[blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

Thu Jun 7 02:52:45 UTC 2012

The natural consequences are that I have told my stepson I will trust him to 
tell me the truth when I ask him if he is going out in appropriate clothes, 
but that if anybody else mentions the way he is dressed to me regarding torn 
shirts or pants, I'll start checking him over before we leave the house the 
only way I can, by feel.  Since he doesn't want that to happen, as far as I 
know, he has kept to the rules about what he is allowed to wear out in 
public.

At home is another story.  I really don't care if he wears boxers and a 
T-shirt, so long as the parts that should be covered are covered.  I just 
tell him a few minutes ahead of time if I know someone is coming to the 
house so that he has the chance to put something else on.  If he decides not 
to, then his embarrassment isn't my problem.

I think it's just stages that kids go through.  Sarah went through a stage 
where she wanted to be naked in the house.  I didn't make a big deal of it, 
and she got over it once she decided clothes were a good way to keep warm. 
Then she went through a spell of wanting to wear nothing but pajamas, and 
another spell where she had a shirt with a skeleton on it, complete with the 
arm bones on the sleeves, and she wanted to wear only that.  It's a way of 
self-expression, I think, for kids of all ages to do strange things with 
what they wear.

Jo Elizabeth

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a 
song."  Maya Angelou

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Jennifer Jackson" <jennifersjackson at att.net>
Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 11:35 AM
To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!

> Jo Elizabeth,
>
> I think you have touched on a point here that is particular to being a 
> blind
> parent. When our children go out badly dressed people assume that it is
> because those poor pitiful children have blind parents who can not provide
> for them. Yes, we can all say that we should not care what other people
> think, but that is nonsense. We, just like everyone else, are part of the
> social contract and there are consequences to ignoring the standards of 
> that
> contract. It really is a big deal if the people in our child's school 
> think
> he is being neglected. Often these are consequences that a child is not
> mature enough to understand or respond too. That being said, my pride is 
> an
> issue here too.
>
> It may comfort you to know Jo Elizabeth that that torn clothing look seems
> to be a thing. I recently had to explain to my son that the shirt he has
> with the arms torn out is acceptable, just barely, to meet the you must
> where clothes at home standard, but it is not ok to wear out of our yard. 
> Of
> course the fact that he sees other adults at the store dressed in the same
> kind of shirt with pajama pants on, or their underwear showing, does not
> help support my point. The no hat or coat fashion requirement is also
> baffling to me. It is apparently more important to look right than it is 
> to
> not be cold, which just supports my earlier point about logical
> consequences. :)
>
>
> Jennifer
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> Sent: Wednesday, June 06, 2012 1:42 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] The maid wants to go on strike!
>
>> Rebecca, what if the child does not care if his clothes are dirty? What 
>> if
>> he is perfectly willing to go around in dirty clothes? I know it is 
>> summer
>> time now, but my oldest son would go to school in dirty clothes. I have 
>> to
>> have someone sighted go through his clothes occasionally and pull out
>> things
>> with stains because he will just wear them that way.
>>
> Well, maybe he needs to miss opportunities he'd get if he dressed
> appropriately, being passed over for a date or a volunteer thing or a job.
>
> There is a difference between clothes that stink and stains. I'm not clear
> which one you're dealing with.
>
> Truthfully, I've taken to asking Stephen before we go anywhere if he has
> clothes on that aren't torn.  The last time I didn't ask, he wore a shirt
> that had one sleeve ripped off and jeans that looked like they'd been
> through a crocodile attack.  An older man from my church asked me 
> privately
> if I needed money to get my kids decent clothes, which was totally
> embarrassing.  Seriously, the next week, the man and his wife brought a 
> bag
> to me of stuff they'd bought at Target, for both Stephen and Sarah, as if 
> I
> couldn't provide for them.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
>
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