[blparent] What's the right thing to do?

[Pickrell, Rebecca M (TASC)]

As I said, time for some new friends.
This friend first tried to tell you where you could take Sarah, then tried to rationalize her behavior, then she screamed at you then she tried to rationalize her behavior again.
Not someone you need or want in your life.
Honestly and I say this based on this post and on previous posts, your church sounds pretty miserable. I'd start shopping around.


-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Jo Elizabeth Pinto
Sent: Saturday, November 10, 2012 11:49 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] What's the right thing to do?

Sarah's a good kid.  Granted, she doesn't sit perfectly still, and now and
then she whispers or giggles or drops a crayon, things like that.  But she
sings a lot of the songs, and prays, and is generally pleasant to be around.
I talked to her beforehand and told her what I expected of her.  Sometimes
she's the only child there, since it's a small church, and sometimes there
are a few others.  I know that my friend has been baby-sitting for her two
young grandsons a lot lately, and maybe she was wanting a break, since they
do wear her out.  But her inability to say no to her own daughter shouldn't
be my problem, and I didn't inisist that she had to take Sarah, or that she
had any responsibilities to her or me once we got there.  I said we could
sit in different parts of the church so she could have the quiet time she
needed.  I'm thinking it was just the final straw for her, and maybe she
felt I made her look bad when I asked someone else for a ride.  But I didn't
want to leave Sarah out, and I didn't want to stay home.  Given the weather,
looking for a different ride was my only plausible option.  She said Sarah
doesn't always have to be included in everything.  That's true, but I think
only children do get taken along more often than not.  So anyway, thanks for
the reassurance.  I just hate confrontations, especially the nasty kind like
that.  Sarah didn't seem to be too worried about it.  She asked what was
wrong with my friend, and I told her the friend was having a bad day and not
feeling too well.  She said oh, and went on with her life.

Jo Elizabeth

Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may
kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
-----Original Message-----
From: Bernadetta
Sent: Saturday, November 10, 2012 9:11 PM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [blparent] What's the right thing to do?

Jo Elizabeth,
I never faced that personally--that being said, I've only been a mom
for eight months so no garantees that that won't happen. It's happened
to me with my service animal though, but that's besides the point.
I wholeheartedly agree with what you did; No one other than yourself
should have a say whether to bring your child to a public function such
as a church gathering. Your friend did definitely step out of line.
Seems that she could have only suggested it, although that would have
still been crossing the line; But to get mad at you for not complying
to her request is ridiculous. You shouldn't change your mind about
bringing your child anywhere just because someone is doing you a favor
of taking you there.
I would understand if an event is going to occur and the event was for
adults only, and it was made clear by the host or the church, whatever
it may be that you are not to bring your child along. But if the
service or event is for anyone, and everyone is invited, why not bring
your kid? I understand your friend would have preferred to attend
without the hassle of having children around, and ideally a service or
a gathering at church is supposed to be a comfortable place for all who
attend,  but who is she to tell you who yu can and cannot bring? It's
not as if she had the control of making sure that no children attend,
not just Sarah. I'm willing to bet she didn't call the other two
families who brought their children, just to tell them to kindly leave
their children behind. She thought that by doing you a favor, she was
going to get a favor out of you. Unfortunately her version of a favor
wasn't fair to you. You were not out of line at all. I'm glad you were
able to find other transportation, and it's her own loss that she
wasn't there. Why should you feel bad? She was the one who chose not to
come for her own seemingly idiotic reasons. Your kid, from what you've
posted about her as long as I've been a part of this list, is not some
terror; She's not hurricane sarah, and people dont' have to brace
themselves in her presence. In fact, it seems she's a good kid, and so
what if she makes a little noise here and there. She's a living,
breathing child.
In fact, I find your friend to be quite hypocritical; She's a
church-going woman, you'd think she'd embrace the fact that a parent
was eager to bring their offspring to church. Says something about her
if she wanted to exclude a child from an activity meant for everyone,
just so she can benefit from it with a little less chaos.
Don't lose any sleep over it; Let that crusty old friend of yours brood
over it instead; Over the fact that she tried to exercise unfair power
over you and your daughter. I wouldn't feel good about myself if I were her.
Bernadetta

_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for
blparent:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/jopinto%40msn.com


_______________________________________________
blparent mailing list
blparent at nfbnet.org
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/blparent_nfbnet.org
To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for blparent:
http://nfbnet.org/mailman/options/blparent_nfbnet.org/rebecca.pickrell%40tasc.com
CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This message and any attachments or files transmitted with it (collectively, the "Message") are intended only for the addressee and may contain information that is privileged, proprietary and/or prohibited from disclosure by law or contract. If you are not the intended recipient: (a) please do not read, copy or retransmit the Message; (b) permanently delete and/or destroy all electronic and hard copies of the Message; (c) notify us by return email; and (d) you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution or copying of the Message is strictly prohibited.