[blparent] Involvement of Child Services (was introduction, expecting)

Tue Aug 14 15:54:19 UTC 2012

Hi,

For the record, my boyfriend and I were not hesitant to ask for help
when we needed it. we learned a lot from hospital staff during our
stay, and they saw us succeed at and struggle with certain things. In
particular, I had difficulties with breastfeeding that never were
truly resolved until a visit from a lactation counselor. But the
hospital staff did not see any of these things as unique to us because
of our blindness. We are both totally blind.

I certainly don't mean to imply that people should not take
precautions that they feel are appropriate in their circumstances. I
was just pointing out that the hospital's request to have a "sitter"
in the room didn't seem logical to me, unless it was their policy to
always have someone in the room when neither of the parents was able
to visually observe the child.

Again, sorry if my message offended anyone.

On 8/14/12, Tammy <tcl189 at rogers.com> wrote:
> Hi,
>
> I was wondering that myself.  Sometimes I think social workers will say
> anything to get what they want, and although in your case it might not have
>
> been a bad decision, I see it as a bit of arm-twisting and using scare
> tactics because they want you to have a sitter or any other thing they might
>
> want you to have.  The saying give them an inch and they'll take a mile is
> appropriate here, and I'd be very careful to get them out of your lives
> asap.  I had them involved with me and my son when I was a single parent 6
> years ago and they basically tried to take control of my life to the point
> where they questioned my ability to make relationship choices etc which was
>
> really none of their business, and I told them that.  I don't know if it's
> the same in the us as it is here but here our child protection organizations
>
> get drunk on power and will take it whereever they can, and will use scared
>
> new parents, not just blind ones, although having a disability is a very big
>
> reason in their minds to take a child from the hospital.  This is so much
> the case that the hospitals have made it illegal for outside social  workers
>
> to enter unless requested by a doctor or hospital social worker.  I actually
>
> had my doctor put it in my chart when I had my baby that I wasn't allowing
> any social workers in my room, not even the hospital one, although she said
>
> he probably wouldn't have needed to see me anyway.  Most of the time social
>
> workers are power-hungry maniacs who use buzz-words and phraises to rip
> apart families who are too scared or too imtimidated to do a thing about it,
>
> while just down the road is a bunch of hungry kids trying to wake a drugged
>
> mother or father up so they can eat.
>
> Tammy
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Angie Matney
> Sent: Tuesday, August 14, 2012 8:42 AM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] Involvement of Child Services (was
> introduction,expecting)
>
> Hi Jodie,
>
> Interesting. The hospital where Jacob was born encourages rooming-in.
> No one ever suggested to us that we needed someone to be there when we
> were alone with our baby. If they had, I might have been concerned
> about what they thought we would do when we got home, as it would be
> impractical for someone to be wiht us 24/7.
>
> Did your hospital require someone to be in the room with sighted
> parents when both were sleeping? After all, if both parents were
> asleep, they wouldn't notice if a baby turned blue.
>
> Best,
>
> Angie
>
>
>
> On 8/14/12, Jodie and Kahlan <xandir at samobile.net> wrote:
>> Great post, Bernadetta! Chris and I have been involved with social
>> workers voluntarily since before Kahlan was born. They, and our
>> families, helped us learn the skills we needed to become good parents.
>> Neither of us had any idea how to change a diaper before Kahlan was
>> born. People at the hospital when she was born were also great at
>> helping with those basic beginning skills, and telling them we were
>> involved with social workers made it clear that we knew what we were
>> doing.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth is also right about over confidence. Has anyone ever heard
>> of something called silent gagging? Chris and I had never heard of it
>> until the doctor mentioned it the day after Kahlan was born. We said we
>> wanted to keep Kahlan in the room with us that night. They said they
>> wanted to bring a sitter in when the baby was with us alone. The word
>> sitter got our feathers ruffled, understandably, but once they
>> explained about silent gagging and visual cues that we might miss, we
>> accepted.
>>
>> My mom said my brother turned blue when he was a baby and the nurses
>> had to get him breathing again. He had experienced the silent gagging
>> and she hadn't thought about it until the doctor mentioned it to us.
>> Thank God, it never happened to Kahlan!
>>
>> Parents need to know when to say yes they need help or no they don't,
>> and in my opinion, they need to find ways to prove it when they don't
>> need help. We've been seen feeding and changing Kahlan and interacting
>> with her. Her happy, healthy personality proves that we're taking good
>> care of her, and every social worker we've spoken with who has seen her
>> knows it. I personally think voluntarily getting involved with social
>> workers is a good idea, especially for first time parents, and more
>> especially for first time parents like me who really didn't have the
>> proper skills before the birth. It shows that you want what's best for
>> your child and are willing to do whatever it takes.
>>
>> --
>> Hugs from Jodie and kahlan
>>
>> good morning dialog. Either you can yawn and stretch and hit space on
>> the get out of bed button or tab to the snooze button. Remember if you
>> hit space on the cancel button, that means that you're not in your
>> right mind to make a decision at this current time. Cancel button.
>> Sorry, we can't accept this response at this time. Please boot me up
>> when you're really and truly awake. Good bye button.
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/angie.matney%40gmail.com
>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/tcl189%40rogers.com
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/angie.matney%40gmail.com
>