[blparent] Leashes (was resource list)

Tue May 29 19:51:49 UTC 2012

Everyone,

As your relatively new moderator and as an old blind parent, I want to emphasize again the importance of 
choosing ones words carefully and also letting the emotions cool before sending a message.  We all know 
our own situations well, but it is sometimes easy to forget the great variety of parenting situations 
that exist.  Certainly using words such as "wrong" and Cruel" are very good ways to increase list 
traffic <smile> but I also know of people who have never seen a leash used or may know such a device 
better as a "Tether."  It could be instructive for people to describe situations where they use a leash 
and why.  I used one with one of my kids and it was a disaster.  It was one of those that stretched and 
it seemed to give her the sense that she was more free than she really was.  I also felt that I did not 
know enough what my child was doing when walking with her using the leash.  On the other hand, I found 
it to be somewhat useful when sitting at an airport waiting for our flight to board because it allowed 
her to move around in my immediate vicinity without requiring that I keep my hand on her.  For me, 
though, using the leash while walking was not something I was comfortable with.  I found too many ways 
things could happen that did not happen when I held her hand.  It meant that I would tend to use over-
the-shoulder bags or backpacks for carrying things to keep one hand free while the other used a cane.  
However, I readily accept that other parents may be more effective using a tether than I ever was and do 
not reject the possibility that my methods may not work in all cases.  We have to try hard to share the 
How's and Why's of what we do as parents knowing that we will disagree and that sometimes an approach 
will actually cause an emotional response.  

Best regards,

Steve Jacobson

On Tue, 29 May 2012 11:09:07 -0500, Amanda Matheny wrote:

>That did not come across as it sounded. I do apologize. I am not
>saying you are not good parents, but as good parents we should be able
>to find better ways of keeping our kids in tow besides using products
>made for animals. Just my opinion. I apologize if I am not a master of
>stating things tactfully and came across as rude or anything. That was
>not my intention and my friends know that, while I am very
>opinionated, I never mean any offense. Since you guys just barely met
>me, you have no way of knowing what I'm like, but I assure you I am
>not the type of offensive person I may have come across as on here. To
>each his own really, I just personally have a serious aversion to the
>things, but whatever. Not trying to be nasty though. I hope I can be
>forgiven and will try harder to hold my tongue, or in this case
>fingers, when talking to a bunch of strangers.

>On 5/29/12, Jo Elizabeth Pinto <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
>> So then you're coming on this list as a new member and saying that the vast
>>
>> majority of us, who have raised children through toddlerhood to school age
>> and beyond, and who used leashes either regularly or occasionally as
>> situations arose, are not good parents.  Step carefully, my dear.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a
>> song."  Maya Angelou
>>
>> --------------------------------------------------
>> From: "Amanda Matheny" <mommyzhuuraan at gmail.com>
>> Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 9:44 AM
>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: Re: [blparent] resource list
>>
>>> I will never think a leash is okay for a child. A good parent will
>>> find better ways to keep their kid under control besides restraining
>>> them wih something like that. Leashes are for animals, not children!
>>>
>>> On 5/29/12, Jo Elizabeth Pinto <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
>>>> Sorry, but you may think it's less cruel as your kid gets older and
>>>> wants
>>>> more freedom.  The leash isn't to make your child into a dog, it's to
>>>> help
>>>> your child stay near you without holding on his hand every second, while
>>>> he's young and easily distracted.  Believe me, the leash is far less
>>>> cruel
>>>> than having your kid run off into the street or into some other
>>>> dangerous
>>>> situation, or having to keep him glued to your hand when he wants some
>>>> room
>>>>
>>>> to explore.
>>>>
>>>> Jo Elizabeth
>>>>
>>>> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a
>>>> song."  Maya Angelou
>>>>
>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>> From: "Amanda Matheny" <mommyzhuuraan at gmail.com>
>>>> Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 9:26 AM
>>>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>>>> Subject: Re: [blparent] resource list
>>>>
>>>>> Ewww, leashes! I hate when people put their kids on a leash like an
>>>>> animal! Sorry, but that's just WRONG!
>>>>>
>>>>> Just saw that in the list and had to comment. I'm not usually so
>>>>> bitter about something, but I've seen it before and happen to think
>>>>> it's cruel.
>>>>>
>>>>> On 5/29/12, jan wright <jan.wrightfamily5 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>>>>> OK,
>>>>>> I think I'll start keeping these messages in a file so that  when
>>>>>> people ask about leashes or harnesses or child locators or bells or
>>>>>> squeezy spoons, I'll have a listing for them.
>>>>>> It probably won't be as fancy as someone else's and honestly, it would
>>>>>> be a good idea to start having such resources on hand: (maybe at the
>>>>>> nfb website) for blind parents.
>>>>>> But, until that happens, a good text resource list is a good idea.
>>>>>> But, before I start: has anyone already done this?????
>>>>>>
>>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> --
>>>>> Amanda Matheny
>>>>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/zhuuraanpub or, if you think you know me
>>>>> well enough, request my private twitter username.
>>>>> Website coming soon!
>>>>>
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>>>>
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>>>
>>>
>>> --
>>> Amanda Matheny
>>> Twitter: http://twitter.com/zhuuraanpub or, if you think you know me
>>> well enough, request my private twitter username.
>>> Website coming soon!
>>>
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>>
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>-- 
>Amanda Matheny
>Twitter: http://twitter.com/zhuuraanpub or, if you think you know me
>well enough, request my private twitter username.
>Website coming soon!

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