[blparent] blparent Digest, Vol 92, Issue 35

[Veronica Smith]

My friend D did a really drastic thing one time, her daughter was very much
like Nikki's son and no matter what they did to her daughter, R would still
do what she wanted.  So one day while R was at school, D packed up her
entire room, put everything in a box in the garage, clothes, shoes, toys and
pretty much left the basics.  When R came from school, she was shocked to
see her room empty and D told her, I have asked you time and time again to
stop this ill behavior and I said there would be consequences and when I
start seeing good marks at school and the color tree is always good, you
will start getting your stuff back.  Boy, did it ever work.
Sometimes you have to take drastic measures, punishment doesn't always have
to be spanking, etc. V

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jennifer Bose
Sent: Tuesday, January 31, 2012 12:21 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [blparent] blparent Digest, Vol 92, Issue 35

Hi, Nikki.

I agree with Veronica here. Now granted, my daughter isn't six yet, but I
was around my stepdaughter a lot when she was six, seven and eight. I
suspect Veronica's got good advice about attending your son's class and
trying to see what might be going on. If there's a counselor at school you
and your son could go to, that might also be a good idea. In order to listen
to you, he needs to know that you're basically a calm but firm parent, not
one who just loses control, calls him a brat and wants to spank him or wash
his mouth out. (Maybe you were just letting steam off on the list). Anyway,
if you're angry and losing control, he'll probably be angry too.

A thought about punishment: What about leaving all his toys in the room and
taking them away or giving them back as his card colors get worse or better.
Maybe starting from a positive place rather than a negative one might help
him to see that if he's good, you're perfectly happy to let him have all his
toys, but that bad behavior will mean removal of a toy.

Jen

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