[blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

Tue Jun 5 21:58:31 UTC 2012

Well, I've told my stepson's dad that I don't like the mess, so he knows I'm 
not happy about it.  But he doesn't make it a priority because he doesn't 
care about it, or really even notice it, himself.  His philosophy is, scoop 
out a path and deal with it later, or not at all.  I can't live that way, so 
I'm usually on edge.  He'll back me up as far as if I ask my stepson to do 
something, he needs to do it.  And my stepson is a good kid, for the most 
part, so if I ask for something directly, he might sigh like he's being told 
to dig his own grave, but he'll do what I say in the end.  As far as getting 
on the same page about the mess, I wish I could make it happen, I really do.

Jo Elizabeth

"A bird doesn't
sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song."  Maya 
Angelou

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Sean Paul" <newsandtraffic at aol.com>
Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2012 3:39 PM
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

> I personally think that before you have this type of discussion with him. 
> You should involve your husband. Explain to him what is going on. Then you 
> both talk to your step son.
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Erin Rumer" <erinrumer at gmail.com>
> To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2012 17:32
> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>
>
>> Hello Jo Elizabeth,
>>
>> I would just sit down with him and have a calm and non-threatening
>> conversation about what is expected from him around the house and what 
>> the
>> rules are.  As you already know, this will be foreign to him because he's
>> never treaded these waters with his biological mom so expect lash back 
>> but
>> just stay relaxed yourself as a united front with your hubby.  More than
>> anything, let your step son know what the rewards are for taking
>> responsibility like allowance and such and that should at least be a 
>> carrot
>> to entice the horse so to speak.  Make sure to discuss all of the details 
>> of
>> consequences and rewards with your hubby ahead of time that way there's 
>> no
>> conflict between the two of you, especially in front of your step son
>> because he will see that as weakness and take advantage for sure.  For 
>> those
>> things that aren't black and white you might just simply ask your step 
>> son
>> to help you out more with tasks, like making the pizza for example.  Your
>> daughter wanted some, but that's no reason he shouldn't have a hand in
>> helping out so, maybe just tell him that you're going to throw it in the
>> oven, and if he could take it out when the timer goes off and cut it up 
>> as
>> soon as it cools, that would be great.
>>
>> Hope this helps and good luck!  I've worked a lot with teens and they can 
>> be
>> a species of their own for sure! SMILING
>>
>> Erin
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>> Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2012 2:12 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>>
>> Hi.  Summer vacation is just beginning around here, and my stepson is 
>> living
>> with us during the weeks and going home to his mom on the weekends.  It's 
>> a
>> workable arrangement, except for one thing.  I think my stepson is used 
>> to
>> his mom pretty much waiting on him.  Like today, he wanted a frozen pizza
>> for lunch, but he made no move to get up and make it.  I finally did the 
>> job
>> because Sarah wanted some too.  He doesn't put dishes in the dishwasher, 
>> or
>> if he does, they're not rinsed first.  He doesn't see a problem with 
>> clothes
>> all over the floor.  The maid wants to go on strike!
>>
>> Any tips for how to deal with older kids?  Sarah's young enough that she
>> pretty much does what I tell her, and she already knows she has to put
>> dishes in the sink and clothes in the hamper.  But my stepson is driving 
>> me
>> crazy, and I just don't have the energy to keep my house from getting to
>> look like Hurricane Katrina has taken up residence.
>>
>> Run ragged,
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a
>> song."  Maya Angelou
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>
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