[blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

Tue Jun 5 22:11:59 UTC 2012

Thanks, Jennifer, I did get it, and I like the immediacy of more short term 
restrictions, especially since my stepson is here for five days, then home 
for two, and back again.

That's sad about your cousin and her family.  Sometimes we should count our 
blessings, I guess, when we hear about tragedies like that.

Jo Elizabeth

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a 
song."  Maya Angelou

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Jennifer Jackson" <jennifersjackson at att.net>
Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2012 11:08 AM
To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

> One suggestion I heard recently is to do more short term restrictions of
> privileges. For example take away some privileged like tv or a more 
> general
> electronics for 2 hours. It is a period of time that is more immediate 
> than
> even a week. The truth is that it is easier to enforce too. Another
> advantage is that once you take away all their privileges for a month, 
> what
> do you have left to punish them with. Even if you have a really bad day 
> and
> the kid loses everything over and over all day, the next morning is a new
> day. I know my singular and plural usage is a little off in this 
> paragraph,
> but I hope my points are still clear as I am out of time to repair it.
>
> I really liked what Erin had to say too.
>
> Jo, will your husband back you up on this? My cousin had a similar problem
> with her step son, but her husbands attitude was that he only saw his son 
> on
> the weekends and that he did not want to spend that time being the bad guy
> and making him do housework instead of playing. Her husband said he would 
> do
> it all for his son instead, but that did not address the mess he left 
> around
> all day when Dad was gone. My cousin did not want to, but under those
> conditions she said she could not have him there when his Dad was working
> out of town as it caused all the other kids to rebel. I thought this was
> very sad because my cousin had been trying to make them a real family and
> not a case of his, hers, and theirs. This was especially sad this Fall 
> when
> her step sons mother and half sister died and he had to come and live with
> them. Keeping up with the household rules was just one more complication 
> in
> an already tragic situation.
>
>
> Jennifer
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Erin Rumer
> Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2012 4:33 PM
> To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>
> Hello Jo Elizabeth,
>
> I would just sit down with him and have a calm and non-threatening
> conversation about what is expected from him around the house and what the
> rules are.  As you already know, this will be foreign to him because he's
> never treaded these waters with his biological mom so expect lash back but
> just stay relaxed yourself as a united front with your hubby.  More than
> anything, let your step son know what the rewards are for taking
> responsibility like allowance and such and that should at least be a 
> carrot
> to entice the horse so to speak.  Make sure to discuss all of the details 
> of
> consequences and rewards with your hubby ahead of time that way there's no
> conflict between the two of you, especially in front of your step son
> because he will see that as weakness and take advantage for sure.  For 
> those
> things that aren't black and white you might just simply ask your step son
> to help you out more with tasks, like making the pizza for example.  Your
> daughter wanted some, but that's no reason he shouldn't have a hand in
> helping out so, maybe just tell him that you're going to throw it in the
> oven, and if he could take it out when the timer goes off and cut it up as
> soon as it cools, that would be great.
>
> Hope this helps and good luck!  I've worked a lot with teens and they can 
> be
> a species of their own for sure! SMILING
>
> Erin
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2012 2:12 PM
> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>
> Hi.  Summer vacation is just beginning around here, and my stepson is 
> living
> with us during the weeks and going home to his mom on the weekends.  It's 
> a
> workable arrangement, except for one thing.  I think my stepson is used to
> his mom pretty much waiting on him.  Like today, he wanted a frozen pizza
> for lunch, but he made no move to get up and make it.  I finally did the 
> job
> because Sarah wanted some too.  He doesn't put dishes in the dishwasher, 
> or
> if he does, they're not rinsed first.  He doesn't see a problem with 
> clothes
> all over the floor.  The maid wants to go on strike!
>
> Any tips for how to deal with older kids?  Sarah's young enough that she
> pretty much does what I tell her, and she already knows she has to put
> dishes in the sink and clothes in the hamper.  But my stepson is driving 
> me
> crazy, and I just don't have the energy to keep my house from getting to
> look like Hurricane Katrina has taken up residence.
>
> Run ragged,
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a
> song."  Maya Angelou
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