[blparent] People holding my child

Wed Nov 14 15:57:37 UTC 2012

You are the mom, you can always say no. That being said, your folks may not understand emotionally that a sighted mom can look over and see that little Johnny is with Debbie and they're looking out the window. You can't. You may need to explicitly tell your folks this, as it's doubtful they or anybody else you deal with will truly grasp what you're experiencing and what they need to do.
Lots of people use church as a kind of break, your kid gets to socialize with both kids and adults who are believed to be safe. Your parents don't sound like bad folks, more like they were trying to help without realizing that's not how you'd see it.
As for the lady, she'd annoy me too I'd just tell her what the rules are going to be and then make sure that happens. If you do want her to hold your baby, have her sit where she can't escape, so that she must pass by you if she wants to leave.
Some people go absolutely nuts around babies.
Lastly, this happened a month ago. Why hasn't it been resolved yet?

-----Original Message-----
From: blparent [mailto:blparent-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Lisamaria Martinez
Sent: Monday, November 12, 2012 4:40 PM
To: Blind Parents Mailing List
Subject: Re: [blparent] People holding my child

Hi,

I wouldn't worry too much about getting upset: you should. Most people
don't ask to hold a baby and walk off. There are lots of ways you can
avoid having folks hold your kid if it upset you to have your baby so
far away from you.

If you like, wear your baby; that way, it seems inconvenient for you
to take the baby out just to have someone hold him. Also, it is always
okay to say no. If you don't like putting a period at the end of the
sentence come up with a reason that seems vallid. It doesn't have to
be true. Say, my kid has stranger anxiety. Or, he's sleepy and I'd
like him to get to sleep. Or, I have to feed him soon and he'll get
cranky away from me. Say anything that sounds plausible if you just
don't want to say no and leave it at that.

Also, just ask the lady or anyone to not go off. Engage them in a
conversation to keep them near you. If they keep walking off, just
say, hey, I'm not comfortable with you taking my baby far away please
stay near. If they don't oblige, then don't hand your kid over.

And above all else, you are mom. If your parents don't understand or
don't get it, just tell them, this is what I feel and this is what I
want for my kid and I would really appreciate it if you respect my
decisions and feelings about my child.

I had to say that with my parents and my in-laws about baptizing my
child. In the end, you are the one raising your kid, not them.

On 11/12/12, Jo Elizabeth Pinto <jopinto at msn.com> wrote:
> I don't think you are overreacting.  Try telling your parents how you feel
> when you aren't upset or in the middle of the situation.  If that doesn't
> work, just say you're the mom, and if they want to hold your baby, that's
> fine, but they have to give him back to you and not to anybody else when
> they're done.
>
>
>
>
> Jo Elizabeth
>
> Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may
> kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at
> evening.--Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Shelby Young
> Sent: Monday, November 12, 2012 12:38 PM
> To: Blind Parents Mailing List
> Subject: [blparent] People holding my child
>
> Hello,
>
> About a month ago, I was at church with my parents, sisters and son.  I went
>
> to the bench where my family was sitting.  My mom says, "let me see Jaxcen."
>
> I handed him to her, no big deal.  She had said this lady wanted to look at
>
> him and she was down by my mom.  This lady took him from my mom and walked
> off to go sit clear across the room.  I got angry.  My parents kept telling
>
> me it was ok because they new where he was.  It upset me so bad.  I was
> almost crying.  Fanilly after about ten minutes my mom went to get him.  I
> tried explaining how it made me feel but was told its ok she did that
> because she really likes me and him.  I don't care if she really likes us,
> its not ok with her taking my son.  A few weeks ago, I was nice and let this
>
> same lady hold Jaxcen with me right by her.  She takes off down the hall
> with him.  He was crying because he didn't want her.  He's a big mama's boy.
>
> I followed her as she kept walking away with my son.  She kept saying you
> don't need your mama, you don't need your mama.  I felt the same anger boil
>
> up inside me.  I tried explaining to my parents again how it made me feel,
> but they said the same thing.  How can I tell people no without being rood
> and feeling bad?  Did I over react by getting so upset?
>
> Shelby
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