[blparent] Teaching society about blindness

Wed Mar 7 04:02:55 UTC 2012

The stupid question in my book is the one that isn't asked.  No matter how
hard we try, peeps are curious and want to know anything and everything the
way someone that is different than they are will do what ever.
I really  really try not to make my voice sound rude.  I want peeps to learn
about blindness, not try to shove it in their face.  Heck, I am curious
about others, aren't you.  Don't you want to know how a deaf person listens
to a radio or how he knows to answer his telephone.  If we don't ask, we
won't know.
If I didn't ask, I wouldn't of known that my sister's brother, who is deaf,
listens to the radio by feeling the vibrations.  I thought that was cool and
he didn't think it was a stupid question.
Kids, especially, ask the most interesting questions.  Like Mrs. Smith, how
do you open your front door or how do you put your sock on?  How do you know
where your car is parked or do you burn yourself when you cook?
They may be silly questions to us as we've been doing them all our lives,
but to a child or someone who doesn't know blindness, putting on socks need
vision or putting your key in the lock needs vision.  Well, not to me.  So
instead of ignoring them, I show them right there in the classrooms, I take
off my shoes and socks and then put them on again and for emphasis, I close
my eyes and look at the ceiling.  I want them to really know I am not
looking or as one of the kids said to me, "cheating."

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Tay Laurie
Sent: Tuesday, March 06, 2012 7:15 AM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] Teaching society about blindness

Usually, I don't mention my blindness unless it's asked about,. It's not a
sticking my head in the sand approach, it's the same attitude I adopted with
my wheelchair and other things. I see my disabilities as inconveniences, not
a hindrance. Ok, I may never be able to drive or run a mile for a while, if
ever, but that's ok. There are other ways of getting around.
If asked how I do such and such, i.e "How do you maneuver around the house?"

I answer in a similar vein to, "Well, how do you?" IF the person says "I
walk", I say, then I wheel, or if it's a very short distance, I walk. I know
where corners are, and unless there's a stray piece of laundry, my husband's
foot, etc in the way, I can usually do it relatively well. I've learned how
to open doors and back up, using the chair's pull as the strength to open
doors if I can't. I also know how to operate my chair, i.e folding footrests
in or tucking arms in, to keep it tight enough to fit through the doroway. 
And I still have just enough sight to be able to use sharp knives, and I've
only cut myself once, in the ten years I've done cooking.

I don't say this to brag, but I'm trying to point out that some of the more
obvious questions come from someone who may not have logically thought about
the issues. I had someone in the third grade ask if my eyes were clear. I
made sure they were opened, turned to her and asked, "Well, do they look
clear to you?" Because I wanted her to think about what she'd asked. I know
some folks's eyes lose colour or look damaged, but save for the size being
mismatched, mine don't. I try to teach people to think, not to ask stupid
questions.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Eileen Levin" <eileenlevin at comcast.net>
To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, March 06, 2012 6:30 AM
Subject: Re: [blparent] Teaching society about blindness

>" When I run into females, even blind parents, I often break the ice 
>with  what I call a "conversation starter."  For people I meet, I tell 
>them  about  my blindness after I introduce myself.  "
>
> Dear Eric,
> First, I have no idea why you single out females for this approach. 
> From a female perspective,  that's a bit weird!
>
> Second, being passionate about something can be very constructive. It 
> also indicates a certain amount of need to deal with the subject one 
> is passionate about. I'll be the first to admit that I am still 
> dealing with my blindness. However, when I meet people I want them to 
> understand that my life is not consumed by blindness. I'm blind. 
> Blindness has forced me to adjust and change so that I can provide for 
> my family and parent my children. However, when I'm talking with other 
> parents I want to talk about our kids, current events, normal stuff 
> that the average person likes to chat about. If blindness happens to 
> make it's way into the conversation I'm OK with explaining how I cope 
> with this or that. People who confide in me say that I don't seem 
> blind, which is silly since my eyes look damaged and I very much need 
> a dog or cane to stay safe!  One thing I have noticed over the years 
> is that the folks most likely to talk to me already have someone in 
> the family with some kind of issue beyond the scope of "normal". It's 
> not the first thing they talk about. I usually discover the fact 
> aftger knowing them for quite some time.  Sometimes they want to know 
> why their loved one doesn't come across as capable as I do. I do my 
> best to find out the facts.
> Generally the loved  one is newly blinded or having medical problems 
> that consume all of their energy leaving very little space for adapting to
> blindness.   I also let them know that I had years of mobility and other
> adaptvie techniques training which really helps.
>
>
> Have fun educating the world about blindness. I would also encourage 
> you to try a conversation that is blindness free. The results may 
> surprise you.
> Have a great day,
> Eileen
>
>
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