[blparent] My son's teacher

[Deborah Kent Stein]

Dear Nikki,

I hear your tremendous frustration and discouragement, but believe me, 
you're not the only mom going through this with an active young son.  I 
suggest you read a book called The Trouble with Boys: A Surprising Report 
Card on Our Sons, Their Problems at School, and What Parents and Educators 
Must Do, by Peg Tyre.  It is available as a digital Talking Book from NLS. 
The author draws upon extensive research to show that the school environment 
today is very difficult for boys, who have a real need to be up and moving 
around more than most girls seem to.  It may be that at this point in his 
development your son really can't control some of his behavior, and his 
discouragement over being in trouble so much at school and at home is 
triggering other undesirable behaviors.  It may help, ultimately, to look 
for ways that he can shine, to  feel that he can do well and win praise from 
you and his teacher.  I realize it's far easier to write this than it is to 
sort it out, especially when you're trying to deal with the bad reports that 
come home day to day, and I don't in any way mean to minimize what you're 
going through.  I believe there are solutions out there, but it's a matter 
of finding them and it takes longer than anyone would wish.

Debbie


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Nikki" <daizies304 at gmail.com>
To: <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, February 03, 2012 6:39 PM
Subject: [blparent] My son's teacher


>    Here’s what my son’s teacher says...
>
> He is having a very difficult time settling down and staying
> on his chair. He also seems to be having a harder time keeping his
> hands to himself and staying on task. He is being challenged at an
> appropriate level, but is having a hard time staying focused enough to
> complete his tasks. He is often out of his seat. It is pretty much
> throughout the day. He gets along with people although they do not like
> it when he distracts them when they are working or pushed them on the
> playground. What is his behavior like at home and the level of
> activity? I always tie privileges to school notes. I don't like yelling
> and didn't spank. Let me know how he does at home and lets email some
> more after that.
>
>
> I don’t know what I could have done or not do to cause him to act this 
> way. I’m distraught and don’t know how to answer this. I don’t know what 
> to do as far as if I should punish him and how . I’ve got someone telling 
> me “spare the rod, spoil the child,” spank him. the teacher saying she 
> doesn’t spank, and then my parents are saying “well we don’t spank you 
> enough.” Right now I’ve got him in his room. I don’t know what he’s doing, 
> but ugh! he just came to me and said, “I misss you.” He tried pulling that 
> on me when I was spanking him or trying to. He resists and sits on his 
> butt and I’m not strong enough to turn him over so I slap what I can. He 
> makes me so mad but at the same time I want to cry.
>
> IDK. Just venting. You can comment if you want.
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