[blparent] introduction, expecting

Sat Aug 11 22:29:11 UTC 2012

Oh I apologize to anyone I offended, I didn't mean that individual messages 
were scary, but all the messages about getting the baby taken away adding up 
could be scary!!  Yes you should be prepared and a lot of good advice is 
given on this list ... Generally all does go well and you and baby will be 
home and cozy before you know it ... But it is always great to be prepared 
just in case you run into the ignorant people who don't think you could 
possibly care for an infant.  Once again, wasn't criticizing anyone's 
message or anyone just trying to throw some reassurance out there, sorry 
list.

-----Original Message----- 
From: Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Saturday, August 11, 2012 4:26 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] introduction, expecting

Tatyana, I didn't write my message to try and scare you.  I think Bernadetta
made a good post as well.  Usually everything works out fine in the
hospital, but you need to be prepared for questions on how you will care for
your baby, and possibly some doubts from the staff.  Overall, I had an
awesome hospital experience, and there's no reason you shouldn't expect to
have the same.

Jo Elizabeth

I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's
brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and
died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
-----Original Message----- 
From: Bernadetta Pracon
Sent: Saturday, August 11, 2012 3:07 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [blparent] introduction, expecting

Tatyana,
First of all, Congratulations on your new little one. Do you know what
you're having?
I am a relatively new mommy too. My baby boy was born almost six months
ago, so I thought I'd share my experiences with you. Prior to having a
baby, I didn't really have much experience with caring for small
children. I became terribly nervous when I was expecting, because it
was drummed into my mind that taking care of an infant is hard work,
and on top of that I'm blind, so it must be twice as hard. I thought
I'd be scared to bring my little one up and down the stairs at my home
for example, thought I would never learn how to change him properly, or
feed him for that matter. I thought I'd be carrying him around in a
front pack forever because I'd be afraid to accidentally bump him into
a wall while walking or something. Fast-forward six months, and guess
what, I haven't even used my front pack. Not once. And I've become a
pro with my little one, as has my boyfriend/partner. So far, my baby
has not incurred any injuries, not even minor ones.
I wanted to take  all of the classes offered by the hospital that Jo
Elizabeth mentioned, but the hospital I chose to give birth at was not
easy to get to on my own and I didnt' have the best transportation
system in place at the time. So I didn't end up taking advantage of
them. However, when I got there, I was confident and willing to learn
everything I needed to in order to safely care for my son. My partner
who is also blind was equally prepared to learn how to be responsible
for our child. When we were asked by nurses and doctors about how we
would provide for our child, we told them, patiently and confidently
that we, like any other couple with a small baby, would probably
require some help and that we had my family nearby if we needed them.
The only person at the hospital who got under my skin was the social
worker assigned to us: She was like a cross examiner, and for a social
worker, quite ignorant. She insisted on asking idiotic questions like,
how would we know if the baby had a poopy diaper, and she made it
obvious that in her mind, two blind people shouldn't live alone with a
baby. We assured her that we were going to be fine, and because we made
a solid case for ourselves, she had no loophole in which to slip in and
cause trouble. It may have also been helpful that my mom, who was in
the hospital with us for the birth (per my request) and then to visit
the baby, assured the staff of the hospital that if we needed her,
she'd help us. That's not overstepping the lines, in my oppinion; Every
new grandma is eager to help with her child's new baby,. Many new
parents, whether blind or sighted seek their own parents assistance
with the baby for a time.
I ended up having a CSection which granted me a few more days at the
hospital. I took advantage of that; I asked the nurses to teach me
about diapering, swaddling, breastfeeding, and bathing my boy. Don't be
nervous about asking them for help, but be sure that at the end of your
hospital stay, you're able to show them that you've retained at least
the basics of baby care. If some nurse is being snooty with you and
seems more willing to berate you for being a blind mom than she is
eager to teach you how to be one, you should feel free to request
assistance from someone else. It's your hospital stay; The hospital
should benefit you in whatever way they can, so don't be  too shy to
ask for help. I was fortunate to have had a great hospital staff aiding
my new family. The nurses and  PCA's, even the doctors were supportive
and seemed eager to give us a chance. But I'll tell you that  they did
feel apprehensive, and had I not displayed my compitance and my
willingness to learn, they would have hesitated to allow the child to
come home with me. You need to be confident. You need to be
sharp-minded and work with the hospital staff. In most cases, they are
just working in your baby's best interest.
Well, that's that. I'm sorry for the long-winded message. i'm rambling.
lol. Anyway, good luck, and if you need anything else, feel free to ask
the list, and since  I've been through all this recently, feel free to
email me off list if you need to talk and get advice, new mom to a
slightly  more seasoned new mom. lol
Good  Luck!!
Bernadetta

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