[blparent] teen laundry

Wed Nov 7 06:26:17 UTC 2012

I taught my son to do his laundry several years ago, so he has the skills to
do it from beginning to end. One of the problems is that I do three to four
loads of laundry every day, so waiting around for him to get his done can be
a real part of the over all laundry problem. We have a pretty good system
going now though and I am planning to change up things a little to make
Tuesday's for washing the little boys laundry and Thursday for Terick.

I do talk with the boys about how we are a team and have to all work
together to get everything done. This most often comes up in the context of
someone complaining about having to do dishes or clean the bathroom. The
child complains that he did not get it dirty and I point out that I wash
everyone's laundry even though I did not wear all the clothes.

My kids can run through a lot of laundry. :) Some of it is part of their
sensory issues. The weight and snugness of wearing several layers can be
very comforting. They also like to wrap up in blankets that they drag around
the house. If I were sighted I would be able to pick out the clothes that
still look clean and put them away for another wearing, but as that is not
an option, the boys have been known to create several loads of laundry in
one day. Thank goodness they are getting more mature and able to understand
about taking better care of their clothes and other belongings. I am also
finding better ways to meet there sensory needs.

Jennifer
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Steve
Jacobson
Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 2:59 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] teen laundry

I would likely to gently raise two caution flags in this discussion.  First,
the idea that a teenager will do the laundry is not a 
universal one.  It's not that it shouldn't be done, but not all families
have the same requirements.  With that in mind, my 
experience with teenagers is that one has to pick their battles.  Maybe it's
worth trying to make a trade, his laundry will get 
done if he won't do it but he must agree to contribute in some other way.
Maybe it won't work, but who knows.

The other issue is probably one to which we are all sensitive.  If one of
our kids goes out in dirty clothes, even our teenagers, 
will other people blame the teenager, or will they feel sorry for him
because his poor blind father or mother isn't able to do the 
laundry.  I'm sorry, but the fact is that many will make that assumption,
especially if they don't know us that well.  My feeling 
on this is that kids are part of families, and some of what a teenager does
reflects on the entire family.  Therefore, one can 
sometimes have a tricky path to follow.

I don't raise this perspective to be critical of anyone because each family
situation is different, but I don't think the 
solutions are as clear cut as some would make them.

Best regards,

Steve Jacobson

On Tue, 6 Nov 2012 12:17:47 -0700, Jo Elizabeth Pinto wrote:

>It must be a boy thing.  (Sorry to any guys on the list who don't do it and

>never did, but there are a lot who do.)  My teenage stepson's dirty socks 
>end up everywhere, too.  It's gross.  And my brother, he never had that 
>problem, but he would literally mail his dirty laundry home to my mom the 
>first year he went to college.  Seriously, we'd get these big, heavy 
>boxes--and believe me, if you think laundry stinks when it's been lying 
>around on the floor for a few days, try opening a box that has been in the 
>mail for that long or more.  And the shocking part is, my mom actually did 
>the laundry and mailed the clothes back, clean and folded!  She never would

>have done that for me or my sister.  Eventually, they decided it was more 
>cost effective--and maybe less nasty--to hire the laundry out by the pound 
>to a laundromat in the city where my brother lived.

>Jo Elizabeth

>Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may 
>kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at 
>evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
>-----Original Message----- 
>From: Jeri Milton
>Sent: Tuesday, November 06, 2012 12:08 PM
>To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [blparent] teen laundry

>Hi V. No matter what I do or say my step son who is now nineteen
>refuses to pick up his dirty socks. Have you ever been around a teen age
>boys dirty socks? Nasty things! With my nose working as well as it does I
>can find them every time. Under the dining room table, stuffed under the
>sofa, under the computer desk and of course in the couch cushions. Oh Ya,
>and right next to the front door! So, I started throwing them away every
>time I found them. I wanted to pick them up with tweezers they were so
>gross! I guess I don't have to do that anymore because he decided to move
>out last night. I guess there's just too many rules here for him to handle.
>I'm too demanding wanting him to pick up his socks and all. Lol! He was
>still living here because he's still in high school and we had an
agreement.
>Well, now he has his freedom and I hope he can afford socks.

>Jeri

>-----Original Message-----
>From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Veronica
>Smith
>Sent: Monday, November 05, 2012 8:43 PM
>To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>Subject: Re: [blparent] teen laundry

>You are more patient than me, I have been known to put clothes in a trash
>bag and put them outdoors.

>-----Original Message-----
>From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jennifer
>Jackson
>Sent: Saturday, November 03, 2012 1:29 AM
>To: 'Blind Parents Mailing List'
>Subject: [blparent] teen laundry

>I think someone may need to talk me down. :-) Yesterday in the early
evening
>I asked my 13 year old for his laundry. This morning I had to get really
>insistent and ask two more times. Almost 3 thymes as when he finally
brought
>it down he just left it at the bottom of the stairs without even letting me
>know. I washed his jeans with some of his brothers and finished the load
up.
>Now a second load is in the dryer and he is refusing to fold and hang them.
>He even lied and told me they were still wet when I sent him out to handle
>it. I am tempted to put them in a trash bag on the basis that they are
>obviously not important to him. It has been over an hour since he lied
about
>them being finished, so it is not as if I am not giving him time to respond
>appropriately.

>Any suggestions for other responses?

>Jennifer

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