[blparent] Clarification was Re: Involvement of Child Services(was introduction, expecting)

Tue Aug 14 11:46:41 UTC 2012

Bob and all, I am totally blind, my ex has partial vision, and we had two 
sons in Chicago born 1983 and 1986. We never had questions from any type of 
child welfare agency. Between 1978 and 2002 I worked as a rehab counselor 
for the blind and visually impaired in Chicago for the state of Illinois so 
occasionally-very occasionally-got calls from medical providers about blind 
moms. As many of you know, I teach a parenting series of courses for Hadley 
where I started in 2002 so I mention this to students when appropriate. I 
found that the times I got calls were when the medical providers were 
concerned about the welfare of the expected baby or newborn. If the mom was 
alone and if she had "an attitude" of hostility or negativity, that seemed 
to generate a question. To those callers I would explain my own situation 
which seemed to relieve the nurse or whomever called to realize that indeed 
blind moms could care for babies, and I would have no idea if there had been 
any follow-up with the new or expectant mom. I tell my students how we 
approach medical providers is very important. They don't see a lot of us, 
and their concern is for that baby. The general public may not know how we 
get dressed in the morning much less how we'd care for a newborn. All they 
may be able to think about is how they themselves would react if suddenbly 
lost vision. I tell my students to answer the questions, be patient and 
remember that the focus will very quickly turn from mom to baby, and that 
baby is a lot more vulnerable than many of us. So, Bob, that is the long 
answer to no, I personally have had no contact with any child welfare 
agency.
Sharon Howerton, Instructor
The Hadley School for the blind
(though this is my home email)
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Robert Shelton" <rshelton1 at gmail.com>
To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Monday, August 13, 2012 10:22 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Clarification was Re: Involvement of Child 
Services(was introduction, expecting)


> Marsha, list.  I've been following this thread with great interest, and 
> some
> consternation.
>
> To ground my position, I'm total, and my wife of 42 years is sighted, and
> that alone may disqualify us from this discussion.
>
> We had four boys in three states (1972, 1975, 1978, 1983) (TX. TX. TN. MI
> respectively), and never got question one from any social worker --  
> nada --
> zip -- nothing.
>
> Now this list is a pretty rich sample of experience, and although it
> wouldn't be scientific, it would be interesting to see just how many 
> people
> got inquiries of any kind from social services.  It is alarming to me that
> this kind of thing may be even more common today than in the past.  As 
> I've
> been given to understand, one of the key missions of NFB was to protect
> parental rights of the blind.  I know that the fact that in our case, Mom
> was sighted, may dramatically change the odds that you get questions from 
> a
> social worker, but this just isn't right.  We gave our boys a wonderful,
> loving home, but through most of those years, I was a student, and we were
> as poor as churchmice, and looked the part.  I'd think that if anyone 
> would
> have rated scrutiny from CPS, it would have been us.
>
> Another big factor to consider is the fact that there have been, here in
> Texas, a number of high profile cases where CPS dropped the ball 
> tragically
> resulting in death or grave injury to children they should have protected.
> We've had direct knowledge of cases where CPS was called when a kid showed
> up for day care with obvious cigarette burns (how horribly sick is that?)
> and CPS did *nothing*.  I understand that CPS is ridiculously overworked
> here in Texas, and the courts just love to give kids back to abusive 
> parents
> (saves the state money), but at least within my experience, CPS doesn't 
> ask
> enough questions, or doesn't question the right people, or if they do,
> doesn't act when they need to.
>
> Sorry about the rambling post, but I'm really interested in how many of 
> the
> parents on this list have been hassled just because they were blind.  If
> this isn't fit for the general list, then mail me off-list --
> rshelton1 at gmail.com
>
> Thanks for listening.
>
> --Bob
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Marsha Drenth [mailto:marsha.drenth at gmail.com]
> Sent: Sunday, August 12, 2012 12:17 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: [blparent] Clarification was Re: Involvement of Child Services 
> (was
> introduction, expecting)
>
> Let me clarify here. Social services does take children away from blind
> parents for no reason other than their disability. Social services, 
> lawyers,
> doctors, nurses, custody evaluators, CPS all need to be educated in
> blindness. But I did not mean to imply that no blind parent, or any 
> sighted
> parent would not need help. I do not think any parent who is blind should 
> be
> a "super blind parent" just for the gratification of showing that they are
> independent. When our children are born, unfortunately they are not born
> with manuals. And unless a person has hadd experience with children, 
> worked
> with them, or taken classes, a new parent is not going to know everything.
> As our children grow up, we encounter different situations, one particular
> method is not going to work with a child that is 10 compared to when they
> were 2 years old. We learn, we grow in our parenting styles, tools, 
> methods,
> experiences. I can't say that a blind parent who is confident will always
> skip around the social services questions. Nor can I say that a blind
> parent who is not confident in their skills willl guarantee questions from
> social services.
>
> What I am saying is that social services question our abilities purely 
> just
> because we are blind and for no other reason. Its the same way if a parent
> is physical disabled or deaf. Those disabilities just as blindness does 
> not
> prevent us from taking care of our children, although we will need to use
> alternative techniques, just as someone who is deaf, or physically 
> disabled.
>
>
> Would we say that in the case of the Mikayla baby, that the parents were 
> too
> confident? Or that they didn't show enough confidence? or that they would
> not have had help, sighted or blind? Or that they were not capable? They
> were without their baby for months, Why because the social worker was not
> educated.Social services sometimes is going to investigate us, no matter 
> how
> well or how bad we as parents are. if they understand, blindness, 
> understand
> the alternative techniques we use. If they understand they then have no
> reason to question, our abilities.
>
> What I am saying is, it doesn't matter why social services, or CPS gets
> involved. its how we go about resolving that parent and child are 
> together,
> there are no gaps in skills, and that the child will be safe and taken 
> care
> of. Its that we educate those professionals involved.
>
>
> I know that i never ever want another parent to have to fight to keep 
> their
> children, because social services, DSS, or CPS doesn't think because eyes 
> do
> not work,  a person can't be  a parent.
>
> your welcome to disagree with me, but real fights do happen out there,
> fights that should have not happened.
>
>
>
> Marsha drenthSent from my iPhone
>
> On Aug 12, 2012, at 9:46 AM, Bernadetta Pracon
> <bernadetta_pracon at samobile.net> wrote:
>
>> Yep; I had a visiting nurse come as well. They did offer me that service,
> and I took them up on it for the same reasons Peggy did. She was extremely
> helpful. if you're a new parent, you should definitely use that resource 
> if
> it's offered to you. I don't care if you're planning on being super mom 
> and
> doing it all yourself; Any bit of extra insight, advice or help is a good
> thing; don't shun it.
>>
>> Bernadetta
>>
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