[blparent] People holding my child

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

Shelby,

I don't believe you are over-reacting. This is your child, and sight or
no, you have every right to know where your child is and who has them.
And your parents need to respect you as a parent. Regardless of how much
people help us, our children are ultimately ours. We set the rules and
guidelines, and when it comes to our family and friends, they need to
respect the boundries we establish.

I don't like people holding and touching my kids for many reasons, the
spreading of germs being one, let alone the fact of not knowing where my
child is. And if anyone just took off with them especially if they
didn't say anything, I would be bothered too. To not ask a person to do
this is just beyond my ability to comprehend. My mom, the grandma of my
kids, will ask me if she can hold my kids, so for a non-family member to
take your baby and then leave the area where you are, is just insane to
me. I know people like this don't have bad intentions, but it's not
their child to do what they will with. I've had people approach me while
holding Declan and try to just take him from my arms as though I'm okay
with people taking him without even asking me, and then when I'm
actually holding him... It doesn't go well for people like this. When
Penny was a baby, people tried this too. I know they just want to hold a
cute little baby, but they need to respect boundries.

A good friend of ours always wants to take the baby. It usually stems
from his concern about us, being blind, carrying or walking with our
baby. He always tries to snatch the car seat or baby from us, and we
always have to firmly say we will hold or carry our own baby. When Penny
was a toddler, he took her from Ross's arms after leaving a restaurant.
He actually told Ross it wasn't safe since we were crossing a parking
lot, and he wouldn't give her back. I often wonder why we are friends
wit this person, smirk. I have to constantly fight this person on this
issue.

Ross and I purchased a Baby Bjorn carrier so we can strap Declan in,
giving us the excuse to say others can't hold him while in the carrier.
Most people don't even ask when he's strapped in since it isn't as easy
to hand him over when you have to unhook the carrier. It's a nice ploy
that works well, grin.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 1
Date: Mon, 12 Nov 2012 13:38:46 -0600
From: Shelby Young <blindatbirth at yahoo.com>
To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [blparent] People holding my child
Message-ID: <728E8A52-A956-450C-A8AC-6C93679F6B53 at yahoo.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii

Hello,

About a month ago, I was at church with my parents, sisters and son.  I
went to the bench where my family was sitting.  My mom says, "let me see
Jaxcen."  I handed him to her, no big deal.  She had said this lady
wanted to look at him and she was down by my mom.  This lady took him
from my mom and walked off to go sit clear across the room.  I got
angry.  My parents kept telling me it was ok because they new where he
was.  It upset me so bad.  I was almost crying.  Fanilly after about ten
minutes my mom went to get him.  I tried explaining how it made me feel
but was told its ok she did that because she really likes me and him.  I
don't care if she really likes us, its not ok with her taking my son.  A
few weeks ago, I was nice and let this same lady hold Jaxcen with me
right by her.  She takes off down the hall with him.  He was crying
because he didn't want her.  He's a big mama's boy. I followed her as
she kept walking away with my son.  She kept saying you don't need your
mama, you don't need your mama.  I felt the same anger boil up inside
me.  I tried explaining to my parents again how it made me feel, but
they said the same thing.  How can I tell people no without being rood
and feeling bad?  Did I over react by getting so upset?  

Shelby