[blparent] kids and the park

Fri Jan 6 22:15:53 UTC 2012

Melissa, that's exactly why I went, too, because I didn't want Sarah to look 
back and remember us needing help to get out of the house.  I wanted her to 
remember fun times we had together.

Jo Elizabeth

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, 
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of 
the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all of 
these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Melissa Ann Riccobono" <melissa at riccobono.us>
Sent: Friday, January 06, 2012 2:59 PM
To: "'NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] kids and the park

> I couldn't agree more with this post.  I had very similar fears when 
> taking
> Austin to the playground for the first time.  But, I also took that deep
> breath and went.  The thing that helped me most was my thinking that I 
> never
> wanted Austin to feel as if we had to wait for help to do something like 
> go
> to the park.  I wanted him, looking back, to remember me doing things with
> him.  I didn't want my fears to get in the way of Austin having a good 
> time,
> or the two of us having memories of fun times together.  I also started to
> realize that a lot of my fears stemmed around what others might think of 
> me
> if I wasn't 100% oriented to the playground at all times, or if I had to 
> ask
> directions to exit the playground so we could get home.  The playground 
> near
> our house is great, but it is huge.  I had to take another deep breath and
> remind myself that it doesn't really matter what other people think, and
> that I do not have to be a "super blind person."  As Jo Elizabeth says,
> asking for help and directions is a human thing, and ultimately it was 
> more
> important to me to take Austin to the playground and face my fears than
> worrying about what other people might or might not think of me.  By the
> way, so often people really aren't paying attention to me, and I know 
> that,
> but it's sometimes easy to get caught up in the "what if" thinking,
> especially since we do, as blind parents, get a lot of really discouraging
> messages about our abilities, or lack of ability, especially where raising
> children is involved.  Anyway, I really hope you are able to make your 
> trip
> to the park soon, and I am hoping all the best for a fantastic first 
> outing!
> I'm sure it will go fine, and if it doesn't for some reason, please have 
> the
> courage to try again, as things so often get better with time and 
> practice.
> Melissa
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> Sent: Friday, January 06, 2012 1:45 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] kids and the park
>
> It's hard, Stephanie, I know, because my family always expected a lot of 
> me,
>
> which was a positive thing in some ways.  But somehow, my best was never
> good enough.  Sooner or later, you have to decide who you're going to
> believe.  I'm still working on it, but I choose to believe that my best is
> good enough, and more than good enough.  I don't have much contact with my
> family anymore, partly because they refused to believe that I could raise 
> a
> child in a clean, stimulating environment that met her needs.  Well, the
> truth is telling itself.  My daughter is bright, happy, and confident.
> Choosing to believe in yourself isn't easy, but it's better than giving in
> and embracing the lies and fears that were handed to you, maybe by
> well-meaning family members, because they didn't know what potential you
> had.
>
> I remember the first time I took my daughter to the playground that's 
> right
> here in the condo complex where I live.  I was afraid, worried that
> something might happen, that I might fail to keep my baby safe in some 
> way,
> all those thoughts that tumble around in your head.  But I took a deep
> breath and went, and everything turned out fine.  Now Sarah and I go all
> over the complex, usually while she's riding her bike.  We've discovered
> leaves, holiday decorations, and friends.  I got lost with her once, and
> that was scary, but I stopped a couple walking their dogs, and eventually
> made it back home.  My daughter ran away from me and wouldn't come back 
> one
> time, and I had to get some other kids at the park to help me round her 
> up.
> I was embarrassed, but we made it home safely, and since we didn't go out 
> to
>
> the park again for quite a while after that, Sarah decided that running 
> away
>
> wasn't a wise choice.  I twisted each ankle, on separate occasions while
> helping Sarah climb, and had to limp home twice.  Sarah fell and scraped 
> her
>
> knee once, and we had to trek home for a Band-Aid.  She's gotten dirty, 
> had
> a few accidents because we couldn't make it home in time to get to the
> bathroom, and in spite of all that, she loves going out and has had loads 
> of
>
> fun.  I'm saying all this to tell you that some of your worries might come
> true, but in the end, you'll make it home and feel better about yourself
> because of it.  Take a few precautions like having a cell phone or money 
> for
>
> a pay phone, maybe write down a taxi number and take it with you, and then
> just start out.  You'll build confidence as you go.  And remember, it's 
> not
> a bad thing to ask for help, or directions.  It doesn't mean you failed as 
> a
>
> blind person--it means you're human.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young,
> compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant 
> of
> the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all 
> of
> these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Sheila Leigland" <sleigland at bresnan.net>
> Sent: Thursday, January 05, 2012 10:54 PM
> To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] kids and the park
>
>> Hi steph I understand where you are coming from. I was told many of the
>> same things. It freaked my mom out to watch me cross a street. I didn't
>> learn much about housework or cooking until I decided to get married. All
>> of this happened after college.  I know you will be okay. It is not
>> posible to be one hundred times better than the sighted world. Twice as
>> good was hard enough. You can only do the best you can noone should ask
>> more of you than that.Mom couldn't imagine me being able to work and
>> maiuntain a house. Old paterns can be hard to break. I had to learn to
>> believe in myself even if others didn't see things that way.
>>
>> sheila leigland
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jopinto%40msn.com
>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/melissa%40riccobono.us
> -----
> No virus found in this message.
> Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
> Version: 10.0.1416 / Virus Database: 2109/4126 - Release Date: 01/06/12
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jopinto%40msn.com
> 