[blparent] teen laundry

Tue Nov 6 21:26:37 UTC 2012

I agree.  My teenage stepson went out to eat with me once in a shirt so 
tattered it was barely worth putting on.  I didn't know it at the time.  But 
several people in our party commented on it, and two of them went to 
Wal-Mart and bought a bunch of clothes for him and Sarah, assuming their dad 
and I couldn't afford to, I guess.  I was humiliated.  I told my stepson how 
embarrassed I was and warned him that if I ever heard of him going out with 
torn clothes again while he was with me, I was going to physically feel his 
pants and shirts from then on to make sure they were intact before he made a 
public appearance.  I was dead serious, and he knew it.  To my knowledge, he 
hasn't gone out in shreds again.  By the same reasoning, I let my daughter 
dress any way she wants at home.  But when we go out, she has to match at 
least somewhat, so she doesn't look like a circus clown or a miniature bag 
lady.  I know outsiders will assume that if she looks like that, it's 
because her poor blind mother couldn't match up her clothes, not because she 
dressed herself and she likes running around in one orange sock and one 
white one.  If she's a little bit inhibited with her creative costuming in 
public because society will look askew at her and pity her because she has a 
blind mom, I can live with that.  She'll understand someday.

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message----- 
From: Steve Jacobson
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 1:59 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] teen laundry

I would likely to gently raise two caution flags in this discussion.  First, 
the idea that a teenager will do the laundry is not a
universal one.  It's not that it shouldn't be done, but not all families 
have the same requirements.  With that in mind, my
experience with teenagers is that one has to pick their battles.  Maybe it's 
worth trying to make a trade, his laundry will get
done if he won't do it but he must agree to contribute in some other way. 
Maybe it won't work, but who knows.

The other issue is probably one to which we are all sensitive.  If one of 
our kids goes out in dirty clothes, even our teenagers,
will other people blame the teenager, or will they feel sorry for him 
because his poor blind father or mother isn't able to do the
laundry.  I'm sorry, but the fact is that many will make that assumption, 
especially if they don't know us that well.  My feeling
on this is that kids are part of families, and some of what a teenager does 
reflects on the entire family.  Therefore, one can
sometimes have a tricky path to follow.

I don't raise this perspective to be critical of anyone because each family 
situation is different, but I don't think the
solutions are as clear cut as some would make them.

Best regards,

Steve Jacobson

On Tue, 6 Nov 2012 12:17:47 -0700, Jo Elizabeth Pinto wrote:

>It must be a boy thing.  (Sorry to any guys on the list who don't do it and
>never did, but there are a lot who do.)  My teenage stepson's dirty socks
>end up everywhere, too.  It's gross.  And my brother, he never had that
>problem, but he would literally mail his dirty laundry home to my mom the
>first year he went to college.  Seriously, we'd get these big, heavy
>boxes--and believe me, if you think laundry stinks when it's been lying
>around on the floor for a few days, try opening a box that has been in the
>mail for that long or more.  And the shocking part is, my mom actually did
>the laundry and mailed the clothes back, clean and folded!  She never would
>have done that for me or my sister.  Eventually, they decided it was more
>cost effective--and maybe less nasty--to hire the laundry out by the pound
>to a laundromat in the city where my brother lived.

>Jo Elizabeth

>Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may
>kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
>evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>-----Original Message----- 
>From: Jeri Milton
>Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 12:08 PM
>To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [blparent] teen laundry

>Hi V. No matter what I do or say my step son who is now nineteen
>refuses to pick up his dirty socks. Have you ever been around a teen age
>boys dirty socks? Nasty things! With my nose working as well as it does I
>can find them every time. Under the dining room table, stuffed under the
>sofa, under the computer desk and of course in the couch cushions. Oh Ya,
>and right next to the front door! So, I started throwing them away every
>time I found them. I wanted to pick them up with tweezers they were so
>gross! I guess I don't have to do that anymore because he decided to move
>out last night. I guess there's just too many rules here for him to handle.
>I'm too demanding wanting him to pick up his socks and all. Lol! He was
>still living here because he's still in high school and we had an 
>agreement.
>Well, now he has his freedom and I hope he can afford socks.

>Jeri

>-----Original Message-----
>From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Veronica
>Smith
>Sent: Monday, November 05, 2012 8:43 PM
>To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [blparent] teen laundry

>You are more patient than me, I have been known to put clothes in a trash
>bag and put them outdoors.

>-----Original Message-----
>From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jennifer
>Jackson
>Sent: Saturday, November 03, 2012 1:29 AM
>To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>Subject: [blparent] teen laundry

>I think someone may need to talk me down. :-) Yesterday in the early 
>evening
>I asked my 13 year old for his laundry. This morning I had to get really
>insistent and ask two more times. Almost 3 thymes as when he finally 
>brought
>it down he just left it at the bottom of the stairs without even letting me
>know. I washed his jeans with some of his brothers and finished the load 
>up.
>Now a second load is in the dryer and he is refusing to fold and hang them.
>He even lied and told me they were still wet when I sent him out to handle
>it. I am tempted to put them in a trash bag on the basis that they are
>obviously not important to him. It has been over an hour since he lied 
>about
>them being finished, so it is not as if I am not giving him time to respond
>appropriately.

>Any suggestions for other responses?

>Jennifer

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