[blparent] Advice on playing with cane

[Veronica Smith]

Briget, Gab used to do the same things as your little one, but over the
years has grown out of it.  the more she sees you and your husband manage
without help, the stronger the concept will be.  Mom and dad use the cane to
see, I have good eyes, I can see what they feel.  She is 2 and there is
nothing wrong with wanting to be like mom and dad.
Your nephew is 7 and he too will get over the idea of needing to help you.
The more you walk and talk to them, the better it gets.
Gab is almost 12 and never thinks that mom needs help.  It's old hat, now
her friends, well that's another story.  But the one's we hang with most
often, they too see me as gab's mom, nothing more, nothing less.
V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
Sent: Thursday, September 29, 2011 1:25 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] Advice on playing with cane

Penny likes to play with my husband and mines white canes. We usually
keep them in the corner by the door. At home, she tends to leave them
alone until we go bye-bye. She'll run to the door, grab the canes and
hand them to us, or hand one to one of us and keep the other. Outside or
at stores, though, she likes to use one by herself or "help" one of us
cane.

She's not actually trying to help us, but just wants to cane. She's uses
proper cane technique and rarely uses the cane in an inappropriate way
like swinging it around. I use a 63 inch cane, and Ross uses a 65 inch
cane, so they're pretty long for a two-year-old, though Pen is tall for
her age.

When at the park or on walks, Pen finds the biggest stick or branch she
can and uses it as her cane. She even knows it is called a cane and uses
the word when referring to the canes. While grandma and grandpa watched
her one night, grandpa was going to take for a ride to get some ice
cream. When they were leaving, she put her sunglasses on, grabbed a play
flute my mom has, said, "Cane" and walked to the door tapping the flute
shoulder-to-shoulder.

My question is this: How do I balance her growing independence and
curiosity while keeping myself safe and not introducing ideas like mommy
and daddy need extra help? I don't want her inundated with these ideas,
that blind people require assistance, but I don't want her thinking
she's doing something wrong when she canes.

We've explained, as best you can to a two-year-old, that the cane isn't
a toy, and obviously she sees us use them, but I know this can be a fine
balance.

When my nephew was her age, I was just starting to lose my vision.
Caiden naturally started trying to act as a sighted guide when we were
outdoors or at restaurants. It was cute, but I also didn't seriously
rely on a toddler as sighted guide. However, allowing him to hold my
hand and try to lead me around ended up with adverse effects. He's now
seven and still thinks he should help me. We've had discussions about
this, and being older, he's comprehending that he doesn't have to help
Bridgey and Ross around. Nonetheless, he ended up engrained with the
perception that blind people require extra help often.

So I don't want Pen inadvertently picking up bad concepts. Just
wondering if anyone else has dealt with this situation.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan


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