[blparent] update on the kids

[Peggy]

Just keep after her, if that means, you ask her to help with the dishes and 
you feel everything she's doing, then feel.  If you ask her to help with the 
laundry feel what she's doing!!  Another thing I did when I was doing foster 
care is the things I didn't want my foster kids stealing *or my teen at the 
time for that matter*, was to buy a couple lock boxes and I put things in 
there *like chocolates, lol.*  If she does get too much for you to handle 
you can always request a respite care for her, at least you can here in the 
States.  My sister gave up one of her boys for a while because he was just 
out of control, one of the hardest things she's ever done, but he's back at 
home now and seems to be doing great.  Sometimes call them on their bluff 
... she wants a different home, a different Mommy, then give her one.  I'm 
not sure I could do it but I sure have told my daughter that a time or two, 
if you want to go live somewhere else, then go.  But just check, check and 
check some more ... Take away things she likes, ... she's just testing you 
to see what she can get away with.



-----Original Message----- 
From: Stephanie Mitchell
Sent: Monday, February 27, 2012 5:36 PM
To: Blind parents Email list
Subject: [blparent] update on the kids

Hi All,
It's been a while, so I thought I'd write an update on our
family.
First, It was Cathy's 5th birthday yesterday.  We had a really
great day.  First it was toast for breakfast, Cathy's choice.  We
had cupcakes at school.  Then last night, I took the 3 kids to
hungry Jacks.  On the whole it went ok, although they didn't
really stay with me when I was ordering, and it took about 5
calls to get them back.  I held Tim, who is now 18 months, so he
was fine.  I ate out side near the play area, and let them play
after dinner, then caught a taxi home.  Stan got home about 8 pm,
and we had chocolate cake to round off the day.  Cathy got some
sticker books, a dolls house complete with little people in it,
and some colouring stuff.  She started school 3 weeks ago, and is
thriving.  She has just started bringing home the readers each
night, which is hard, because unlike Michele she can't read much
yet.  But we get there by Cathy spelling every thing to me.
Tim is now 18 months old and growing.  He is still cosleeping and
breastfeeding, and I don't plan on stopping that until he's about
two.  Then I'll try the gradually wean him.  He loves to eat, and
eats a large variety of fruit, vegies, cheese, chicken and lamb.
He doesn't really talk much.  He will say mum and dad, bye and
nite-nite but that's about it.  He understands every thing
though.  He always seems to know when we are going out, and
brings me my cane.  He also will find things if I ask him, put
things back when asked etc.  He loves touching stuff though and
it can be interesting with the other 2 kids in the house.  Trying
to do the kids home work while keeping him intertained is a real
challenge.  He doesn't like toys, he would rather be doing what
every one else is, but he can't.  So he gets in to every thing
and I feel like a monkey chasing him around all the time.
Michele was 8 in January.  Since last year when she reported us
to family services with false accusations of sexual abuse by dad,
and reported me for spanking, we are waiting on an appointment to
see the ped.  First, the doctor never put me on the waiting list,
so I had to ring up about that.  Because of the long wait, it
looks like it'll be about august before we are seen.  She excels
with her school work, and with her piano studies.  But behaviour
wise she is a bit of a nightmare.  She is defiant, and won't do
what she is asked.  I actually got a sighted friend to watch me
in action, to see if maybe it was something I needed to fix.  She
was there for an evening.  First, during the meal, Michele went
to the fridge while I was feeding Tim, and took some ham out and
ate it.  After dinner, when I wanted Michele to help with the
dishes, she decided to play with the stuff on the bench when I
sunk out to look at what Cath was doing.  When ever I had to
attend to the kids, instead of helping with what I'd asked, she
would touch things, or just stuff the dishes in the drawer with
out drying them.  Then when I tried to call her to account, she
would lie, and not admit it, even at spanking her and time out.
My friend saw her do these things, and said I had every thing,
but she still was playing up.  We had a load of washing that
night, I handed Michele something to hang up, and she drooped it,
then threw the clothing, then hid it under the bed, then flat out
lied about where the clothing was.
After that night, I decided I'd had enough of her fighting me all
the time.  So I have a new plan.  She has to sit by me while I'm
doing her washing and doing the dishes.  If she asks to help,
then let her and if she starts playing, make her sit by me again.
So far, it's sort of working after a week.  Although the kids ate
all my chocolate, and flat out lied about it.  Michele also has
started trying to sass me when I tell her to sit by me, and says
things like "you're mean" or "you are punishing me" when I'm not.
So I'd had to shut her down.
To be honest, I am feeling like a total failure as a parent right
now.  It seems like the kids listen more to dad than me.  And
they take advantage of my blindness and hearing loss.  I am at a
loss what to do.
Steph

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