[blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

Erin Rumer erinrumer at gmail.com
Wed Jun 6 20:49:41 UTC 2012 

Yes, and without knowing all the details it sounds like your step-son's
biological parents are competing with one-another by trying to be the
favorite and most liked parent.  Everyone suffers from this but your
step-son is suffering the most as you well know since he's not learning to
respect and have responsibility but rather how to manipulate situations to
get what he wants.  If I were you I'd just calmly let him know that if a
drink spills because he's left it out, then he will be called in to
immediately clean it up, no questions asked!  It's enough that we knock
things over more than the average bare because of our blindness, not to
mention having to clean-up after goofy teenagers. SMILING

Erin

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of sharon howerton
Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 10:33 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

This whole thread reminds me of what I felt when my sons were young as their
dad didn't care one way or the other about keeping things neat, etc. To me,
there needs to be a united front of both parents, natural or otherwise,
about what is expected at home. For me it was continual frustration to the
point that after 20 years of marriage, I filed for divorce and left,
probably to the amazement of my two sons and their dad. To me you have an
unenviable situation, , Jo Elizabeth, since this is not your own son, he
gets one message from you, one from his mom and probably something from his
dad, not to mention how he lived when he was younger. Then you throw in the
blindness component you have when he leaves stuff around. With his mom and
dad it wouldn't matter; for us, it's a huge pain and ongoing annoyance when
you have to pick up things, trip or step over them, spill things, etc. Good
luck.
Sharon
----- Original Message -----
From: "Jo Elizabeth Pinto" <jopinto at msn.com>
To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 12:18 PM
Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!


> Little pizzas might be a good idea.  The dishes thing is 
> interesting--I did stop him from leaving half full drinks sitting 
> around where they could be, and were often, knocked over.  I said if I 
> had to clean up one more spill I was going to take all the cups and 
> glasses out of the kitchen and leave only sippies.  I would have done 
> it, too, but so far I haven't had to.  Also, I have an empty Pringles 
> can in my utensil drawer, and all of the steak knives go into that can 
> so I don't reach into the drawer and grab one of the blades by 
> accident.  I did take all of the knives and put them in a hiding 
> place, and when I returned them to the drawer, I haven't had any more
trouble with the blades not going into the Pringles can.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has 
> a song."  Maya Angelou
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
> Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 11:04 AM
> To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>
>>        To put a more positive spin on this, maybe his mom enjoys 
>> waiting on him or maybe she's got some control issues and he's gotten 
>> yelled at for not doing things exactly as she would do them?
>>
>> Not that you need to put up with this, but you may not know what went 
>> on or goes on when he's with his mom.
>> If he was living with me, I'd first tell him what I expect. Then if 
>> he ignored me, I'd make him feel the pain.  If dishes don't go where 
>> they need to, well, he must not care so he doesn't get a place set at 
>> the next meal because that requires clean dishes.  If his clothes are 
>> everywhere, well he must not need them clean.
>>
>> Also, I'd probably have made Sarah a nonpizza lunch and explained to 
>> her that you're trying to train her silly stepbrother.  I say this 
>> because he's just figured out that if Sarah wants something you'll do 
>> it.  That's not technically fair to Sarah but it also isn't fair that 
>> you fee like the maid and all of you need to realize you live as a group.
>>
>> If you just can't say no to pizza, can you get little pizzas, only 
>> big enough for one so Sarah can have hers and stepson can go without?
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org 
>> [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
>> Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2012 5:12 PM
>> To: NFBnet Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>>
>> Hi.  Summer vacation is just beginning around here, and my stepson is 
>> living with us during the weeks and going home to his mom on the 
>> weekends. It's a workable arrangement, except for one thing.  I think 
>> my stepson is used to his mom pretty much waiting on him.  Like 
>> today, he wanted a frozen pizza for lunch, but he made no move to get 
>> up and make it.  I finally did the job because Sarah wanted some too.  
>> He doesn't put dishes in the dishwasher, or if he does, they're not 
>> rinsed first.  He doesn't see a problem with clothes all over the 
>> floor.  The maid wants to go on strike!
>>
>> Any tips for how to deal with older kids?  Sarah's young enough that 
>> she pretty much does what I tell her, and she already knows she has 
>> to put dishes in the sink and clothes in the hamper.  But my stepson 
>> is driving me crazy, and I just don't have the energy to keep my 
>> house from getting to look like Hurricane Katrina has taken up residence.
>>
>> Run ragged,
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it 
>> has a song."  Maya Angelou 
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