone until we go bye-bye. She'll run to the door, grab the canes and
> hand them to us, or hand one to one of us and keep the other. Outside or
> at stores, though, she likes to use one by herself or "help" one of us
> cane.
>
> She's not actually trying to help us, but just wants to cane. She's uses
> proper cane technique and rarely uses the cane in an inappropriate way
> like swinging it around. I use a 63 inch cane, and Ross uses a 65 inch
> cane, so they're pretty long for a two-year-old, though Pen is tall for
> her age.
>
> When at the park or on walks, Pen finds the biggest stick or branch she
> can and uses it as her cane. She even knows it is called a cane and uses
> the word when referring to the canes. While grandma and grandpa watched
> her one night, grandpa was going to take for a ride to get some ice
> cream. When they were leaving, she put her sunglasses on, grabbed a play
> flute my mom has, said, "Cane" and walked to the door tapping the flute
> shoulder-to-shoulder.
>
> My question is this: How do I balance her growing independence and
> curiosity while keeping myself safe and not introducing ideas like mommy
> and daddy need extra help? I don't want her inundated with these ideas,
> that blind people require assistance, but I don't want her thinking
> she's doing something wrong when she canes.
>
> We've explained, as best you can to a two-year-old, that the cane isn't
> a toy, and obviously she sees us use them, but I know this can be a fine
> balance.
>
> When my nephew was her age, I was just starting to lose my vision.
> Caiden naturally started trying to act as a sighted guide when we were
> outdoors or at restaurants. It was cute, but I also didn't seriously
> rely on a toddler as sighted guide. However, allowing him to hold my
> hand and try to lead me around ended up with adverse effects. He's now
> seven and still thinks he should help me. We've had discussions about
> this, and being older, he's comprehending that he doesn't have to help
> Bridgey and Ross around. Nonetheless, he ended up engrained with the
> perception that blind people require extra help often.
>
> So I don't want Pen inadvertently picking up bad concepts. Just
> wondering if anyone else has dealt with this situation.
>
> Sincerely,
> Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
> Read my blog at:
> http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
>
> "History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
> The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan
>
>
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