[blparent] People holding my child

[Brandy Wojcik]

I also usually where my tiny ones, but when someone asks to hold him I
generally say no. If there are only a few people around and I'm completely
comfortable with the person I may say yes. I also use the germ thing as if
the baby gets sick so do I and that isn't good for anyone. I hang with a lot
of attachment parents so don't have as much trouble with this.

Bran


-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Bridgit
Pollpeter
Sent: Wednesday, November 14, 2012 2:18 AM
To: blparent at nfbnet.org
Subject: [blparent] People holding my child

Shelby,

I don't believe you are over-reacting. This is your child, and sight or no,
you have every right to know where your child is and who has them.
And your parents need to respect you as a parent. Regardless of how much
people help us, our children are ultimately ours. We set the rules and
guidelines, and when it comes to our family and friends, they need to
respect the boundries we establish.

I don't like people holding and touching my kids for many reasons, the
spreading of germs being one, let alone the fact of not knowing where my
child is. And if anyone just took off with them especially if they didn't
say anything, I would be bothered too. To not ask a person to do this is
just beyond my ability to comprehend. My mom, the grandma of my kids, will
ask me if she can hold my kids, so for a non-family member to take your baby
and then leave the area where you are, is just insane to me. I know people
like this don't have bad intentions, but it's not their child to do what
they will with. I've had people approach me while holding Declan and try to
just take him from my arms as though I'm okay with people taking him without
even asking me, and then when I'm actually holding him... It doesn't go well
for people like this. When Penny was a baby, people tried this too. I know
they just want to hold a cute little baby, but they need to respect
boundries.

A good friend of ours always wants to take the baby. It usually stems from
his concern about us, being blind, carrying or walking with our baby. He
always tries to snatch the car seat or baby from us, and we always have to
firmly say we will hold or carry our own baby. When Penny was a toddler, he
took her from Ross's arms after leaving a restaurant.
He actually told Ross it wasn't safe since we were crossing a parking lot,
and he wouldn't give her back. I often wonder why we are friends wit this
person, smirk. I have to constantly fight this person on this issue.

Ross and I purchased a Baby Bjorn carrier so we can strap Declan in, giving
us the excuse to say others can't hold him while in the carrier.
Most people don't even ask when he's strapped in since it isn't as easy to
hand him over when you have to unhook the carrier. It's a nice ploy that
works well, grin.

Sincerely,
Bridgit Kuenning-Pollpeter
Read my blog at:
http://blogs.livewellnebraska.com/author/bpollpeter/
 
"History is not what happened; history is what was written down."
The Expected One- Kathleen McGowan

Message: 1
Date: Mon, 12 Nov 2012 13:38:46 -0600
From: Shelby Young <blindatbirth at yahoo.com>
To: Blind Parents Mailing List <blparent at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [blparent] People holding my child
Message-ID: <728E8A52-A956-450C-A8AC-6C93679F6B53 at yahoo.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii

Hello,

About a month ago, I was at church with my parents, sisters and son.  I went
to the bench where my family was sitting.  My mom says, "let me see Jaxcen."
I handed him to her, no big deal.  She had said this lady wanted to look at
him and she was down by my mom.  This lady took him from my mom and walked
off to go sit clear across the room.  I got angry.  My parents kept telling
me it was ok because they new where he was.  It upset me so bad.  I was
almost crying.  Fanilly after about ten minutes my mom went to get him.  I
tried explaining how it made me feel but was told its ok she did that
because she really likes me and him.  I don't care if she really likes us,
its not ok with her taking my son.  A few weeks ago, I was nice and let this
same lady hold Jaxcen with me right by her.  She takes off down the hall
with him.  He was crying because he didn't want her.  He's a big mama's boy.
I followed her as she kept walking away with my son.  She kept saying you
don't need your mama, you don't need your mama.  I felt the same anger boil
up inside me.  I tried explaining to my parents again how it made me feel,
but they said the same thing.  How can I tell people no without being rood
and feeling bad?  Did I over react by getting so upset?  

Shelby


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