[blparent] Parenting and blindness

Wed Aug 15 22:20:17 UTC 2012

Jennifer, 

If I can ask, what state do you live in? I am sorry CPS is hassling you. if you truely think this a due to your blindness, call your NFB state president. Perhaps they can help provide some education for the CPS workers. 

Marsha drenthSent from my iPhone

On Aug 10, 2012, at 3:13 AM, "Jennifer Jackson" <jennifersjackson at att.net> wrote:

> My original thought had been to work my way through the list and write about
> my own experiences with CPS after I had caught up, but I think I have
> something to share on this, and this list has been really active lately.
> This may not be the most coherent narrative, but really I often feel like I
> am in some episode of the Twilight Zone about this.
> 
> . The first time I know of anyone reporting us to CPS was when my son was
> about 8 months old. The horrible thing that needed to be investigated was
> that a blind woman lived in a house where the grass was overgrown and was
> alone with a baby. I am not kidding or exaggerating either. The grass was a
> little over mid calf high and did desperately need to be mown. At the time
> my husband was working full time in a rock quarry during the day and going
> to school full time at night so he had let the yard get away from him.  The
> worker got into my home by announcing who she was as she steeped forward
> into my personal space and I still think would have bounced off of me if I
> had not automatically taken a step back. Still she was in my home for less
> than five minutes including the introduction to the baby, to my sister who
> happened to have stopped by to visit, and a short trip to see the nicely
> kept back yard where the baby did go out to play. I suspect that it was the
> presence of my sister that made the difference though as it clearly
> indicated I had help. Ironically I think it was the only time she stopped by
> unexpectedly like that in the year or so I lived in that house.
> 
> About six months later I had another incident where I was actually out on an
> O&M lesson with the baby in a backpack and some people in a restaurant
> decided to call and report me to the police for walking in the street with
> the baby. Who knows haw that might have gone if I had been using that route
> the next day after the lesson and had not had an official person in charge
> of my safety.
> 
> Those were the only two incidents I had until my second son was about two.
> My little Houdini has always been quite the escape artist. He also has some
> issues with defiance and other inappropriate behaviors. I know I have shared
> some of this here, but it has culminated this year with our now having an
> open case with CPS. I do not actually question that they have come to ask
> about this as I do realize that the situation with him is escalating as he
> wants to widen his horizons and the police have been called several times
> over the last few years. Of course they believe this to all be related to my
> blindness even though he has a history of getting away from several
> different sighted caregivers in the past. The last couple of incidents have
> been about me and therefore it is all me.
> 
> Except that it is also about my middle son. The CPS worker has flat out said
> that she believes a sighted person could keep Henry from doing this.  I am
> regularly told what a great parent I am and that they have no concerns about
> my other two children, but that of course if I do not do exactly what they
> tell me about my middle son all three of my children will be removed from
> home. This in spite of the incident where two CPS workers were supposed to
> be speaking to my six year old in the back yard and when I came out they had
> lost him. I will at least give my CPS worker credit for answering with an "I
> don't know" when I asked her what she would do to keep Henry from leaving.
> Apparently her vision was not the magic answer. Another frustrating thing is
> that I do believe that this woman truly believes she is helping us.
> 
> One of the dilemmas I face is that if I do prove that a sighted person could
> not in fact do a better job, will they then decide that my boy needs to be
> placed in some kind of institution. For the record, none of his doctors or
> therapists think that is an appropriate level of care for Henry and believe
> he should be at home.
> 
> The system really can set you up for failure. If you accept their help and
> all the services that they recommend, that is proof that you need help, but
> if you decline it is a sign that you are refusing to access needed services.
> 
> 
> Oh, CPS also has concerns about the supposed parentification of my oldest
> child because of my blindness. I wonder if this is based on the report of
> the investigator who came into my home and asked my son "are you keeping
> everyone safe?" He said yes, so I guess we were safe for that few minutes
> after he came downstairs because he heard the doorbell and wanted to know
> who was here.
> 
> I asked my worker a couple of weeks ago to tell me what the goal is for my
> case. How will we know when we no longer need services and she does not have
> an answer. Apparently they have to staff this with the supervisor. I find it
> very disturbing that these people with so much power over my family are
> unable to express what they hope to achieve.
> 
> I could go on about this, and I may ad some things later, but this is
> already a novel. I have grown a lot more comfortable discussing this since
> it started in March, so please do feel free to respond to this.
> 
> 
> Jennifer
> 
> 
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Agnes Steinhoff
> Sent: Monday, August 13, 2012 5:13 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: [blparent] Parenting and blindness
> 
> It still amazes me that we are living in the year 2012 and have come so far
> with discrimination and yet people still take children away from blind
> parents for whatever reason.  And yet, there are parents out there who do
> drugs and abuse their children.  Everyone is too worried about the blind
> parent.  In my opinion, it takes common sense to raise a child, not sight.
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