[blparent] introduction, expecting

[Veronica Smith]

I had the same social worker and when she asked me how I would know if the
diaper was dirty, I calmly said, "how do you know?"  I then followed the
question with, I'm not trying to be rude or hateful, but everyone knows
whether they are sighted or blind when a diaper needs changing.  Honestly,
she didn't question me again!

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Bernadetta Pracon
Sent: Saturday, August 11, 2012 3:07 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [blparent] introduction, expecting

Tatyana,
First of all, Congratulations on your new little one. Do you know what
you're having?
I am a relatively new mommy too. My baby boy was born almost six months ago,
so I thought I'd share my experiences with you. Prior to having a baby, I
didn't really have much experience with caring for small children. I became
terribly nervous when I was expecting, because it was drummed into my mind
that taking care of an infant is hard work, and on top of that I'm blind, so
it must be twice as hard. I thought I'd be scared to bring my little one up
and down the stairs at my home for example, thought I would never learn how
to change him properly, or feed him for that matter. I thought I'd be
carrying him around in a front pack forever because I'd be afraid to
accidentally bump him into a wall while walking or something. Fast-forward
six months, and guess what, I haven't even used my front pack. Not once. And
I've become a pro with my little one, as has my boyfriend/partner. So far,
my baby has not incurred any injuries, not even minor ones.
I wanted to take  all of the classes offered by the hospital that Jo
Elizabeth mentioned, but the hospital I chose to give birth at was not easy
to get to on my own and I didnt' have the best transportation system in
place at the time. So I didn't end up taking advantage of them. However,
when I got there, I was confident and willing to learn everything I needed
to in order to safely care for my son. My partner who is also blind was
equally prepared to learn how to be responsible for our child. When we were
asked by nurses and doctors about how we would provide for our child, we
told them, patiently and confidently that we, like any other couple with a
small baby, would probably require some help and that we had my family
nearby if we needed them.
The only person at the hospital who got under my skin was the social worker
assigned to us: She was like a cross examiner, and for a social worker,
quite ignorant. She insisted on asking idiotic questions like, how would we
know if the baby had a poopy diaper, and she made it obvious that in her
mind, two blind people shouldn't live alone with a baby. We assured her that
we were going to be fine, and because we made a solid case for ourselves,
she had no loophole in which to slip in and cause trouble. It may have also
been helpful that my mom, who was in the hospital with us for the birth (per
my request) and then to visit the baby, assured the staff of the hospital
that if we needed her, she'd help us. That's not overstepping the lines, in
my oppinion; Every new grandma is eager to help with her child's new baby,.
Many new parents, whether blind or sighted seek their own parents assistance
with the baby for a time.
I ended up having a CSection which granted me a few more days at the
hospital. I took advantage of that; I asked the nurses to teach me about
diapering, swaddling, breastfeeding, and bathing my boy. Don't be nervous
about asking them for help, but be sure that at the end of your hospital
stay, you're able to show them that you've retained at least the basics of
baby care. If some nurse is being snooty with you and seems more willing to
berate you for being a blind mom than she is eager to teach you how to be
one, you should feel free to request assistance from someone else. It's your
hospital stay; The hospital should benefit you in whatever way they can, so
don't be  too shy to ask for help. I was fortunate to have had a great
hospital staff aiding my new family. The nurses and  PCA's, even the doctors
were supportive and seemed eager to give us a chance. But I'll tell you that
they did feel apprehensive, and had I not displayed my compitance and my
willingness to learn, they would have hesitated to allow the child to come
home with me. You need to be confident. You need to be sharp-minded and work
with the hospital staff. In most cases, they are just working in your baby's
best interest.
Well, that's that. I'm sorry for the long-winded message. i'm rambling. 
lol. Anyway, good luck, and if you need anything else, feel free to ask the
list, and since  I've been through all this recently, feel free to email me
off list if you need to talk and get advice, new mom to a slightly  more
seasoned new mom. lol Good  Luck!!
Bernadetta

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