[blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

[Jennifer Jackson]

One suggestion I heard recently is to do more short term restrictions of
privileges. For example take away some privileged like tv or a more general
electronics for 2 hours. It is a period of time that is more immediate than
even a week. The truth is that it is easier to enforce too. Another
advantage is that once you take away all their privileges for a month, what
do you have left to punish them with. Even if you have a really bad day and
the kid loses everything over and over all day, the next morning is a new
day. I know my singular and plural usage is a little off in this paragraph,
but I hope my points are still clear as I am out of time to repair it.

I really liked what Erin had to say too.

Jo, will your husband back you up on this? My cousin had a similar problem
with her step son, but her husbands attitude was that he only saw his son on
the weekends and that he did not want to spend that time being the bad guy
and making him do housework instead of playing. Her husband said he would do
it all for his son instead, but that did not address the mess he left around
all day when Dad was gone. My cousin did not want to, but under those
conditions she said she could not have him there when his Dad was working
out of town as it caused all the other kids to rebel. I thought this was
very sad because my cousin had been trying to make them a real family and
not a case of his, hers, and theirs. This was especially sad this Fall when
her step sons mother and half sister died and he had to come and live with
them. Keeping up with the household rules was just one more complication in
an already tragic situation.


Jennifer

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Erin Rumer
Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2012 4:33 PM
To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

Hello Jo Elizabeth,

I would just sit down with him and have a calm and non-threatening
conversation about what is expected from him around the house and what the
rules are.  As you already know, this will be foreign to him because he's
never treaded these waters with his biological mom so expect lash back but
just stay relaxed yourself as a united front with your hubby.  More than
anything, let your step son know what the rewards are for taking
responsibility like allowance and such and that should at least be a carrot
to entice the horse so to speak.  Make sure to discuss all of the details of
consequences and rewards with your hubby ahead of time that way there's no
conflict between the two of you, especially in front of your step son
because he will see that as weakness and take advantage for sure.  For those
things that aren't black and white you might just simply ask your step son
to help you out more with tasks, like making the pizza for example.  Your
daughter wanted some, but that's no reason he shouldn't have a hand in
helping out so, maybe just tell him that you're going to throw it in the
oven, and if he could take it out when the timer goes off and cut it up as
soon as it cools, that would be great.

Hope this helps and good luck!  I've worked a lot with teens and they can be
a species of their own for sure! SMILING

Erin

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2012 2:12 PM
To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

Hi.  Summer vacation is just beginning around here, and my stepson is living
with us during the weeks and going home to his mom on the weekends.  It's a
workable arrangement, except for one thing.  I think my stepson is used to
his mom pretty much waiting on him.  Like today, he wanted a frozen pizza
for lunch, but he made no move to get up and make it.  I finally did the job
because Sarah wanted some too.  He doesn't put dishes in the dishwasher, or
if he does, they're not rinsed first.  He doesn't see a problem with clothes
all over the floor.  The maid wants to go on strike!

Any tips for how to deal with older kids?  Sarah's young enough that she
pretty much does what I tell her, and she already knows she has to put
dishes in the sink and clothes in the hamper.  But my stepson is driving me
crazy, and I just don't have the energy to keep my house from getting to
look like Hurricane Katrina has taken up residence.

Run ragged,
Jo Elizabeth

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a
song."  Maya Angelou
_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
blparent:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/erinrumer%40gmail.com


_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
blparent:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jennifersjackson%40att
.net