[blparent] when children get hurt

Wed May 30 00:22:14 UTC 2012

Gosh, we just went through our son getting his hand stuck in the elevator
door last night and it was horrifying for him and us.  Thankfully, he did
stop crying after a minute or so and his fingers were just bruised but it's
a miracle that huge metal door didn't bust his hand.  These little guys are
so quick and even though I was right there holding his hand, he through his
other hand out at the last second and there went his hand.  After that, we
are now playing a game when boarding and unboarding the elevator called,
"hands on tummies" where my son puts his free hand on his tummy so to
hopefully prevent this from happening again.

Erin

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Lisamaria Martinez
Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 4:10 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] when children get hurt

Great question. I've wondered the same thing now that Erik is walking,
running, climbing and totally being a toddler. He falls a lot and crashes
into things a lot. He has already gotten so many bruises, scrapes, bumps and
marks on his arms, legs, face and head.

Even though he pushes my hands away I try very hard to calm him down and
tell him that he should get over it. I say it jokingly and try to distract
him from the pain. I hold him and try to check him out for injuries after he
calms down. I try looking in areas I think he might be hurt based on what he
is doing.

A month or two ago he was at my job and was so excited to be standing up in
the elevator on his own that when the doors opened he rushed out. He put his
forearms on the door, at least I think he did, and as the doors opened he
got his entire forearm stuck in the door frame of the elevator.

He screamed and cried and I soothed him. He had big fat tears and
everything. I thought it was his arm, and my coworkers checked out his arm
after I did and found a little red mark. It wasn't until I got home that
night and put him to bed that I noticed the last three fingers of his hand
were puffy and bruised. He didn't seem to have pain anymore and stopped
crying after a few minutes. so ... the end.

I think the one big thing to remember is that even sighted care givers don't
always know where the hurt is. Joe, and Erik's daycare provider, have both
seen Erik fall and injure himself and can't always tell what hurts. Or, they
see a bump later and have no clue how he hurt himself.
Just stay cool and calm. My mom ran a home daycare and I noticed that if you
reacted, the kid would react too.

Hope that helps.

On 5/29/12, Ronit Ovadia Mazzoni <rovadia82 at gmail.com> wrote:
> Hi Jo Elizabeth,
> My son is only 13 months old. Your tips are helpful, although I think 
> my son's personality is much more dramatic than your daughter's. :) 
> Even when I know he has not hurt himself badly he will scream and I 
> always calmly tell him he's ok and that it's no big deal, etc etc but 
> it never helps him calm down. We call him a "drama king." :) I think 
> that must be part of my worry, because when he is crying and screaming 
> like crazy, it could be for something very little or for something 
> much more serious and he would react the same.
> Thanks for your tips.
> Ronit
>
> On May 29, 2012, at 1:58 PM, Jo Elizabeth Pinto wrote:
>
>> Hi, Ronit.  How old is your son?
>>
>> One of the things I've done, which has seemed shocking to some people 
>> till I explain it, is that I've discouraged the hysterical crying and 
>> flailing that sometimes happens when a child gets hurt.  I've sat 
>> down with my daughter and held her on my lap so she couldn't flop 
>> around and wave her arms.  Then I've insisted that she take slow, 
>> deep breaths.  I did this even when she was less than two years old, 
>> so that after a while it became almost automatic for her to calm 
>> down.  Then, when she was old enough to talk, if she wasn't bleeding 
>> when I inspected her, I'd always say, "No blood, no foul."  Like in 
>> basketball.  After a while, she started saying it herself. And the 
>> few times that she has been bleeding, she has showed me, and said,
"There's blood this time, Mommy!"
>>
>> A month or two ago, Sarah and I were in Sam's Club with her dad, and 
>> she was standing on the front of the shopping cart.  Yes, yes, 
>> dangerous, I know, we talked about that in another thread.  Anywayy, 
>> she fell, and the cashier and the door greeter gasped, thinking she 
>> was going to start wailing.  She got up, dusted herself off, and said,
"No blood, no foul."
>> They were very surprised.
>>
>> I think overall, my approach has taught Sarah that hurting herself 
>> isn't something to be terrified of.  Some in my family have 
>> complained that I didn't allow Sarah to express her emotions in the 
>> moment.  Maybe I didn't, but I believe fear feeds fear, and calm 
>> feeds calm.  I figured I needed calm so I could inspect for injuries, 
>> or, as Sarah has gotten older, let her show me where she's hurt.  
>> I've seen other kids who get a small scratch or bump, and scream and 
>> cry like they're being drawn and quartered, and I've been glad I 
>> showed Sarah another way to handle things.
>>
>> I hope this helps.
>>
>> Jo Elizabeth
>>
>> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it 
>> has a song."  Maya Angelou
>>
>> --------------------------------------------------
>> From: "Ronit Ovadia Mazzoni" <rovadia82 at gmail.com>
>> Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 2:41 PM
>> To: "Blind Parents Mailing List" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
>> Subject: [blparent] when children get hurt
>>
>>> Hi list,
>>> I have a question which may seem silly to many of you but I would 
>>> appreciate any tips you may have. Whenever Alex falls down or gets 
>>> hurt somehow and I am not right there to see what happened, I am 
>>> having a hard time knowing how he hurt himself and the severity of 
>>> the injury. I know this will be happening more once he learns to 
>>> walk and I'd love your ideas on how to handle this. Whenever I know 
>>> he has hurt himself, I always inspect as best I can with my hands to see
if I feel any blood.
>>> Often times, however, he doesn't let me check him out thoroughly 
>>> because he is crying and he pushes my hands away. HE is not old 
>>> enough to tell me what hurts. We had an incident at the park a few 
>>> weeks ago when he cut his lip on a wooden rocking horse and luckily 
>>> my husband was there to help figure out how bad it was and to put 
>>> water on it etc, but I am terrified that he will get more seriously 
>>> hurt when I am by myself and I may not know what he hurt and how bad it
is. What have you all done?
>>>
>>> Thanks in advance for your comments.
>>> Ronit
>>>
>>>
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