[blparent] teen laundry

Jeri Milton jjmilton at cox.net
Sat Nov 10 03:55:03 UTC 2012 

Hi Jo Elizabeth. My step son has embarrassed me like that before too.
Usually because he's one of those who likes to wear his pants down below his
underwear! I refuse to buy him pants that are two sizes too big now. I let
Kate dress herself at home, but when we're going out I pick out her outfits.
So I get the opposite response from people. "Oh, you're daughter is so cute,
it's neat that you can dress her so nicely." Oh, brother! You can tell
they're just dumn founded that she's wearing matching clothes. Now that
she's older it's fun to fold clothes with her. She has a lot of pants that
feel the same. A light weight stretchy material. She knows which pair goes
with which shirt. She's such a girly girl. I use to do the same thing with
dylan, but he has received a lot of hand me down T-shirts. I don't have a
clue now what is what. He's pretty good at matching, but every day before
school I ask him what shirt he is wearing and which pants. One time I forgot
to ask him and he went to school in a super stained white shirt that looked
like he played in the mud before school in it. Ug! 

Jeri 

Jeri

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jo
Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 2:27 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] teen laundry

I agree.  My teenage stepson went out to eat with me once in a shirt so
tattered it was barely worth putting on.  I didn't know it at the time.  But
several people in our party commented on it, and two of them went to
Wal-Mart and bought a bunch of clothes for him and Sarah, assuming their dad
and I couldn't afford to, I guess.  I was humiliated.  I told my stepson how
embarrassed I was and warned him that if I ever heard of him going out with
torn clothes again while he was with me, I was going to physically feel his
pants and shirts from then on to make sure they were intact before he made a
public appearance.  I was dead serious, and he knew it.  To my knowledge, he
hasn't gone out in shreds again.  By the same reasoning, I let my daughter
dress any way she wants at home.  But when we go out, she has to match at
least somewhat, so she doesn't look like a circus clown or a miniature bag
lady.  I know outsiders will assume that if she looks like that, it's
because her poor blind mother couldn't match up her clothes, not because she
dressed herself and she likes running around in one orange sock and one
white one.  If she's a little bit inhibited with her creative costuming in
public because society will look askew at her and pity her because she has a
blind mom, I can live with that.  She'll understand someday.

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message-----
From: Steve Jacobson
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 1:59 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] teen laundry

I would likely to gently raise two caution flags in this discussion.  First,
the idea that a teenager will do the laundry is not a universal one.  It's
not that it shouldn't be done, but not all families have the same
requirements.  With that in mind, my experience with teenagers is that one
has to pick their battles.  Maybe it's worth trying to make a trade, his
laundry will get done if he won't do it but he must agree to contribute in
some other way. 
Maybe it won't work, but who knows.

The other issue is probably one to which we are all sensitive.  If one of
our kids goes out in dirty clothes, even our teenagers, will other people
blame the teenager, or will they feel sorry for him because his poor blind
father or mother isn't able to do the laundry.  I'm sorry, but the fact is
that many will make that assumption, especially if they don't know us that
well.  My feeling on this is that kids are part of families, and some of
what a teenager does reflects on the entire family.  Therefore, one can
sometimes have a tricky path to follow.

I don't raise this perspective to be critical of anyone because each family
situation is different, but I don't think the solutions are as clear cut as
some would make them.

Best regards,

Steve Jacobson

On Tue, 6 Nov 2012 12:17:47 -0700, Jo Elizabeth Pinto wrote:

>It must be a boy thing.  (Sorry to any guys on the list who don't do it 
>and never did, but there are a lot who do.)  My teenage stepson's dirty 
>socks end up everywhere, too.  It's gross.  And my brother, he never 
>had that problem, but he would literally mail his dirty laundry home to 
>my mom the first year he went to college.  Seriously, we'd get these 
>big, heavy boxes--and believe me, if you think laundry stinks when it's 
>been lying around on the floor for a few days, try opening a box that 
>has been in the mail for that long or more.  And the shocking part is, 
>my mom actually did the laundry and mailed the clothes back, clean and 
>folded!  She never would have done that for me or my sister.  
>Eventually, they decided it was more cost effective--and maybe less 
>nasty--to hire the laundry out by the pound to a laundromat in the city
where my brother lived.

>Jo Elizabeth

>Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you 
>may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and 
>full at evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Jeri Milton
>Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 12:08 PM
>To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [blparent] teen laundry

>Hi V. No matter what I do or say my step son who is now nineteen 
>refuses to pick up his dirty socks. Have you ever been around a teen 
>age boys dirty socks? Nasty things! With my nose working as well as it 
>does I can find them every time. Under the dining room table, stuffed 
>under the sofa, under the computer desk and of course in the couch 
>cushions. Oh Ya, and right next to the front door! So, I started 
>throwing them away every time I found them. I wanted to pick them up 
>with tweezers they were so gross! I guess I don't have to do that 
>anymore because he decided to move out last night. I guess there's just too
many rules here for him to handle.
>I'm too demanding wanting him to pick up his socks and all. Lol! He was 
>still living here because he's still in high school and we had an 
>agreement.
>Well, now he has his freedom and I hope he can afford socks.

>Jeri

>-----Original Message-----
>From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
>Veronica Smith
>Sent: Monday, November 05, 2012 8:43 PM
>To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [blparent] teen laundry

>You are more patient than me, I have been known to put clothes in a 
>trash bag and put them outdoors.

>-----Original Message-----
>From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of 
>Jennifer Jackson
>Sent: Saturday, November 03, 2012 1:29 AM
>To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>Subject: [blparent] teen laundry

>I think someone may need to talk me down. :-) Yesterday in the early 
>evening I asked my 13 year old for his laundry. This morning I had to 
>get really insistent and ask two more times. Almost 3 thymes as when he 
>finally brought it down he just left it at the bottom of the stairs 
>without even letting me know. I washed his jeans with some of his 
>brothers and finished the load up.
>Now a second load is in the dryer and he is refusing to fold and hang them.
>He even lied and told me they were still wet when I sent him out to 
>handle it. I am tempted to put them in a trash bag on the basis that 
>they are obviously not important to him. It has been over an hour since 
>he lied about them being finished, so it is not as if I am not giving 
>him time to respond appropriately.



>Any suggestions for other responses?





>Jennifer

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