[blparent] Explaining vision loss to children

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Debbie,

With my nephews and nieces, and now Penny, it has been just a natural
discussion and progression. They all have pretty quickly realized my
husband and I didn't always respond the way others did, and on their own
volition have started doing things like handing objects to us or tapping
us when wanting to be picked up instead of holding arms up or using
words, once speaking, instead of visual cues when wanting something. 

Perhaps we have had it a bit easier than some, but the blindness "issue"
hasn't been that big of a deal. The kids range in age from eight to two
now, but it has never been odd when Uncle Ross and Aunt Bridgey do
things a little differently like actually touching their food to see how
much has been eaten or placing a hand on their head to feel if they are
nodding yes or no or asking them to use words or come to us when we call
their name. We did at some point start discussing that Bridgey and
Ross's eyes don't work very well, but that's not a bad thing, it just
means we sometimes may use a different tool to accomplish things.
They've had questions as they grow older and understand more and more,
but it has never been awkward for either party. 

I think the constant exposure has helped along with their parents not
making it a big deal either. They also see us doing "normal" things like
house chores, reading, cooking, going to the park or running errands,
etc, which continues to instill the idea that we are like everyone else
even if we do some things a bit differently. They all love riding the
bus when with my husband and I, grin. It is a novelty to them, something
cool. And all the kids have asked to learn Braille at some point in
time; our six-year-old niece actually picked up grade 1 Braille at age
four.

And of course, each has wanted to play with the canes. We have always
told them that a white cane is not a toy, and shown them how to use it,
and they all now know how to use proper cane technique. Penny, who is
two, picked this up around age one and continues to use it properly when
wanting to hold one of our canes. 

Because they have all been around us so much, it is not unusual or
weird. Whenever we leave the house, one of the first things Penny does
is hand us our canes. And when the now eight-year-old was four, he poked
holes in his Christmas wish list for Ross and I so we could read it.
None of them have ever been scared or concerned when in our care either.
I think the most important element is to reiterate that being blind is
not scary, and that people with blindness do things just like everyone
else, but we do use some different tools and methods at times. 

Since the children you refer to are older, perhaps they can help grandma
bake cookies or clean the house to see how she does things. This can
reinforce how different techniques work just as well along with
"showing" instead of "telling" how grandma can do things, and allaying
any fears and concerns the grandchildren may have. I've found that
approaching the subject naturally and in a laid-back manner works best. 

And let the kids ask questions. I often come across parents who stifle
their kids questions when encountering my husband or me, and I'd rather
they ask questions than grow up thinking this is wrong, and most likely
perpetuating negative ideas towards blindness. Kids are very willing to
have faith in something whereas many adults find it difficult to grasp
certain ideas. If more people were exposed to positive ideas about
disability at a younger age, we may have more adults not so willing to
buy into old notions.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 11
Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2012 17:13:07 -0600
From: "Deborah Kent Stein" <dkent5817 at att.net>
To: "Multiple recipients of NFBnet blparent Mailing List"
	<blparent at NFBnet.org>
Subject: [blparent] Explaining Vision Loss to Children
Message-ID: <00d801ccf66e$89745600$d70aa8c0 at Debbie>
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
	reply-type=original


I received a query from a sighted mom who wants ideas about how to
explain 
her mother's progressive vision loss to her children - i.e., her mother
is 
the children's grandmother.  The children are eight and five years old,
and 
have always known their grandmother as fully sighted.  If you have any 
thoughts or suggestions, I'll pass them along.

Debbie