[blparent] kids and the park

Fri Jan 6 21:59:59 UTC 2012

I couldn't agree more with this post.  I had very similar fears when taking
Austin to the playground for the first time.  But, I also took that deep
breath and went.  The thing that helped me most was my thinking that I never
wanted Austin to feel as if we had to wait for help to do something like go
to the park.  I wanted him, looking back, to remember me doing things with
him.  I didn't want my fears to get in the way of Austin having a good time,
or the two of us having memories of fun times together.  I also started to
realize that a lot of my fears stemmed around what others might think of me
if I wasn't 100% oriented to the playground at all times, or if I had to ask
directions to exit the playground so we could get home.  The playground near
our house is great, but it is huge.  I had to take another deep breath and
remind myself that it doesn't really matter what other people think, and
that I do not have to be a "super blind person."  As Jo Elizabeth says,
asking for help and directions is a human thing, and ultimately it was more
important to me to take Austin to the playground and face my fears than
worrying about what other people might or might not think of me.  By the
way, so often people really aren't paying attention to me, and I know that,
but it's sometimes easy to get caught up in the "what if" thinking,
especially since we do, as blind parents, get a lot of really discouraging
messages about our abilities, or lack of ability, especially where raising
children is involved.  Anyway, I really hope you are able to make your trip
to the park soon, and I am hoping all the best for a fantastic first outing!
I'm sure it will go fine, and if it doesn't for some reason, please have the
courage to try again, as things so often get better with time and practice.
Melissa 

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Friday, January 06, 2012 1:45 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] kids and the park

It's hard, Stephanie, I know, because my family always expected a lot of me,

which was a positive thing in some ways.  But somehow, my best was never 
good enough.  Sooner or later, you have to decide who you're going to 
believe.  I'm still working on it, but I choose to believe that my best is 
good enough, and more than good enough.  I don't have much contact with my 
family anymore, partly because they refused to believe that I could raise a 
child in a clean, stimulating environment that met her needs.  Well, the 
truth is telling itself.  My daughter is bright, happy, and confident. 
Choosing to believe in yourself isn't easy, but it's better than giving in 
and embracing the lies and fears that were handed to you, maybe by 
well-meaning family members, because they didn't know what potential you 
had.

I remember the first time I took my daughter to the playground that's right 
here in the condo complex where I live.  I was afraid, worried that 
something might happen, that I might fail to keep my baby safe in some way, 
all those thoughts that tumble around in your head.  But I took a deep 
breath and went, and everything turned out fine.  Now Sarah and I go all 
over the complex, usually while she's riding her bike.  We've discovered 
leaves, holiday decorations, and friends.  I got lost with her once, and 
that was scary, but I stopped a couple walking their dogs, and eventually 
made it back home.  My daughter ran away from me and wouldn't come back one 
time, and I had to get some other kids at the park to help me round her up. 
I was embarrassed, but we made it home safely, and since we didn't go out to

the park again for quite a while after that, Sarah decided that running away

wasn't a wise choice.  I twisted each ankle, on separate occasions while 
helping Sarah climb, and had to limp home twice.  Sarah fell and scraped her

knee once, and we had to trek home for a Band-Aid.  She's gotten dirty, had 
a few accidents because we couldn't make it home in time to get to the 
bathroom, and in spite of all that, she loves going out and has had loads of

fun.  I'm saying all this to tell you that some of your worries might come 
true, but in the end, you'll make it home and feel better about yourself 
because of it.  Take a few precautions like having a cell phone or money for

a pay phone, maybe write down a taxi number and take it with you, and then 
just start out.  You'll build confidence as you go.  And remember, it's not 
a bad thing to ask for help, or directions.  It doesn't mean you failed as a

blind person--it means you're human.

Jo Elizabeth

"How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, 
compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of 
the weak and the strong.  Because someday in life you will have been all of 
these."--George Washington Carver, 1864-1943, American scientist

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Sheila Leigland" <sleigland at bresnan.net>
Sent: Thursday, January 05, 2012 10:54 PM
To: "NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] kids and the park

> Hi steph I understand where you are coming from. I was told many of the 
> same things. It freaked my mom out to watch me cross a street. I didn't 
> learn much about housework or cooking until I decided to get married. All 
> of this happened after college.  I know you will be okay. It is not 
> posible to be one hundred times better than the sighted world. Twice as 
> good was hard enough. You can only do the best you can noone should ask 
> more of you than that.Mom couldn't imagine me being able to work and 
> maiuntain a house. Old paterns can be hard to break. I had to learn to 
> believe in myself even if others didn't see things that way.
>
> sheila leigland
>
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> 

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