[blparent] Bernadetta Re: introduction, expecting

[Marsha Drenth]

Bernadetta, As a soon to be social worker, that frustrates me to no end, of how rude she or he was. I wish I could say that they were all nicer, and educated about blndness, but as we all know all too well, they are not. If I have any thing to say about it, at some point social workers wil be educated on blindness and parenting. Yes i know I am aiming high, but its gotta stop some where. Ok, I won't get on to my soap box now. LOL 

Marsha drenthSent from my iPhone

On Aug 11, 2012, at 5:07 PM, Bernadetta Pracon <bernadetta_pracon at samobile.net> wrote:

> Tatyana,
> First of all, Congratulations on your new little one. Do you know what you're having?
> I am a relatively new mommy too. My baby boy was born almost six months ago, so I thought I'd share my experiences with you. Prior to having a baby, I didn't really have much experience with caring for small children. I became terribly nervous when I was expecting, because it was drummed into my mind that taking care of an infant is hard work, and on top of that I'm blind, so it must be twice as hard. I thought I'd be scared to bring my little one up and down the stairs at my home for example, thought I would never learn how to change him properly, or feed him for that matter. I thought I'd be carrying him around in a front pack forever because I'd be afraid to accidentally bump him into a wall while walking or something. Fast-forward six months, and guess what, I haven't even used my front pack. Not once. And I've become a pro with my little one, as has my boyfriend/partner. So far, my baby has not incurred any injuries, not even minor ones.
> I wanted to take  all of the classes offered by the hospital that Jo Elizabeth mentioned, but the hospital I chose to give birth at was not easy to get to on my own and I didnt' have the best transportation system in place at the time. So I didn't end up taking advantage of them. However, when I got there, I was confident and willing to learn everything I needed to in order to safely care for my son. My partner who is also blind was equally prepared to learn how to be responsible for our child. When we were asked by nurses and doctors about how we would provide for our child, we told them, patiently and confidently that we, like any other couple with a small baby, would probably require some help and that we had my family nearby if we needed them.
> The only person at the hospital who got under my skin was the social worker assigned to us: She was like a cross examiner, and for a social worker, quite ignorant. She insisted on asking idiotic questions like, how would we know if the baby had a poopy diaper, and she made it obvious that in her mind, two blind people shouldn't live alone with a baby. We assured her that we were going to be fine, and because we made a solid case for ourselves, she had no loophole in which to slip in and cause trouble. It may have also been helpful that my mom, who was in the hospital with us for the birth (per my request) and then to visit the baby, assured the staff of the hospital that if we needed her, she'd help us. That's not overstepping the lines, in my oppinion; Every new grandma is eager to help with her child's new baby,. Many new parents, whether blind or sighted seek their own parents assistance with the baby for a time.
> I ended up having a CSection which granted me a few more days at the hospital. I took advantage of that; I asked the nurses to teach me about diapering, swaddling, breastfeeding, and bathing my boy. Don't be nervous about asking them for help, but be sure that at the end of your hospital stay, you're able to show them that you've retained at least the basics of baby care. If some nurse is being snooty with you and seems more willing to berate you for being a blind mom than she is eager to teach you how to be one, you should feel free to request assistance from someone else. It's your hospital stay; The hospital should benefit you in whatever way they can, so don't be  too shy to ask for help. I was fortunate to have had a great hospital staff aiding my new family. The nurses and  PCA's, even the doctors were supportive and seemed eager to give us a chance. But I'll tell you that  they did feel apprehensive, and had I not displayed my compitance and my willingness to learn, they would have hesitated to allow the child to come home with me. You need to be confident. You need to be sharp-minded and work with the hospital staff. In most cases, they are just working in your baby's best interest.
> Well, that's that. I'm sorry for the long-winded message. i'm rambling. lol. Anyway, good luck, and if you need anything else, feel free to ask the list, and since  I've been through all this recently, feel free to email me off list if you need to talk and get advice, new mom to a slightly  more seasoned new mom. lol
> Good  Luck!!
> Bernadetta
> 
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