[blparent] Clarification was Re: Involvement of Child Services(was introduction, expecting)

Tue Aug 14 05:07:01 UTC 2012

Bob, I don't know of a study that has been done, but I'd be willing to bet 
that although far too many blind parents are hassled by Child Protective 
Services, the couples where the father is blind and the mother is sighted 
probably have the fewest doubts cast about them.  As progressive as we like 
to think we are in the new millennium, it is still assumed that mothers will 
do the bulk of the child rearing, and as far as I can tell, it's still 
largely true.  I would guess that the most inquiries are done when both 
parents are blind, and somewhere in the middle are the couples where the 
mother is blind and the father can see.  It would be interesting and 
worthwhile research to conduct.

Jo Elizabeth

I am somehow less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein's 
brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and 
died in cotton fields and sweatshops.--Stephen Jay Gould
-----Original Message----- 
From: Robert Shelton
Sent: Monday, August 13, 2012 9:22 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] Clarification was Re: Involvement of Child 
Services(was introduction, expecting)

Marsha, list.  I've been following this thread with great interest, and some
consternation.

To ground my position, I'm total, and my wife of 42 years is sighted, and
that alone may disqualify us from this discussion.

We had four boys in three states (1972, 1975, 1978, 1983) (TX. TX. TN. MI
respectively), and never got question one from any social worker -- nada --
zip -- nothing.

Now this list is a pretty rich sample of experience, and although it
wouldn't be scientific, it would be interesting to see just how many people
got inquiries of any kind from social services.  It is alarming to me that
this kind of thing may be even more common today than in the past.  As I've
been given to understand, one of the key missions of NFB was to protect
parental rights of the blind.  I know that the fact that in our case, Mom
was sighted, may dramatically change the odds that you get questions from a
social worker, but this just isn't right.  We gave our boys a wonderful,
loving home, but through most of those years, I was a student, and we were
as poor as churchmice, and looked the part.  I'd think that if anyone would
have rated scrutiny from CPS, it would have been us.

Another big factor to consider is the fact that there have been, here in
Texas, a number of high profile cases where CPS dropped the ball tragically
resulting in death or grave injury to children they should have protected.
We've had direct knowledge of cases where CPS was called when a kid showed
up for day care with obvious cigarette burns (how horribly sick is that?)
and CPS did *nothing*.  I understand that CPS is ridiculously overworked
here in Texas, and the courts just love to give kids back to abusive parents
(saves the state money), but at least within my experience, CPS doesn't ask
enough questions, or doesn't question the right people, or if they do,
doesn't act when they need to.

Sorry about the rambling post, but I'm really interested in how many of the
parents on this list have been hassled just because they were blind.  If
this isn't fit for the general list, then mail me off-list --
rshelton1 at gmail.com

Thanks for listening.

--Bob

-----Original Message-----
From: Marsha Drenth [mailto:marsha.drenth at gmail.com]
Sent: Sunday, August 12, 2012 12:17 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] Clarification was Re: Involvement of Child Services (was
introduction, expecting)

Let me clarify here. Social services does take children away from blind
parents for no reason other than their disability. Social services, lawyers,
doctors, nurses, custody evaluators, CPS all need to be educated in
blindness. But I did not mean to imply that no blind parent, or any sighted
parent would not need help. I do not think any parent who is blind should be
a "super blind parent" just for the gratification of showing that they are
independent. When our children are born, unfortunately they are not born
with manuals. And unless a person has hadd experience with children, worked
with them, or taken classes, a new parent is not going to know everything.
As our children grow up, we encounter different situations, one particular
method is not going to work with a child that is 10 compared to when they
were 2 years old. We learn, we grow in our parenting styles, tools, methods,
experiences. I can't say that a blind parent who is confident will always
skip around the social services questions. Nor can I say that a blind
parent who is not confident in their skills willl guarantee questions from
social services.

What I am saying is that social services question our abilities purely just
because we are blind and for no other reason. Its the same way if a parent
is physical disabled or deaf. Those disabilities just as blindness does not
prevent us from taking care of our children, although we will need to use
alternative techniques, just as someone who is deaf, or physically disabled.

Would we say that in the case of the Mikayla baby, that the parents were too
confident? Or that they didn't show enough confidence? or that they would
not have had help, sighted or blind? Or that they were not capable? They
were without their baby for months, Why because the social worker was not
educated.Social services sometimes is going to investigate us, no matter how
well or how bad we as parents are. if they understand, blindness, understand
the alternative techniques we use. If they understand they then have no
reason to question, our abilities.

What I am saying is, it doesn't matter why social services, or CPS gets
involved. its how we go about resolving that parent and child are together,
there are no gaps in skills, and that the child will be safe and taken care
of. Its that we educate those professionals involved.

I know that i never ever want another parent to have to fight to keep their
children, because social services, DSS, or CPS doesn't think because eyes do
not work,  a person can't be  a parent.

your welcome to disagree with me, but real fights do happen out there,
fights that should have not happened.

Marsha drenthSent from my iPhone

On Aug 12, 2012, at 9:46 AM, Bernadetta Pracon
<bernadetta_pracon at samobile.net> wrote:

> Yep; I had a visiting nurse come as well. They did offer me that service,
and I took them up on it for the same reasons Peggy did. She was extremely
helpful. if you're a new parent, you should definitely use that resource if
it's offered to you. I don't care if you're planning on being super mom and
doing it all yourself; Any bit of extra insight, advice or help is a good
thing; don't shun it.
>
> Bernadetta
>
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