[blparent] when children get hurt

Wed May 30 21:27:54 UTC 2012

To tell the truth, I think I misdiagnosed Sarah's bruise.  It felt like a 
bruise yesterday, and my stepson said it looked like a bruise as well.  But 
this morning when I checked it, the spot had gone down from the size of a 
golf ball to something more closely approximating the diameter of my thumb. 
Gerald said it looked like a bug bite of some kind.  I still wonder why the 
teacher didn't say anything, but if Sarah did get bitten, she might not have 
even noticed when the bite actually happened.  I felt sort of silly, but the 
spot did really feel hard and swollen like a bruise yesterday afternoon.

As far as mandated reporting, on the rare occasions when Sarah has had a lot 
of visible bruises or scrapes, I've reminded Gerald to tell the teacher what 
happened, just in case she got strange ideas.  Sarah went through a phase 
around the time she turned four where it seemed like she was getting banged 
up practically every other day, and I didn't want the daycare ladies to 
think we were hurting her.

Jo Elizabeth

"A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a 
song."  Maya Angelou

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)" <REBECCA.PICKRELL at tasc.com>
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 7:26 AM
To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [blparent] when children get hurt

>        Jo Elizabeth.
> You need to talk to the director about why Sarah's teacher didn't report 
> the bruise.
> Daycares and preschools are required by law to fill out an "accident 
> report".
>
> You are paying these people good money to take care of Sarah. They have 
> legal and ethical requirements they need to fulfill in order to stay 
> current with their liscense.
>
> I'd make sure the director and teacher knows you're onto them.
>
> Very likely, Sarah just got a bruise and it means nothing. Still, it 
> should have been reported to you and formally documented.
>
> Also, know that this works both ways.  If you dropped Sarah off and she 
> showed the teacher a bruise and couldn't remember how she got it, and if 
> you didn't have a good reason to explain it, they would be very concerned. 
> They have to be, they are mandated reporters.
>
> So I urge you, don't just let this one slide.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On 
> Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
> Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 8:24 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [blparent] when children get hurt
>
> Dawson is a lucky boy to have such a nurturing mommy.
>
> The reason I've stressed getting Sarah calm right away, with the breathing
> and listening to the sound of my voice, is that I really need to know in a
> hurry if she's just tripped or bumped herself, or if she's seriously hurt.
> I try to take some of the drama out of it so that without seeing, and
> quickly, I can distinguish a little hurt from a big one.  Once I know 
> she's
> fine, I'll hold her as long as she wants me to, and she likes to cuddle up
> for a second and then kiss me on the nose.  Not sure where that one came
> from.  Then she's down from my lap and off again.  But I've seen so many
> kids in the neighborhood or in the grocery store crying forever over some
> hurt, like they're going to die, and I think too much cooing and fussing
> over them makes the trauma and drama last longer than it has to.
>
> As an example, Sarah came to me quite casually when she got home from 
> school
> today and showed me a huge bruise on her arm.  I would say it's as big
> around as a golf ball, but not raised up that much from the surrounding
> skin.  I'm kind of surprised the teacher didn't tell me she got hurt, but 
> I
> guess Sarah didn't make an issue of it.  She couldn't remember how it
> happened, so I'll just keep an eye on it for a day or to.  But, for
> instance, our next door neighbor who just moved away, had a four-year-old
> who would have ruined her whole day over that bruise.
>
> I hope I don't sound like a hard ass.  Sarah gets as much comfort as she
> needs, and plenty of affection.  But she knows since she can get it any 
> time
> she wants it, she doesn't have to play up her bumps and bruises in trade 
> for
> cuddles and kisses.
>
> Anyway, I have to go round them up for dinner.
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> "A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has
> a song."  Maya Angelou
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Erin Rumer" <erinrumer at gmail.com>
> Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 6:10 PM
> To: "'Blind Parents Mailing List'" <blparent at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [blparent] when children get hurt
>
>> With my son I have always gone to him calmly and picked him up to comfort
>> him, unless I know he barely did anything and then I'll just verbally
>> coach
>> him through it   by asking him if he's alright in a concerned but mellow
>> voice.  If he's crying because he did hurt himself I'm hugging him and
>> telling him to "hug the pane away" and I inspect him slowly to check for
>> any
>> injuries.  I first try to see if my son is touching a certain spot like
>> his
>> head or hand to tell me what he's hurt.  I also am taking a survey of the
>> area in my mind to think of what's around and what my son could have hurt
>> himself on.  I just speak calmly and quietly which helps him to calm
>> quickly
>> and I speak to him with understanding saying things like, "That hurt
>> didn't
>> it?" or "Did you get an Ouchy?"  I don't make a big deal about him 
>> getting
>> hurt but I also want him to know that I'm empathetic.  Then once I know
>> he's
>> alright I kiss his Ouchy, tell him how strong he is and have him show me
>> his
>> big muscles which he always likes and-or I sometimes playfully give the
>> thing that hurt him a spanking if I know what it was.  Most times this
>> gets
>> my son feeling better right away when I take the focus off of him and
>> firmly
>> tell the table to, "be nice to my Dawson".  The spanking thing is
>> something
>> my mom used with me and she said it always made me feel better. 
>> Sometimes
>> if my son is really hurt and it's not just a bump or little fall, I'll
>> just
>> hold him and hug him and nursing also often times comforts him quickly.
>>
>> Erin
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Ronit Ovadia Mazzoni
>> Sent: Tuesday, May 29, 2012 1:42 PM
>> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
>> Subject: [blparent] when children get hurt
>>
>> Hi list,
>> I have a question which may seem silly to many of you but I would
>> appreciate
>> any tips you may have. Whenever Alex falls down or gets hurt somehow and 
>> I
>> am not right there to see what happened, I am having a hard time knowing
>> how
>> he hurt himself and the severity of the injury. I know this will be
>> happening more once he learns to walk and I'd love your ideas on how to
>> handle this. Whenever I know he has hurt himself, I always inspect as 
>> best
>> I
>> can with my hands to see if I feel any blood. Often times, however, he
>> doesn't let me check him out thoroughly because he is crying and he 
>> pushes
>> my hands away. HE is not old enough to tell me what hurts. We had an
>> incident at the park a few weeks ago when he cut his lip on a wooden
>> rocking
>> horse and luckily my husband was there to help figure out how bad it was
>> and
>> to put water on it etc, but I am terrified that he will get more 
>> seriously
>> hurt when I am by myself and I may not know what he hurt and how bad it
>> is.
>> What have you all done?
>>
>> Thanks in advance for your comments.
>> Ronit
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/erinrumer%40gmail.com
>>
>>
>> _______________________________________________
>> blparent mailing list
>> blparent at nfbnet.org
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
>> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
>> blparent:
>> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jopinto%40msn.com
>>
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/rebecca.pickrell%40tasc.com
> CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This message and any attachments or files 
> transmitted with it (collectively, the "Message") are intended only for 
> the addressee and may contain information that is privileged, proprietary 
> and/or prohibited from disclosure by law or contract. If you are not the 
> intended recipient: (a) please do not read, copy or retransmit the 
> Message; (b) permanently delete and/or destroy all electronic and hard 
> copies of the Message; (c) notify us by return email; and (d) you are 
> hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of the 
> Message is strictly prohibited.
>
> _______________________________________________
> blparent mailing list
> blparent at nfbnet.org
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
> To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for 
> blparent:
> http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jopinto%40msn.com
> 