[blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

[sharon howerton]

This whole thread reminds me of what I felt when my sons were young as their 
dad didn't care one way or the other about keeping things neat, etc. To me, 
there needs to be a united front of both parents, natural or otherwise, 
about what is expected at home. For me it was continual frustration to the 
point that after 20 years of marriage, I filed for divorce and left, 
probably to the amazement of my two sons and their dad. To me you have an 
unenviable situation, , Jo Elizabeth, since this is not your own son, he 
gets one message from you, one from his mom and probably something from his 
dad, not to mention how he lived when he was younger. Then you throw in the 
blindness component you have when he leaves stuff around. With his mom and 
dad it wouldn't matter; for us, it's a huge pain and ongoing annoyance when 
you have to pick up things, trip or step over them, spill things, etc. Good 
luck.
Sharon
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 12:18 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!


> Little pizzas might be a good idea.  The dishes thing is interesting--I 
> did stop him from leaving half full drinks sitting around where they could 
> be, and were often, knocked over.  I said if I had to clean up one more 
> spill I was going to take all the cups and glasses out of the kitchen and 
> leave only sippies.  I would have done it, too, but so far I haven't had 
> to.  Also, I have an empty Pringles can in my utensil drawer, and all of 
> the steak knives go into that can so I don't reach into the drawer and 
> grab one of the blades by accident.  I did take all of the knives and put 
> them in a hiding place, and when I returned them to the drawer, I haven't 
> had any more trouble with the blades not going into the Pringles can.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a 
> song."  Maya Angelou
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 11:04 AM
> To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>
>>        To put a more positive spin on this, maybe his mom enjoys waiting 
>> on him or maybe she's got some control issues and he's gotten yelled at 
>> for not doing things exactly as she would do them?
>>
>> Not that you need to put up with this, but you may not know what went on 
>> or goes on when he's with his mom.
>> If he was living with me, I'd first tell him what I expect. Then if he 
>> ignored me, I'd make him feel the pain.  If dishes don't go where they 
>> need to, well, he must not care so he doesn't get a place set at the next 
>> meal because that requires clean dishes.  If his clothes are everywhere, 
>> well he must not need them clean.
>>
>> Also, I'd probably have made Sarah a nonpizza lunch and explained to her 
>> that you're trying to train her silly stepbrother.  I say this because 
>> he's just figured out that if Sarah wants something you'll do it.  That's 
>> not technically fair to Sarah but it also isn't fair that you fee like 
>> the maid and all of you need to realize you live as a group.
>>
>> If you just can't say no to pizza, can you get little pizzas, only big 
>> enough for one so Sarah can have hers and stepson can go without?
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
>> Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>> Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2012 5:12 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>>
>> Hi.  Summer vacation is just beginning around here, and my stepson is 
>> living with us during the weeks and going home to his mom on the 
>> weekends. It's a workable arrangement, except for one thing.  I think my 
>> stepson is used to his mom pretty much waiting on him.  Like today, he 
>> wanted a frozen pizza for lunch, but he made no move to get up and make 
>> it.  I finally did the job because Sarah wanted some too.  He doesn't put 
>> dishes in the dishwasher, or if he does, they're not rinsed first.  He 
>> doesn't see a problem with clothes all over the floor.  The maid wants to 
>> go on strike!
>>
>> Any tips for how to deal with older kids?  Sarah's young enough that she 
>> pretty much does what I tell her, and she already knows she has to put 
>> dishes in the sink and clothes in the hamper.  But my stepson is driving 
>> me crazy, and I just don't have the energy to keep my house from getting 
>> to look like Hurricane Katrina has taken up residence.
>>
>> Run ragged,
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a 
>> song."  Maya Angelou
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