[blparent] What's the right thing to do?

[Bernadetta]

Jo Elizabeth,
I never faced that personally--that being said, I've only been a mom 
for eight months so no garantees that that won't happen. It's happened 
to me with my service animal though, but that's besides the point.
I wholeheartedly agree with what you did; No one other than yourself 
should have a say whether to bring your child to a public function such 
as a church gathering. Your friend did definitely step out of line. 
Seems that she could have only suggested it, although that would have 
still been crossing the line; But to get mad at you for not complying 
to her request is ridiculous. You shouldn't change your mind about 
bringing your child anywhere just because someone is doing you a favor 
of taking you there.
I would understand if an event is going to occur and the event was for 
adults only, and it was made clear by the host or the church, whatever 
it may be that you are not to bring your child along. But if the 
service or event is for anyone, and everyone is invited, why not bring 
your kid? I understand your friend would have preferred to attend 
without the hassle of having children around, and ideally a service or 
a gathering at church is supposed to be a comfortable place for all who 
attend,  but who is she to tell you who yu can and cannot bring? It's 
not as if she had the control of making sure that no children attend, 
not just Sarah. I'm willing to bet she didn't call the other two 
families who brought their children, just to tell them to kindly leave 
their children behind. She thought that by doing you a favor, she was 
going to get a favor out of you. Unfortunately her version of a favor 
wasn't fair to you. You were not out of line at all. I'm glad you were 
able to find other transportation, and it's her own loss that she 
wasn't there. Why should you feel bad? She was the one who chose not to 
come for her own seemingly idiotic reasons. Your kid, from what you've 
posted about her as long as I've been a part of this list, is not some 
terror; She's not hurricane sarah, and people dont' have to brace 
themselves in her presence. In fact, it seems she's a good kid, and so 
what if she makes a little noise here and there. She's a living, 
breathing child.
In fact, I find your friend to be quite hypocritical; She's a 
church-going woman, you'd think she'd embrace the fact that a parent 
was eager to bring their offspring to church. Says something about her 
if she wanted to exclude a child from an activity meant for everyone, 
just so she can benefit from it with a little less chaos.
Don't lose any sleep over it; Let that crusty old friend of yours brood 
over it instead; Over the fact that she tried to exercise unfair power 
over you and your daughter. I wouldn't feel good about myself if I were her.
Bernadetta