[blparent] How do you know you're a mother? (time to lighten up and laugh)

[Veronica Smith]

Jo elizabeth, thank you!  That was wonderful and oh so true! V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Tuesday, January 10, 2012 5:38 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] How do you know you're a mother? (time to lighten up and
laugh)

I saw this and thought I'd share.  A little gross, don't read if you're
squeamish, but it never hurts to laugh.



Jo Elizabeth



A few months ago, I was in the grocery store roaming the bread isle. Wheat,
white, pita, English muffins ... Boring, boring, boring. And, then I spotted
it: Goldfish Sandwich Bread. There, right in between the milk and the exotic
food aisle, I squealed. Bread, in the shape of a giant Goldfish cracker?! My
kids would be psyched!! This was the best trip to Safeway EVER!!! Wooo-hooo!

And, then it hit me: I am such a mother. 

I asked my friends for their "motherhood moments" and the answers made me
laugh -- I can relate to every single one ... What about you?

25. Your new accessories consist of boogers, spit up and pieces of food on
your outfit.  -- Monica

24. Your kid starts to throw up and you hold out your hands to catch it
because you're no where near the toilet. Then you hold the crying child,
getting barf in your hair and that's the least of your concerns. -- Amy

23. When going grocery shopping alone is considered "Me time" -- Lizette

22. You quietly wipe a butt (and remember to not flush!) while on a business
call. --- Laura

21. Your six year old daughter has more shoes and a cuter wardrobe than you.
-- Patti

20. You pick someone else's boogers and it's no big deal. -- Melissa

19. You actually like driving a mini van. -- Jody

18. When you know 1 million things to clean with BABY WIPES! -- Diana

17. When you feel the need to stick a bottle in the mouth of anyone upset.
-- Michelle

16. You carry human teeth in your purse.  -- Penny

15. You just forced them into bed and you've had enough then an hour later
you're bawling your eyes out at their baby pics. -- Nermeen 

14. You hold your poop till 11 p.m. so that you can go without an
audience... -- Evin

13. ?"What kind of poop was it?" counts as stimulating conversation.  --
JoAnna

12.  When you jam out to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse song while driving and
realize you just dropped off the little one at daycare. -- LeKisha 

11. When you have extra underwear and leggings and emergency fruit snacks
stashed in your purse and glove compartment at all times! --- Kathryn

10. You can do 6 different things at the same time.  -- Donna

9. You hear a kid going bananas in public and as soon as you see it's not
yours, you're thrilled.  -- Stacey

8. Walk out of the house, realize there's poop on your shirt, and scrape it
off with your nail instead of going back inside to change. -- Erin

7. When you hear someone else's newborn do her little gurgle cry and you
think "awww, I wish I could hold her" rather than "OMG make it stop!" --
Brandy

6. You are more likely to find cheese sticks, diapers and yogurt in your
purse than a mirror. -- Liana

5. You spent half the day with a "You Went Potty!!!!" sticker in your hair
and no one told you. -- Tiffany

4. You have embraced the fact that an uninterrupted nap excites you more
than uninterrupted sex. -- Kimberly

3. You clench your nether regions just before a sneeze so you don't pee. --
Kelly

2. You eat a rogue Froot Loop off the floor and never think twice. And you
don't even look around to see if someone's watching. -- Susan

1. The last thing you do on a vacation is relax.  -- Kimberly



How did you know you were a mother?

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