[blparent] Forgiveness

[Eileen Levin]

Hi Nicky,
This mesage makes me so incredibly sad.  Your message was a perfedctly valid message though I believe not for the reasons it was posted. Also, just as parents cannot be 100% responsible for the actions of our children, there is no way you can take responsibility for the behavior of people on this list.

My personal take on  your last two posts is that you were really asking for support and validation as a blind parent. The support and validation you were not getting from your father or  the community around you. The BLParent list is here to provide just that kind of support to parents struggling to gain authority and respect in their communities , households and with their own children.  Is respect and authority an easy thing to gather around ones self? No it takes a great deal of time and we make mistakes along the way. 

I'm 44 years old.  Two quick tricks that I've found make one more  believeable to others are 

1. Keep emotions under control. Don't show the other side that  you are about to explode or cry or whatever. Setting emotions aside and listening to what others have to say makes the other person feel like they have communicated  their message. Repeating the message back to that person helps both sides feel like communication has taken place. Now what I do with that information or what I do with the prescriptions that my doctor writes, or how I get my child to finish the homework the teacher gives out is my own business. In a lot of cases I ignore the helpful advise, never administer the drug and I teach my child a different way of completing the homework than his teacher prescribed.

2. I make a plan for success. I keep my options open. After I've  listened to what people have to say I do my own research on the internet, maybe post to the parenting lists, talk to other mothers. Then I decide on a course of action and try it out. Some times it works and some times my great and glorious plans turn out to be a total flop. So then I try to come up with a plan B. And a plan C. And a plan D...  Until either my child grows out of whatever phase he is going through or I find a solution that works. 

I'm truly sorry you feel that you cannot come to this list for information and ideas.  I get a little tired of diapers and bottles myself, but in general it is helpful to know that I am not alone in the problems that I face as a blind parent.
Eileen



 -----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Nikki
Sent: Sunday, April 01, 2012 1:20 AM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] Forgiveness

    I’m truly sorry if I’ve started a war on this list. Please know that wasn’t my intention. I found some old private conversations I had with Debbie, read through some of my questions, and thought, wow, my situation isn’t exactly blind related. I’ve realized that in my case, I can’t relate to you. I regret throwing my last post and turning some noses up. Please forgive me for I have forgiven those with the snotty comments. No hard ffeelings to you. I need to vent on God more. I do appreciate the positivity and resources that were given to me, in the past. For those that said they don’t care to read my posts, don’t worry because after this, I am done. 
Blessings, Nikki 
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